Troubador: Rebuild [Just had to say no Joker...][Joker]

[Deleted]

Rooster was in the middle of her club looking up, tipping her hat to allow her a better view.

"Alright, Bobby, now!"

The bartender pulled a little lever that was triggered by a trick bottle.  A cage came falling down.  Rooster didn't flinch as it crashed around her on the ground.  She smiled over to Bobby.

"Well hell yeah.  At least if someone tries comin' and stirring the pot 'round here again I can get 'em."

Bobby switched the bottle back in place and put a little safety on it only he and Rooster knew about.  A chain motor began pulling it back up and returned it to its hiding spot.  She walked over to the bar.

"Hmm, well.  At least this place ain't been torn up like it coulda been.  I just sent checks to the families this morning.  Everyone's funeral costs are covered with a little extra.  I got about seven funerals to go to this weekend, so I'll need you and Boomhauer to keep watch over things.  I shouldn't be too busy aside from that.  Well anyway, I got business to tend to.  You keep runnin' it down here, Bobby.  I'm headed up for the night."

Bobby nodded to his boss before she left.

As the evening hours meandered in Rooster was sitting on her couch in her finely put together two stories of home.  She got up to head off to her room and change.  When she returned from her room she headed back to the living room wearing a western shirt, lone ranger underoos, tube socks, and her hat, of course.

Rooster bobbed her head to the song playing on her stereo and sang along to it, picking her banjo up on the way back to the living room and strumming along to it.

[Deleted]

"Helloooooo, Poopsie. Miss me?"

There he was. He had made himself at home sitting on her couch he'd kicked off his shoes and propped his feet up on her coffee table. A stark white big toe was poking through a hole in his sock. In his had was his classic .44 magnum "Bang" gun. Beside him were a few wrapped packages in various sizes from small to really freakin' big. The wrapping job was deplorable as if a 5 year old had done it and hurriedly.

Rooster had left an impression on him, and on the table he stole. He'd seemingly become obsessed with the table and wasn't fond of the buck shot damage she administered to it on his escape during his last visit to the Troubador.

"By the way. NICE cage down below. You may want to give it a few more tweaks. It wasn't as hard to get out of as I had wondered. *ahheeehhhheeee*"

He couldn't help but indulge in her exposed legs and gave a raise of his brow in admiration, but she really wasn't his type in that way. Plus Harley would kill her if something happened......and maybe him as well.

"I was around and thought I'd stop by and see how you...uh yawwwwl are holdin' up. You fix up right purdy. I might have to come trash it again soon. *Hahahahaheeeheeeahem* Oh look!"

He sat forward excitedly with a giddy laugh.

"Presents! Guaranteed to not blow up!! I think anyway. Let's see....hmmmm."

He thought a moment pointing to each one.

"No...not without help, and technically it could but not in the way you would think. Yup! They're all good! Come open!"

[Deleted]

Rooster clenched her banjo, her playing stopping. She hated this guy. Why the hell was he here? With gifts?

Rooster wasn't an idiot. She pulled a lupara off her fire place mantle, her banjo now resting across her back by the strap. She kept it aimed at him and looked at the presents. She nudged one with her boot a little. She finally directed her both eyes back at him. She flipped her eye patch up. The low lights and little air flow allowed her to expose it without issue. It was slightly glazed looking, but the green in it was just as cutting as the green in her good eye. She flipped the black patch back down.

"If anything does anything I don't like you're dead."

She noted his little look at her. She furrowed her brow at him even more.

"And don't'chu be eyeballin' me like that. You ain't gettin' none'a'that. You know I ain't got any qualms with pluckin' someone's eyes out."

She gave him a weary look before opening the first one. Play the game to win the game.

[Deleted]

In the tiny box was a glass eye. He chuckled a bit when she opened it. It wasn't even the same color as her natural one. This one was a weird mix of pink and blue. Many would call it cotton candy. He smiled and kept chuckling to himself and slid over a bot to be just out of arm's length.

"Y'see...well....bad word, but you have the patch...and well I thought you didn't have one but you got that funky green one going on so well.....now you have a paperweight! neat HUH??? *heeheheehehhahhhaahahahaha*"


He grabbed the medium box and almost shoved it in her face. He was obviously very excited about the whole thing going on.

"OOH!! This one next!! Open this one!"

He looked at it then to her then back at it.

[Deleted]

She just gave him an unamused stare when she opened the first box to find a glass eye. She decided not to say anything, for now, and began to open the next.

Whatever it was it better not be stupid or blow up. She did not like explosions around her, well, she loved creating them, but that was all in a different room of her home.

She pulled the item from the box and looked it over.

[Deleted]

Joker smiled proudly at this present. It was a vintage bottle of Maker's Mark the date read 1958, the year the brand began production.

"Yeah it's old. The next one! Open it now now now!! It's kinda heavy. *heeheeheee*"

He clapped his hands in anticipation. His meeting with penguin and Scarface completely not on his mind as one of his best imposters sat in for him. Plus the place was trapped and heavily guarded. he was sure it'd go without a hitch, and even if not, he wouldn't be going to Arkham. Winning!

[Deleted]

Rooster looked mildly impressed by the bottle. She looked it over for a moment, glancing over to him. She could tell he hadn't actually tampered with it and it was indeed a vintage bottle of the liquor. She knew her Maker's Mark.

"Don't be rushin' me."

She began to tear apart the wrapping on the next one. The weight was indeed on the heavier side, but not heavy enough that she couldn't set it in her lap before she began to open it.

[Deleted]

It was beautiful. A customized bazooka painted in the colors and style of the Texas flag. At the end of it were steer horns and painted in script along the side of is was "Don't forget the ala mode!" Joker held his breath looking at her silently waiting for her reaction.

"It's a bazooka....because last time you missed."

He began to giggle to himself at the genius of his gift. At least he felt it was.

"You like it? Say you like it...say it....."

[Deleted]

Her eyes widened a little as she looked at the Bazooka. Her ecpression was akin to when Ralphie finally got that Red Ryder. She let her fingers wander about it as she looked it over in detail. Finally she darted her look to him.

“is this-Is this REAL? I have been asking for one of these FOR YEARS!”

She jumped up and started practicing aiming with it, keeping the safety on. She posed in different holds and positions with it. She also looked super adorable doing it. She played like this for a minute or two before she suddenly stopped, holding the rocket launcher over her shoulder and looking now back at Joker.

“You like trains?”

A pause.

“I already know you like explosions, C’mon!”

She started to scurry off down a hallway, but a few steps in she turned back around and grabbed the whiskey bottle. Once down the hallway she turned her back toward two large oak doors. She pushed them open behind her and raised her arms a bit.

“Welcome to my play pen…”

The room was at least fifty feet by fifty feet. The walls were lines with massive display cases with enough guns displayed to take out the city. Each gun was masterfully displayed with little engraved plates mounted beside them describing them in as much detail as possible. In the middle of the room there was tenty foot by twenty foot table, with various scenery and landscapes throughout it and at least ten different model trains chugging along happily, letting off bits of steam here and there. Aside from that there were other various interesting things including; an antique poker table with blood stains on it, one of those little coin horse machines that you would find infront of a grocery store, another table with a little wooden box on it and a tray on it with various rolling papers and pipes, a rolling clothing rack full of various costume pieces, mostly militaristic and from different time periods and empires, a statue of Sam Houston, a case containing the original lone ranger costume, and off in a corner a wet bar.

She walked over to a central spot on the train table and pulled out a little box with a button. She handed it to him and pointed out a little black train that would come near in a moment.

“When that train gets just around that bend, press this button.”
She handed him the little box and walked off to go get two whiskey glasses at the wet bar. She got the glasses out and began pouring them each at least three fingers of the bourbon.

[Deleted]

The Joker stepped in and his face lit up like it was Christmas. He let out an awestruck "ooooh" as he looked around without moving. He spun quickly around & looked outside to make sure no one was around and quickly shut the door as if the location of El Dorado had been discovered and only he knew where it was. He whispered selfishly almost a hiss.

"No one else must seeeee. *sniff* Rooster if only I'd met you before Harley... *sniff*"

He spun back around with a huge grin.

"I'd be sane by now and what fun is that?? *aheh!* Now Whaaaat about this button, around the bend you say hmm??"

The train chugged along happily puffing out it's little smoke stack and tiny whistle when it hit the bend.

"Now!"

Joker pressed the button and surround sound speakers erupted a mammoth explosion sound effect as sparks and flame shot up causing the little engine to explode into the sky with it's cargo. The Joker burst out laughing as if it's the funniest thing he'd ever seen. And tried to catch his breath to speak.

"HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHHHAAAAEAEAEHEHEHEEEHEEEEHEEE!!! I imagine that's how it sounded on the West side earlier todayyyyHAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHhhhoooohoooooo"

[Deleted]

Rooster handed him the glass with a grin.

"Pretty damn fun, ain't it? And who is Harley?"

Rooster took a swig of the drink for herself and gazed at the blown up little train. She swirled the glass a bit and headed to the two tables, the poker one and the other with all the rolling papers. She sat at the latter of the two and began rolling a joint after retrieving the green from her little box.

"That poker table is the same one Wild Bill Hickock died on."

Once she was done rolling her smoke she fired it up and stood once again. She offered it to him even though he didn't seem the type.

"Yeah I figured all them blown up buildins was you. You got a little knack for tearin' shut up, don't'cha?"

Rooster took another toke, holding it in before exhaling and then another swig from her glass.

[Deleted]

Suddenly he regretted mentioning her name. He let out a long sigh and dragged himself to the table and took the shot and downed it giving a little cough.

"Oh Harley......she was my shrink. So I drove her crazy!! *heehee* But right now she's locked up in that eeeevil looney bin with that eeeevil ARKHAM. She's my sidekick, my girl, my willing target during target practice."

He growled out the name of Arkham and acted as if he was wringing out a rag and he sneered then leaned back with a smile.

"Nice guy once you get to know him. As far as the boom boom on the West Side...."

He started snapping his fingers.

"..that was me. *snap snap* Someone wanted in on my turf. *snap snap* So I blew him to smithareens. *snap snap* HeeeeHHHAAHhahahahahaahah"

He waved off the smoke with a frown.

"It makes me see things.....well more than I already do. *ahee*"

[Deleted]

"Wow, turned a shrink? Impressive. I once scared a cartel leader so much I made him mess himself for days in his cell."

Rooster laughed. She also now realized the nature of his earlier comment. Had he met Rooster first he would have tried to turn her into his little psychotic mate. It wouldn't have worked on Rooster, but at least he was interesting.

She just shook her head at the talk of his explosions. She didn't approve of it, it was terrible to see on the news, but was he really capable of anything less than a spectacle of crime. She honestly wasn't capable of anything less than a spectacle of law enforcement, when she was enforcing.

"Mmm, well, I don't think you'n'me'll have any turf issues. You see... I'm a bit of a boss."

She knew he was smart enough to catch her drift. She participated in organized crime, but not in the way he knew it.

"Y'see here, you know who Jack Ruby was? He was the man that shot Harvey Lee Oswald. He was also a club owner, like myself and connected to organized, eh, shenanigans, like myself."

Rooster smirked and took another drink and another toke again. She was about half way through the join and decided to put it out, opting for a cuban cigar now. She did offer him a cigar.

"But y'see, I'm not organizing crime for personal gain, I organize it to fight off the rest of it. These gentlemen that are running these families and organizations here in Gotham are in my cross hairs, Mista Joker, and I don't ever miss my targets."

She smiled to him. They may fight on opposite ends, but was it so wrong to have a drink, a smoke, and a laugh with a man that she would be working directly against. Close enemies are the most fun enemies.

[Deleted]

He opened his mouth about to speak, and was about to let her in on his plan but since it involved 2 crime bosses she'd love to remove from the game he shut it quickly and gave her a displeased growl took another shot from his drink and did it again.

"But, Beretta.....my side of the fence is so much more fun. Real trains blowing up!Making those less fortunate to be sane run for their lives. HAAhahha oh the expressions.... "help me! help me!" then the look on their faces when comes the ka-BOOOOOOM! heeheeheehooooo It's priceless."

He looks around and smiles like a child again, "I wanna shoot THIS!" He dashes over to a large .50 cal automatic and gets real close to it almost touching it but afraid, "preeeeettyyyy" He spun around stomping his feet excitedly looking at her.

[Deleted]

"I think I understand, but isn't it more fun for you when you got someone as resourceful and explosive as I am on the other side of fence trying to sink your battlship?"

Rooster let out a low chuckle, nearly an evil laugh, but much more subtle. She smirked at his admiration of the 50 caliber.

"I have a shooting range in the basement, but first, you have to see the rest of my little home."

Rooster would quickly take him through. He'd already seen her living room, of course. She also had a smoking den, a personal gym, at least three bed room, a few other ridiculous rooms, and a bathroom that was likely the old gym for the building. There was a nicely sized pool, heated, and little model ships and mini canons everywhere. She showed him how to control the ships and destroy each other with them. Within about fifteen minutes they were down in in the second sub basement with her new rocket launcher, the fifty cal, and there were also other weapons down there, including a functioning canon.

"Well... Aren't you a lucky boy to get to play games with me, eh?"


At the other end of the range were several choices of target, including a card board cut out of him that looks like it had already been through the ringer.