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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2014 15:49:14 GMT -5
Realizations don't cure problems, but they are the first step in that process. Nothing can be done until you're aware that a problem exists, after all. But after that is all the work of discovering how to solve the problem and then actually doing it. Sometimes coming to the realization is the hardest part, though, yet sometimes it's only the beginning. She nods in agreement to his words, pausing to sip her smoothie. Because, yes, few people ever get married thinking that it will end, and yet that's the fate of so many marriages these days. And yes, that results in memories that can't be forgotten, but those memories can't be allowed to get in your way either.
She nods and smiles as he speaks of the new - looking forward is certainly far better than looking back in these situations. "Yes, we have so much time. And all of it holding much more wisdom than we had when we were children, teenagers, even young adults - there's every reason to assume that the best of our lives is yet to come. There's more than enough time to find something better than whatever we may have lost in the past. To assume otherwise is to give up on the rest of your life when you're not even halfway through," she points out, "We just need to be open to that possibility."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2014 17:12:26 GMT -5
Her words are spoken from a a place of serenity he wishes he could attain. And while he strives to fight whatever demons or memories cling to his heart daily, he also welcomes their cloying deception.
"But we lose that wide-eyed hope as well, as we learn, hurt, and grow. We become skeptics. Or we forge ahead thinking we are fully whole when in turn we have only worked to forget but not to forgive. Perhaps I am still not ok with our parting. Nor with how it ended. That is something I will have to reason out in my own time I am thinking." And it's true. Only he can move past such hurts. If it's with another woman at his side, or even in his bed, it will still be his problem and dually so. There will be a woman in his arms, and one still in his heart and even more problems if the one in his arms starts to stake a claim.
"Enough philosophizing for the day. Tell me more of your life with your Nathaniel. You work together, but how do you keep your sense of self? I see you visit the gym but what are other venues to investigate in this new to me city?" He'd rather be done talking about his past. As she said he should be living in the present rather than revisit the already lived past.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2014 5:59:34 GMT -5
Iris nods easily to his words, as it's all perfectly true. She's well aware that her words make it all sound so easy when it's really quite difficult. And on top of it, some of it is easy for her, but that's only because her main hobby for years has been understanding her own mind and in a way studying herself. And since she knows herself very well now, that allows her to work within her own mind with a lot more ease than most people, though that doesn't mean that everything is easy - some things are simply not quite as difficult, and others are just as hard for her as anyone. It's relatively easy for her to accept the past, but keeping it from interfering with the present is a constant battle.
"It's a grieving process - the loss of a marriage. And working through it is as individual as the people involved. But the important thing is to not give up the struggle of discovering what it is that you need - to always be looking for something that helps. Otherwise you get stuck," she comments, and she rather suspects that he is, or at least he has been at points. She'd have to get to know him much better before she could know whether it's that or that he's simply inching along, and she wouldn't judge him harshly if it's the latter - and the former is simply unhealthy.
She smiles and sips her smoothie as he shifts the topic of conversation - she hardly minds. Knowing that she can't turn off her therapist instincts, she's also very aware that talking at that level is kind of intense for a lot of people so she'll let them steer her away from themselves when they've had enough. Especially if the new topic is herself - who doesn't like talking about themselves? "Actually, I only go to the gym when I need a run and the weather is bad - normally I exercise at home. Yoga for the body, meditation for the mind. I run when that's not enough," she explains - she's one to take extremely good care of herself. All the better to help others! "And actually, I'm a bit of a connoisseur of small, independent restaurants - if you want, I could steer you toward some of my favorites," she says with a smile.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2014 2:28:45 GMT -5
While what she starts to discuss is not exactly her and her boyfriend's lives, it's something else. Not that he doesn't mind discussing his own life, but in reality? He's here to learn about Gotham, from those that live there already. So he sips on his own drink quite content to see that it has melted somewhat and is not as thick. And nods to her words as she is dully correct. He cannot disagree with her on that.
"I agree. The loss of anything requires a mourning period, among the rest of the stages in the process." He is familiar with it, after seeing his own therapist at home for a period of time. "I am a man of action myself. I found pushing goals in my career is what helped me, somewhat. But even then, I find myself missing her. And it's never a huge glaring event, but in the intricacies of a moment. But I have found myself stuck at times, and in those times, I make a very lengthy call to Charod. My therapist. I pay him well to take my calls when necessary, no matter my location. I travel frequently." He nods, watching Iris as he relays his story. He leaves out that he travels for work, but also partially for happenstance. Perhaps he would cross paths one day and truly find out why she left. Or maybe he's delusional to a degree.
"I prefer walking in the city, or bicycling than taking a vehicle. If I can run the city, I would. But this snow is making it difficult. This gym was referred by the concierge at the hotel. Otherwise I indulge in swimming, Parkour, rock climbing. There is very little I haven't done." He is quiet for a moment to gather his thoughts.
"She was quite the athlete. I would not bring this up if you had not mentioned yoga. We were never early risers. But if the sun were up, so would she be, going through her routine with diligence. She said it kept her focused. Grounded. And she needed it; her head was always in the clouds, she was always reaching for that right beyond her fingertips." Turning those cool blue eyes up to her he nods as he switches topics and near seamlessly takes her up on her offer.
"I'm all for supporting small businesses instead of chains. If you have a pen, or want to just text me the locations, after we discuss them, I'd appreciate it." He offers a grin at her as he pays attention to what she has to say next. Not only can he indulge in great food, but he can see how many of the locations would want to carry his vintages as well. His work is never straying too far. Purposeful in his providence.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2014 9:01:51 GMT -5
When Marc mentions his therapist, Iris smiles and nods, looking pleased with that. Even on an on-call basis, she'd peg Marc as someone who needs a therapist. Not because she thinks that he's crazy or anything that extreme, but he is clearly dealing with some issues that are lingering and aren't going away over time on their own. There's a lot of people who seem to prefer to try to ignore such problems as a fact of their lives instead of being willing to try and take care of it with the aid someone who is trained in such things. The world would be a much better place if people simply viewed seeing a therapist with the same lens that they use when visiting a medical doctor - everyone has to do so sometime and there's no real shame in that.
She can't help but smile as Marc explains his various athletic hobbies, most of them currently rendered difficult or impossible thanks to the winter weather. "Given the sheer number of people in this city, and the number that seem to like alternative athletics, I'd imagine there's indoor facilities for many - the trick would be finding them," she comments helpfully, as sometimes it simply takes the nudge of knowing that you're likely to find something in order to eventually find it. Though her guess that there would be enough of a following of things like parkour is based on the number of people running around in masks that seem to know that skill, there probably really is a nice indoor facility for practicing it somewhere in Gotham.
She wouldn't know directly, though - she's always considered herself to be more 'fit' than 'athletic'. Her core strength, flexibility, and sense of balance are all above average, but she sees no reason why she needs to do anything with that. For her it's all about simply being healthy, because an unhealthy body leads to an unhealthy mind, and she's all about keeping her mind healthy. It's important to keep grounded - something that his ex-wife seems to have known as well. "You still love her," she comments quietly. A statement at this point, not a question. Though it's something she says rather neutrally - it's not a good or bad thing, it simply is.
Her forehead wrinkles a little as she realizes, "I don't have a pen - but I don't mind texting." Pulling out her phone, she realizes that she hasn't been getting any new messages from Nathaniel - she'll take that as a good sign though. Hopefully it means that something more interesting is happening at work. But not too interesting - that does happen at the asylum. "If I can get your number, I'll put it in my phone and text you later - it's just as well that will give me a chance to double check addresses," she says, as she's the type of person to navigate more by landmarks. Of course, that would also give him her number, but that doesn't bother her. They may have just met, but he doesn't seem to be anywhere near the type of person you'd worry about giving your number to.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2014 17:10:14 GMT -5
"That is where I am hoping to find something. It is just I am old-fashioned in some ways. I would rather speak and meet with a person, rather than go the route of using a phone, or Google to track it down. In some cases that is fantastic but when in a new town it is more profitable to seek out those that live in the city rather than trust in electronics than never experience and taste the city, only record it's locales."
As Iris speaks aloud a statement, Marc already as a pen at the ready, his card from his wallet in the other as he has moved past what she had said with little to no acknowledgement. But he is circling one number, and scribbling another to the card before offering it to her. "No rush, Iris. Today has given me a new gym, and place to seek out refreshment. That in itself is a start for me."
Fussing with his phone as he checks it, he finally comes around to what she had said. Does he still love his Sia? Even as he frames it that specifically, he does. The woman was a near equal, he'd claim. Beautiful, educated, athletic. Coy. Passionate. Seeking. "I do." He offers, finally meeting the therapists' eyes. A piece of paper dissolving their marriage was just that, a piece of paper. In his heart he still cares for her, despite not knowing where she is. He wishes her all the good he can, but there is always the lingering question in his mind. He's aware of why she left. But where?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2014 2:44:30 GMT -5
As Marc explains being 'old-fashioned', Iris gives him an odd look. "If you ask me, life is already difficult enough without going out of your way to make it even more difficult. Yes, you could find people who know where the place is first. Or you could meet the same people there after you let electronics guide you there. The only real difference in the end is which method is faster and leaves you with more time for something else," she says easily, as she actually happens to have a surprisingly strong opinion on that subject. Just because she's about as laid-back and relaxed as a person can be in the situations she finds herself in doesn't mean that she doesn't think that technology has its uses.
And one of them she puts to use immediately - when she accepts his card she immediately adds him to her phone. She'll hang onto the card too, but it's likely to end up put away somewhere she won't look at again. After she also quickly types in a quick note onto her to-do list to text Marc later - otherwise she's bound to forget - she tucks both her phone and his card away again. Even as she does so, she responds to his two word acknowledgment of her previous statement by simply saying, "There's nothing wrong with that." Perfectly normal, in fact, since he's not the one who ended the relationship, even though many are loathe to admit it. Actually, she'll admit that a part of her still loves her ex-husband. A very, very small part of her, easily overpowered by the part of her that never wants to see him again, but it still exists and she'll admit that to herself.
"You don't even have to give that up, if you don't want to. You only need to remember that a person can be in love with more than one person at once, no matter what the fairy tales lead you to believe, and be open to other opportunities," she says, sipping her smoothie before adding, "Hmm, but I should be going - if I linger here for too much longer, I won't be finished with everything before Nathaniel gets home from work." Which, in spite of that fact that he'd forgive her, she doesn't want to do. And with that thought in her mind, she starts pulling out her gloves. She still has some smoothie left, but she ought to be able to finish it as she walks.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2014 18:41:49 GMT -5
He is confused by what Iris is saying. "But is it not about the journey, and not only the destination? I find that when I do meet people, each and every one has a story or something to learn. So to get a recommendation is easier, and getting to know the person is more important than per se, finding out a good place to eat at. Take for instance us. I would prefer to get to know you, than to only get a good dinner restaurant. And you and I speaking together I do not perceive it as an inconvenient, difficult thing. Unless I am keeping you from some other engagement. In that case, an apology is in order."
He raises a brow before adding, "But I agree, technology does has it's benefits and boons. I just think humanity has strayed a bit in it's interpersonal skills. Which is why I do love my job so much." And mostly because it does bring people together more often than it doesn't.
He is slightly taken aback that she isn't spouting off that he needs to 'move on and get over her.' He's heard enough of that to want to pop off the next person that states it. He nods and returns to his drink as she speaks, partially quieted in the fact she has been down this route and can understand it.
He takes her words to heart, nearly finishing his own drink as she mentions she has other engagements to attend to. Leaving his drink he stands and smiles, offering his hand to her. "I don't want to take up much more of your time. Especially if it includes time with your boyfriend. But I must thank you Iris for your time, your instruction, and your kindness to a newcomer. And I may even see you for more professional dealings as well. Take care in the rest of your day, and give my regards to your paramour." He smiles and sits after she has left, fussing with his phone for a while until he finishes his own drink.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2014 4:11:43 GMT -5
Smiling a little as he explains his own philosophy on the matter, Iris smiles as she clarifies her own - they're not mutually incompatible ideals, after all. "Ah, but there's a difference between enjoying the journey and intentionally choosing the harder way. Either way there's going to be a journey, either way you can can enjoy it. But when you choose a destination, surely you ought to be choosing one that you believe you will enjoy - something that you're more likely to enjoy than the journey itself. While it may turn out that the journey was the better part, the likelihood of that is low, so it's better to actually get there sooner rather than later so you can enjoy your destination longer. There's nothing wrong with being efficient," she says, once again stating her opinion rather easily. But she finishes with a shrug, silently indicating that she's not so impassioned by her opinion that she's going to try too hard to convince him. He strikes her as the type that enjoys making things harder for himself - an idea completely foreign to her own thinking.
But there's a difference between her opinions, strong as they may be, and things that she knows are the absolute truth. And what she said about continuing to love your ex is certainly one of the latter - everyone always seems to think that one must completely give up a person to find another, but that's not completely true. It takes other things, like acceptance that the relationship is over, but one can still hang onto fond feelings and memories as long as they don't get in the way of the present - which is a good thing, because frankly some of those are outright impossible to give up anyway.
She can't help but smile when he politely offers his hand to her again - he's so polite! Finished with her glove, she shakes his hand and says, "You're welcome! It was a pleasure to meet you, and I certainly wouldn't mind a repeat. And thank you, I will!" Because would she tell Nathaniel that she met a handsome man at the gym and they went out for smoothies? Sure, why not? It's not like he doesn't know where her heart is and that such an instance is nothing to worry about - she only has eyes for her man. "Good luck on your journeys," she says with a warm smile in farewell as she collects her nearly empty smoothie cup and heads back into the blustery winter weather.
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