The Troubador: Grand Opening

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It hadn't taken the lady very long to get her business together.  She was just one of those people that didn't take too long getting things started and going.  Her five story property was three stories of big bad club and the top two stories were her own living space.  The basement and sub basement were stock and storage.  She had already managed to get a nice number of employees.  There were always plenty of college students at Gotham State looking for work.

Rooster had managed to gather up some musicians to her liking.  They knew how to play some mean Texas style tunes and she couldn't have been happier. 

The drinks flowed, the smiles never ceased, and before the night was over there would likely be at least one or two fist fights.  It wasn't a good place unless she ended up with at least decent brawl by the end of the night.  She walked onto the stage, people applauding and cheering her.  She wore a very fine old school western suit, rhinestones and all.  Her eye patch was even bedazzled just a touch.

"Well, now, I hope everyone is havin' a good ol' time tonight."

A cheer passed through the crowd.  She smirked.

"Nah, that ain't what I want'a hear.  EVERYONE BEEN HAVIN' A GOOD ASSED TIME TONIGHT?"

A bigger cheer passed through them.  She gave them an astute nod.

"Now, tha's more like it, y'all.  Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank y'all this e'nin' for comin' on down and helpin' us get the doors on this place busted down right.  So I won't be standin' up here and talkin' your ear off, though I sure could-"

A wave of laughter.

"However, I will help this ol' band here get some musicin' done right now."

Someone handed Rooster a guitar and she strummed it a bit before she began tearing into it.  The lighting got really busy and the rhinestones on her suit gleamed and glinted in it.  The young man at the microphone sang on point with the song and Rooster joined him in place of Buck Owens. 

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The window leading outside exploded sending shards of glass spraying everywhere. The patrons nearby were trampled by what appeared to be a large metallic bull. It's eyes glowed red and steam erupted from it's nostrils which bore a huge brass ring piercing its nose.

As the dust settled, what appeared to be a rodeo clown sat straddling the robotic steer. The clown was laughing uncontrollably as he motioned behind him. Several men dressed up as bronco cowboys sporting classic colt revolvers entered and started stripping the crowd of their valuables.

Once the bull rider gathered his senses he took a deep breath and gave an enormous grin.

"We wanna welcome...uh yawwwwwl to this here grand openin' and we thought we'd give it a proper Gotham "How do" with a good ol' fashioned stick up. *heeheeeHAHA* So....folks, if yawwwwl be kind enough ta give these here fellers yer valuables no one'll get hurt....er."

He looked down at those who were maimed by the entrance some writhing in pain from cuts and being stomped on, some didn't move at all.

"Well....no one else at any rate. HAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA"

He slid off the bull and looked to Rooster as he recognized her from the television ad. He tipped his cowboy hat to her.

"Evenin' Ma'am. I do appreciate yer hospitality. Where can a feller get a sarsaparilla?"

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Rooster watched at the scene unfolded. People lay maimed and perhaps some even dead at this point after being trampled by one hell of a mechanical bull. The music had stopped just after the glass shattered and Rooster had motioned to someone behind the bar. They tossed her shotgun up to her. She pumped it and had it in her arms, pointed cautiously at the new party guest.

"Take what you want, but don't hurt nobody else."

Rooster lowered the weapon. She knew when to show a little good faith. She's also heard of this guy before. He apparently liked a good joke, and Rooster had a million of 'em.

"Pour the man a drink, Bobby, pour me one, too."

Many of the patrons had managed to escape, save a few who were were laying on the floor now. The bartender quickly poured up a drink and a waitress was quick to take it to the Joker and then Rooster as well.

Rooster raised her glass to the mad man.

"Your reputation precedes you, Mista Joker. I hear you tell one hell of a joke, but not many people got a good laugh to offer to you. Perhaps you'd like to hear one of mine?"

Rooster spoke to him as if he was an expected guess. Her charm was flawless and well executed. She even offered him a smile. She was a woman with enough balls to hang 'em on her wall like trophies.

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Well this was unexpected. His goons stopped in mid robber and looked to him. The Joker looked at her silently with a look of surprise and looked at the glass then back at her. He cleared his throat and gingerly took the glass and then to his goons.

"What're you looking at? She said take what we want....."

He pointed at a chair that had been turned over.

"That...that chair! I want that chair and the table! Take the table!"

He tilted his hat back and leaned against the shoulder of his bull and sniffed his drink, sticking his tongue lapping it up a little to get a taste. He smacked his lips analyzing the drink then shrugged and took a drink. He eyed the woman up and down giving a sideways smirk and raised his brow.

"You have me a joke pretty lady? I love a good joke."

He downed the rest of his drink and gave a cough stomping his foot.

*haaaack kakkakkakkakkkk* "Smooth."

As if a sudden recover he went back to leaning against his bull.

"I also hate a bad joke. So it better be good."

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Rooster smiled finally, throwing the sling of her shotgun over her, allowing it to rest on her back.

"What'd'ya call a one eyed Rooster?"

After his inevitiable response she did quick draw with her colt .45 and shot the two men standing on each side of him and his mechanical bull, making sure to let the bullets get close enough to Joker himself to get across to him how accurate a marksman she was. She shot one in the left eye and the other in the right eye.

"Cock eyed."

Rooster couldn't help but grin at her grim little joke. She figured killing at least two of his men would not only be advantageous to her, but also, given his reputation, a welcome punch line, she hoped.

Rooster raised her hat and gave a bow. She hadn't lost her mind, she just knew how to play for her audience. Her guitar still strapped over her shoulders and resting against her hip at this point.

"I don't believe I have introduced myself, my esteemed guest. I am Beretta Blaze Stone, but most people call me Rooster."

She pointed to the eye patch.

God help him if he ain't a John Wayne fan.

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The Joker's chaps fluttered as the bullets tore through the leather but missed him. Not flinching, he slowly looked over his shoulder at the goons and burst out laughing immediately. He examined his chaps and laughed even harder sticking a finger through one of the holes dancing a little jig as he giggled.

Once he calmed down he motioned to his remaining goons who took their haul out, along with the table and chair he wanted, and backed the van up apparently to load the bull.

"I have to say that was original....Rooster. I think I may like you."

He walked over to the bar and scanned the stash of bottles tossing unwanted ones over his shoulder smashing them on the floor.

"I do have a joke for if you're interested in hearing it....ah here it is!"

He took his bottle of sarsaparilla and walked back to Rooster and the bull taking a swig of the drink smacking his lips again.

"Oh....that's good."

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Rooster put her pistol back away, but kept alert and cautious. There was no telling what his next move might be, but she would be as ready as she could be. The shot gun was still across her back.

"I'm a hard woman not to like."

She considered his question. She crossed her arms and looked at him with her good eye.

"I might regret it, but I think I would."

At this point everyone alive in the building had managed to get out. The only ones left were the quick and the dead.

"Of course its good, I don't serve anything that ain't, hoss."

She remained at the ready. It was a gamble to hear his 'joke', but Rooster liked to think she was a bit of a gamblin' man. Despite all the commotion her fine western suit remained unscathed. She was a little surprised she hadn't gotten any blood on it yet. She had quite a habit of getting blood on her clothes, fortunately for her, it was usually never her own blood.

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He took a long swig from the bottle and looked to make sure the van was nearby, his trademark smile came to his lips as he turned back around to Rooster. A glint in his eye would tell her immediately that was the wrong answer. He noted that she had bought the crowd enough time to get away and that meant the body count would be at a minimum and he hated that, no he despised it and took it personally.

He was also a bit surprised there were no bat brats around or even the Bat himself. He would have to take a closer look at the grapevine and find out what the dark Knight was up to these days. Yes he was in Arkham far too long this time and his trigger finger was itchy.

He took a deep breath and dropped the bottle. It shattered at her feet and he took a couple steps away from her.

"It has a nasty after taste. *ahehehh* Ah, my joke Y'see my jokes have a little story."

He spun around excitedly.

"ONCE! Upon a time there was a bull. He was no mere ordinary bull. He was a bull built by the gods...." His fingers spread wide and he moved his hands apart as if to mimic magic.

"The gods....now they were upset with man, for a stranger had come into the most darkest city of the world and attempted to shine light upon it to make it...."fun."" He wiggled his fingers at the word.

"So to pay homage to the stranger they placed their creation at the doorstep of the brightly lit up establishment as a....gift I suppose you could say, and LO and BEHOLD!!! Here it is. The gods sent their messenger *hee* that would be moi. They tasked the messenger to propose a question to the stranger."

"So stranger, I must ask. What do you call a ticking bull? Ferdinand: China SHOP!"

The bull roared to life and began thrashing wildly in the night club leaping to the center smashing everything within it's reach. A faint "tick tuck twang" could be heard and it grew louder and much faster.

"Toodles!"

He dashed towards the van to make his escape. If able, he would dive into the back and they would speed off.

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Rooster threw her shotgun with her shoulder and  it landed in position, she started shooting at anyone she could as the goons and their master began high tailing it. Between pumps she heard the ticking and the tocking it was putting off.

Without a moment of hesitation she ran over to the bar and pulled a rope off of it. She managed to lasso the mechanical beast by its horns. She looped the rope around a pulley on a wall nearby and used it to begin pulling the rope. She secured it to to a metal beam. She grabbed another rope and got it again at its hind quarters. She did the same, securing it at an opposite end of the room.

She managed to get it as still as it could and mechanics of it were starting to wear. He didn't even oil it, thank god.

She pulled a bat off a wall and managed to knock one of its panels loose.

No way in hell this sunnabitch is blowin' me OR my club up.

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Buckshot rand inside the van ricocheting off everything. Just about everyone got hit by something. the Joker got a flesh wound on the shoulder and he scowled.

"Get us out of here, Stanley!! That lady's nuts!"

He smirked at his comment and chuckled then began laughing louder as they drove off.

The bull fought against the ropes and her beating of the panel knocked it away just in time for her to see the timer ping down to "2...1....Boom"

A small explosion from the bull released fireworks and confetti a warped recording of The Joker singing "Welcome to Gotham" began playing.

If she was close enough the explosion and fireworks would have caused some damage to her including the fact that fireworks were going off indoors and likely to begin a fire.

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Rooster stopped, expecting to get blown to bits, but before she had any time to turn and run it went off.

Playing a stupid song.

In an unchecked, pure, and infinite rage Rooster began beating the mechanical bull to pieces. About a minute after the distant sound of sirens could be heard. As the next minute waded on forward into time the sirens bled more and more into her ears.

Rooster was concerned with beating the bull to a little oily pulp, but alas, it was built tough and well, though she did manage to at least alter the sound of his idiot voice singing that idiot song. Finally she threw the bat down and looked to the heavens.

"IMMA KILL THAT MOTHER [-------------CENSORED BECAUSE THIS IS EXPLICIT---------]"