Pecking Problems [Joker, Rooster]

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It was after hours and the moon shone brightly over the large city that some would call great.  Tonight Joker didn't think it was.  He stood at the door to the club and with little effort picked the lock and entered, locking it behind him.  His head was hung low and he dragged his feet in some kind of apparent defeat.  he was a little banged up from the altercation earlier with Bullock and some lady friend of his.  he guessed she was a lady friend but he didn't know she could have been a new trainee or his laundry lady for all he cared.

Usually when he entered her club he made some sort of loud entrance.  He looked around slowly and walking by the bar instead of his theatrical shenanigans, he merely picked up a stray glass that had been forgotten on the bar and dropped it to the floor.   he felt that was all the boom he could muster at the moment.

He sauntered into her basement gallery and sort of spied her doing something but he really didn't register much more. He grabbed a chair dragging it across the floor it squeaked loudly as the rubber tips slid across the tiles not unlike fingernails to a chalk board settled it beside her not looking at her and took a deep breath.  All the sound he could generate was.

"Snurfffff..ffff...fffff..f...........f"

[Deleted]

The room echoed with the music of Mr. Willie Nelson and a few friends.  Rooster was behind a blast shield and a low and nearly seductive little evil chuckle was emitting from her until she saw him. She looked up to see him sulking his way over. She raised her brow inquisitively. He looked as though his spirits were down. She then looked down at herself, realizing her current dress was a little minimal.

"You always gotta come around when I'm in my underwear. No matter, I got somethin' fer you, so good timing, sug."

She came around the blast shield wearing one of her bedtime outfits.  Even her eye patch was purple.  Her boots had a shorter cuff and higher heel.  They were also purple, but with sequins in places.  She carried a long box wrapped with green and white striped paper with a purple bow.  She set it on his lap.

"I sure hope you like it.  Had to do somethin' nice since you got me that little rocket launcher."

[Deleted]

The explosion of purple woke him up enough to look up at her. His eyes grew wider the closer she got. Her lacey outfit didn't hide much and suddenly his memory of when he smelled her came to his senses. His mind had gone from utter black despair to a whirlwind in less than a second and his head began to bob up & down recalling her show when firing her .50 cal rifle previously. He was speechless but instinctively he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

When she sat the box in his lap she was close enough where he could catch her smell again and he leaned forward inhaling.

"ennnn....smell"

His left leg began loudly thumping  up and down excitedly with her being so close.

[Deleted]

She normally would have put an arm to his throat and told him to pipe down, but maybe here and there a girl could just tease.

A slow and deep little rumble moved from the back of her throat. She stayed leaned over for a second longer than she had to. She straightened up and turned away from him, walking around bending down, her head hovering just to the right of his.  

"Well I didn't think you'd be that excited and you hadn't even opened it yet, Jay Bird. Now go ahead, open it."

Her southern twang seemed that much sweeter when her voice was at the tone it was at. When he would open the box he would find a very fine Beretta SS06 Express. It was a very, very classy classy twelve gauge shotgun. The barrel was white, the wood stained a deep purple, and above the trigger was a decorative green colored metal with the skyline of amusement mile carved into it. Above it the word Beretta was engraved sweetly, as that was the name of the company that made it, not to mention the lady giving it to him. The trigger was bright red.

"Just arrived today from Italy, custom made just for you, sug."

Rooster brushed her hair behind her ear with a sultry and supple smile  She reached down and cocked it for him.

"Its loaded."

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When she whispered in his ear that it was loaded a shiver went down his spine. His eyes trailed along the curve of her bosom which was so dangerously close and his senses continued to swim. In the moment he had forgotten Harley. This woman knew him much better. He closed his eyes, his voice in a shudder. As the song switched and begun playing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=m64lIa7tRI0

" I want to watch you......touch it....."

[Deleted]

Beretta rose to stand straight up, removing the gun from his lap. Now she knew what made him tick. With a mischievous smirk she approached the range, dragging his chair behind her, having no problems dragging his weight.

She picked up a belt of shot gun shells, his back was facing the range. She stood infront of him, a belt of shotgun shells falling from her left shoulder to her right hip. As the song came on her smirk just smoothed out more.

"Mmm, how appropriate."

Her left foot came to rest on the spot between his legs on the chair. A teasing smile appeared in her eyes. She put some hearing protection over his ears that would block out the sound of the gun shots, but would allow the music to be clear, as they were headphones as well as hearing protection.

As she began shooting her trigger pulls and the kickback (that seemed to jiggle her in a way only a shot gun could) were in perfect sync with the music. As it continued on her smile only grew and it was obvious she was enjoying herself. Here and there, during a reload, she would do soemthing fancy like flipping it or rolling it over her shoulder. She was a skilled shot, there was no doubt about it.

At then end she would remove her foot from where it was and then bend down to set the fun back on his lap. She pulled the cans off his ears.

"Well, I sure hope you liked that."

She straightened back up and sauntered her way back to where they were before, pulling a sheer purple robe over herself and walked back over to him, lounging on the table which would have just been below his eye level.

"Now, why you lookin' all mopey tonight, hmm? If you want I can make you somethin't'eat. You hadn't had any'o'my cookin yet, Jay Bird."

[Deleted]

He picked up the Beretta and cradled it smelling the gun powder deeply and he gave a little smile as he stroked the gun like a pet cat and slowly rocked back & forth. He looked at her a moment and sighed trying to find the words.

"My plan isn't working...I mean it's working but the ones I'm after they're...they're GONE or something..... Gordon is nowhere to be found, Batsy must be off playing with his treehouse friends the "Justice league" or something. I hate that club....always dragging him off when they need someone....smart."

he sighed again

"and the brats! Where are they? I blow up a building i get...get...HAWKGIRL and some nobody hero I've never seen who i could care less about....like Gotham needs ANOTHER one. OH and Bullock. Detective. Lietenant. HARvey BullOCK. It should be Bull UCK! Oh he's gotten in my way a couple times alread I'm thinking about taking him down but........ohhhh"

he sighed again.

"I wonder how Arkham is this time of year?"

He looked down and kicked the air with his foot.

"I bet it's more fun..."

[Deleted]

Rooster swung her legs off the table and to the ground. She leaned forward, straightening his little tie thing a bit.

"D'awwww, you poor thing. Your boyfriend won't come out to play with you, how sad."

There was a twinge of cruelty in her words. She knew he'd appreciate it.

She dodged him kicking the air.

"Oooh, I like that name, Bullock. He sounds like my kinda man, but I guess that would mean you wouldn't get to come and see me, huh?"

Rooster chuckled and pulled him to his feet by the tie around his neck.

"C'mon, a nice meal always cheers a boy up."

She turned, dragging him along, pulling with a little more force than she had to. Another thing she knew he would appreciate. Once they were up on her level she showed him to a seat at her kitchen island and removed the robe, draping it over the stool next to his. She headed to the fridge and got a few things out.

"So there's obviously a flaw you're not seeing here, Jay Bird."

She bent down to get a pan or two out of the drawer that pulled out below the stove. While she waited on the pans to get hot she turned to him.

"Find the flaw."

[Deleted]

He reluctantly followed her upstairs and plopped down. He spied a bottle of whiskey on the island and slowly dragged it to him then he got up looking through the cabinets throwing everything out behind him.

"Not here. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not here. Where are they? Nope. Nope."

Dishes and canned goods spices and everything was getting thrown until it was empty and he'd move to the next. He was obviously looking for something though. He paused and looked back over at the island.

"Oh!"

He went back to it and grabbed the 2 shot glasses. The bottle had been obstructing his view. He poured her a drink then poured himself some, paused and poured himself some more.

"He's not my boyfriend.....he's just fun. You should see him when hes staring down at you grimacing and his face is turning different shades of red."

He mimicked The Batman's angry face.

"Aheeh So funny. You can see he wants to do it, to send you off to the Happy Hunting Grounds but he won't. No matter what."

He took a drink and shrugged.

"I couldn't come see you but you could always come see me....well....most days....if they allow it.....ok maybe not. But I see no flaw. Maybe I blew up more buildings.....speaking of which how's business?"

[Deleted]

"Mmm mmm mmm, now he sounds even more my type. I like the ones that always looked pissed off, ha."

She turned back to the stove and threw a pair of fat steaks on the biggest pan. In a smaller one she began frying bacon, and in another she threw in some fresh collared greens. She looked over and rolled her eyes when he started making a mess to find shot glasses. She let it go, he was just chaos on two legs and so was she, they were just at opposite ends of the chaos spectrum.

"None of your damn business."

She swayed her hips a bit as she thought and cooked. Finally she picked up the shot glass and downed it, setting it back down with purpose.

"Maybe you're a little too stuck on blowing stuff up. When you destroy so much people will think that your a one trick pony and honey,"

She turned to him again, walking over to pour herself a shot and to top his glass off.

"you got more than one trick up that purple sleeve of yours."

She downed the shot and set the glass back down. She walked back over to the stove to flip the steaks and the bacon. She jumped back and growled when a little speck of bacon grease got her just below the clavicle. She tossed the bacon in the pot of collared greens and then threw two potatoes worth of home fries in the bacon grease, covering it with a lid.

"Pour me another, wouldga?"

[Deleted]

He gave her a look of shock when she said what she said and opened his mouth to say something. She was right and that's possibly what his problem was. He's done his shock and awe. It was time to get up closer and add some color, preferably red and green. It's time to pull out some tricks and throw down the gauntlets. they weren't coming for him so he would call them out. He poured her drink and carried it to her reaching around her from behind presenting it to her. He peered over his shoulder at the steaks leaning closely up against her.

"Not too done. I like it very pink...."

[Deleted]

She could tell he knew she was right because that boldness him came back. That was the Joker she knew. She smiled.

"I like 'em bleedin."

She plopped both steaks onto plates and took the drink, downing it. She could nearly feel his breath on her neck.

While the steaks rested she finished everything else up within five or ten minutes. She shoved him off by bumping him firmly with her backside.

"Don't you go gettin' all lovey dovey on me. You know I don't like that."

Another chuckle came from her and she turned to him with two plates. The potatoes and collared greens steamed. She set the plates down across from each other. She turned to put a few things away and get out hot sauces. A bottle of tabasco and another of valentino's, a Mexican equivalent. She doused her potatoes with it. She got a little bottle of pepper juice off the island and doused her collared greens with it. She leaned over onto the island a little as she began to cut her steak.

"So, what's your next move, Jay Bird? You gonna get creative like I'm tellin' you? I know you have it in you."

[Deleted]

He looked at the steak and picked up his knife and stabbed it lifting the whole thing up and bit into it tearing off a chunk his eyes not leaving hers as he ripped the flesh away juices trickling down his chin.

"Y'know y'know you're right n' I know y'know you're right. So...."

He took a long swing of drink. Looked at her calmly as he stabbed the steak and starting cutting it still eyes locked on her and he smiles broadly.

"Creative I will be, and the screams will be GLORIOUS."

His eyes lit up almost passionately when he said the last word.

"I will call them out, and ohhhhh yes they will come. HeeehhahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"

He was laughing so hard he fell out of his chair which made him laugh even harder.

[Deleted]

She smiled to him and took a rather savage bite of her own steak, but she had cut it apart, unlike her guest.

She just watched him as he spoke. Something seemed to awaken in him, and even though she wouldn't admit it, she found it a little exciting. Her giggle dripped with suppleness when he fell over laughing. She had a few more bites of her food before she picked her drink back up and walked around to him. She placed her boot on his chest.

"Now I get it."

She put a little more weight on him and bent down slowly, her hair hanging down and her lips glinting under the light of the room.

"I'm your muse."

She straightened pack up and pressed him firmly on the chest, twisting her foot a little as she did it. Finally she took her boot off of him and offered him a hand to help him up.

"Now finish up your food or you don't get no desert, Jay Bird."

[Deleted]

She could tell her attitude was exciting him and when she said 'I'm your muse.' He giggled loudly and almost shyly. He slid back to his chair and giggling playfully to himself as he finished his dinner and his idea arose. It would be short, sweet and fatal. He laughed a little louder and snorted as he tried to hold it in finishing his dinner.

The police just needed to lighten up he thought to himself. As he pushed his plate away with a sigh.

"Mmmmm Good cookin' Tex. What you got f'r desert f'r ole' Jay Bird?"