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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Jul 26, 2012 17:59:30 GMT -5
The problem with this particular lesson is that Heather simply can't accept what he's saying. The idea of not being able to trust Jon is too distasteful of an idea for her to hang onto it. She'd rather assume that she can and then find out the hard way that she can't than try to figure out how to cope with feeling the way she does about someone she doesn't trust. Very hard issue, that. And of course she'll not consider trying to change her feelings for him. Yet even though failing to catch her is easily seen as a betrayal of trust, she's not so angry that she doesn't notice that he's trying to teach her something by it - cruel as it is, he actually seems to mean well. Even if he was a stupid jerk to do it.
But though he can happily go on with his life feeling able to rely entirely on himself, she's certainly not that way. In so many ways she is so weak - how could she rely on someone like herself? True, she has some strengths, but she's lacking in so many other areas that she's definitely not willing to cut away all bonds of trust like he has - learning to fight may help a bit, but won't solve that problem. She'd be willing to accept the idea of forgetting about everyone else, but telling her to not trust him is asking for too much. She just plain needs something she can hang onto.
Yet like she said, she doesn't want to argue about it. Which is why she said so and is now so eager to move onto learning something else. And there's a slight spark of amusement in her eyes at his words. Hit him because she's angry? She'd be happy to! Though she recognizes instantly just how unlikely that is. Still, he's right if he thinks that her anger is enough motivation for her to give it a solid try, if only because if there's any vague chance that she could actually succeed, she knows just how immensely satisfied that would make her feel. Which is also why she's definitely not planning on holding back even a little bit - he deserves it, and if she can actually give it to him then he deserves it even more.
As he settles into position, she steps forward just a little and sidesteps while eying him carefully. She may be a complete novice at reading an opponent, but she knows that she's horribly outclassed in trying to hit him so her only hope is probably by trying something at least a little tricky and that means a little forethought. But, trying to keep her balance at least somewhat in mind, she suddenly steps forward and takes a swing at his chest with her left arm. But that move is a feint and stops short when she suddenly ducks down and swings her right hand toward his stomach. Yet she anticipated that he'd expect the first feint, so this second move also stops short when she shifts her weight to the right so that she can kick at his shin with her left foot. And she hopes that takes it further than he expected, as it's a lot easier to do something complicated when you have a moment to think about it first. Then again, her movements are far slower and more awkward in reality than they were in her head.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Jul 31, 2012 19:31:28 GMT -5
VerMillion had faced several challenges in a short amount of time. Her performance on most of them was not up to the standard that Dr. Crane wanted, but rarely did anyone ever impress him. It was rare to meet his expectations for anything. The amount that she had been through in this time already he knew was psychologically trying. The pressure that had been placed and lifted from her he remained aware of but he did expect her to endure. If she didn’t her consequence would be oblivion, through her own fault. What a terrible waste that would be.
Dr. Crane readied himself mentally as she stepped forward toward him. His body was completely calm; it remained entirely loose regardless of whatever move she made. The importance in this was to wait for the strike. A predator will stalk its prey until they find its weakness; let them believe that they have a moment to gain the upper hand or an opportunity to strike on their own. Then when the time was right the predator would show its dominance with strategic intelligence. The predator can feed off of its prey’s fear, regardless of what way they choose to act upon the same incredible emotion. Of course to Dr. Crane it was so much more than that, and as the predator in this case he had no fear….He was fear.
Her movements were similar to the first time she had come at him back at the radio station. She was wielding a pair of scissors as her weapon. He remembered the fear in her eyes so vividly. Just watching the power behind his second most prized creation pouring into her eyes. Seeing her body become more confident as she rushed toward him in an effort to appease herself in the situation. It wasn’t long before the scissors were out of her hand and she was quickly taught a lesson. Apparently the lesson didn’t stay however.
He let her first blow come but noticed again, just like before, she had tried to fake him. Dr. Crane’s memory was sharp and part of learning how to fight someone was anticipating what they were going to do. Just because he was able to anticipate what she was going to do didn’t mean it wasn’t a good move. Suddenly she ducked and her first blow came from the right into his stomach. His muscular definition absorbed most of the blow instantly; he made no move to stop her at all. The punch was rather weak, but she should have expected that. The reason why he made no move to stop her was because in a regular fight with a thug they wouldn’t be quite as trained as him.
It was only when her next movement was made lower that his attention became sharper and his body reacted. Dr. Crane was more fluid with his legs than any other part on his body when it came to fighting. His knee shot up in the instant she kicked for his shin like lightning into a Crane stance. The reflex also followed to immediately grab her sides and hold her in place just in case she tried to make another close move. “Let your fear out?” His head tilted slightly as he asked. Her attempted wasn’t completely horrible, it could have been much worse. He quickly moved his legs down to enter lock with her’s, making it difficult for her to move. His hands grabbed from her sides to her wrists. With a tight pull back of his right arm he threatened to throw her over his shoulder. “You have to learn to use the momentum they give you.”
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Jul 31, 2012 22:42:16 GMT -5
Which her hand actually impacts his stomach, Heather is actually somewhat surprised and pleased with herself - then again, she'd expected him to try and block that. Still, it's her kick that she actually puts her effort behind, and she's somewhat disappointed by just how quickly Jon is able to move his leg when there was a fleeting hope that it could have taken him by surprise - if only in her own mind.
That he stops her by holding her sides doesn't really surprise her, because if he suspects that she'd have kept going if he hadn't then he'd be perfectly right. She's rather irritated with him, after all, and he told her to attack. Though his grip on her sides and especially when he moves his legs to interfere with hers makes further attempts rather difficult. She frowns to herself, looking frustrated at the spot that she's now in.
Though when he moves from holding her sides to her wrists, her expression shifts. It's actually only recently that she's had any extremely bad experiences with feeling trapped: in her booth where she was shot with brave toxin, the fear toxin hallucination, the cell at the asylum, in her bed when she was first kidnapped, and even to a certain extent when she found herself on that mostly vacant road where she met Jon for the first time. But given that she's always been the slow one and the weak one, there's a certain sheer accumulation in her memory of incidents where someone found it so easy to trap her for some unpleasant purpose. For example, there was that day sometime during her early childhood where some of the little boys in the neighborhood thought it would be a laugh to stick a garter snake down her shirt, and they had no problem chasing her down and holding her still while one of them did so. The more recent memories have only made an old problem worse, and it's not one of her fears that the brave toxin helped with.
So though the tug on her wrist that threatens to throw her is noted on some level, it's simply the feeling of having all her limbs unavailable that causes her eyes to suddenly go wide. And though, in spite of the fact that he let her fall a moment ago, she still trusts Jon to a certain degree, the fact that it's Jon holding her this way does not help things much. In fact, her mind is completely not on what he's trying to teach her but trying to fend off a sudden wave of panic that she'd suddenly lost in. She reflexively tugs against his grip on her wrists, though she knows full well that she doesn't have the strength to get him to let go if he doesn't want to. Yet she manages to keep herself from panicking fully, though the emotion is clear in her voice when she says, "Let me go, Jon! Please, let me go!"
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Aug 3, 2012 0:21:52 GMT -5
It wasn’t the first time he had held VerMillion like this. They had several encounters before where she had been bond by his physical ability to hold her. It was always a very different situation depending upon the size of the opponent he was facing. In Gotham it turned out he was on the thinner scale compared to most of the professionals in his field. Though Dr. Crane still remained one of the tallest men. His height didn’t help him as much as muscle mass seemed to help others. Often, he had been thrown into walls, tossed easily into various object and had been beaten rather thoroughly at times. That is why he tried to avoid violence if necessary, it was better to approach things more….Intellectually. Lure the subject into the chair, make them feel comfortable, and then the nightmare begins.
His original plan was to eventually toss her over his shoulder. It would be a lesson to show her just how easily it was done. There were also many techniques she could learn to defend herself while she was up there, aside from the cliché beat the back and yell for them to be put down. There was actually a lot of movement that could happen suspended in the air like that. The more movement that could be exerted the more chances for escape.
Then her eyes widened in front of him. His mind was ripped from where it had laid before in the confines of trying to teach her a lesson. Dr. Crane attention immediately fell to her, but it was more than before. In that moment his posture had changed, but his grip remained and actually tightened as her Iris pulsed. That beauty had been in her eyes before, but he hadn’t seen it of late and at this proximity. From the slight posture change she was no longer about to be thrown over his side, but his fingers curled deeper to her arm, showing no sign of letting go or remotely wanting to.
The desire to keep her in his hold was even more encouraged as she began to tug and pull. There would be no length gained in her desperate attempts to pull him from his ground. Dr. Crane didn’t budge as he gazed into her eyes and his own seemed to fall into a distant world. The feeling was like electricity over his skin, pulsing and pulling through him at the same time it was like a comforting embrace. Everything that could be imagined in a beautiful truth such as this, the only understanding that brought everything in life together at its. He couldn’t feel it in his chest; he was holding it in his hands. The situation couldn’t be described any less than euphoric.
Then she began to beg, she began to beg and plead for her freedom. She wanted to be free? Free from what? This glorious display?....Now why would she ever want that? The word or sense of freedom itself was false…Freedom was such a fallacy. Nothing was ever truly free; even when he was freed from the system this world still found a way to shackle him back into its clutches. He was reminded every time he ended up in a cold cell; he was reminded every time he got a new shipment. The only time that the word’s sense would ever come to pass would be under the sweet embrace of oblivion.
Dr. Crane slowly readjusted his position as she jerked and pulled, his features actually not reacting to it at all beyond a feeling of awe. It was clear he was trying to contain his composure with the moment and gain a small part of himself back to the world that was in front of him, but his mind was far too lost in the world that he saw come through her eyes and into his own.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Aug 3, 2012 1:33:27 GMT -5
When her struggles only result in Jon gripping her that much more firmly, Heather's eyes shift to his as she silently questions why. Can't she see that she doesn't like this? That he's frightening her? Does that not matter to him. Though when she sees the look the he's giving her, she immediately looks away again and somewhat understands what's going on here. She's seen that look on his face before, but generally directed at other people. Nope, he's not about to let go.
And that thought only makes her even more frightened, unsure of this situation that they're suddenly in. She knows that if she could only calm herself down then he's snap out of whatever this is, but that's not about to happen. Indeed, her attempts to free her wrists only escalate with the intensity of her feeling. Her heart begins to race and she feels her breath catching as it tries to keep pace.
But her fear is soon joined by another feeling: anger. She doesn't get why Jon is so obsessed with fear, but she's never minded it. Not when she's not being the one studied anyway - she didn't really enjoy the whole fear toxin experience, but she doesn't really blame him for that because he basically does that to everyone. But this feels different to her - mostly because they've known each other for a lot longer. This feels... personal, especially so soon after he let her fall just a few moment ago for so stupid of a reason.
Unfortunately, she's being physically restrained from acting upon that anger. Wait, no, she does have some limited ability to move... A thought suddenly pops into her head. Which she immediately dismisses as a stupid idea. But it immediately comes back, stronger, as she realizes that she pretty much can't do anything else. And if what happened last time she did it is any indication, it would definitely result in him letting her go. It would be completely fair, even: he's touching her in a way that she does not like, after all.
Acting quickly, before she can talk herself out of it, she suddenly leans forward and attempts to reach his lips with hers. Though if he tries to avoid it, any patch of bare skin she can get to will probably do just fine for her purposes since this is definitely more of a combat strategy this time than an expression of tender feelings. Then again, it isn't exactly not that, given that she could have tried to so something more violent with her ability to move her head if she'd wanted to.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Aug 6, 2012 21:04:19 GMT -5
Held VerMillion rather firmly as she attempted to fight and pull away from him. It wasn’t very difficult to hold her in place, despite how many tugs she had actually made. The reality for the woman was that she was small and fragile, though her personality reflected something quite different. It all came down to the same basis, the one that he was grasping firmly in his hands right now. She was scared, she was always scared. His eyes were sunk back through the moment and his mind was clearly in another world. Through her protest he didn’t utter a sound, not a word was going to leave his lips as she kept performing for him.
Dr. Crane didn’t move a muscle as she made an advance toward his lips. It was as if at first he didn’t notice or just wasn’t there to begin with. His mind wasn’t there or thinking properly, he was far too indulged in the terror that came from her eyes. Trapped in this he made no move to try and avoid the kiss that came. It wasn’t until their lips connected that something finally happened.
His skin pulled tightly as her lips came to his. Every inch of skin around his body began to crawl and reject the unsolicited touch. Dr. Crane had enough problems with people touching him let alone any display of affection. He stood firmly by the fact that he wasn’t frightened of it; it was the principal behind it. It was against everything he had worked for; it went against all of his research. Dr. Crane wasn’t going to participate into something like that. Unfortunately for VerMillion, things would not go over well in this situation. They had spent some time together now but he had zero tolerance toward unwanted affection.
His eye’s suddenly jumped back to life. His pupils dilated for the first time since she had started to tug and pull. Finally his iris found its color again and things were coming back to reality. With this realization of what was going on he turned his head roughly to rip his lips from hers. In the same motion the hands that once gripped her now went to roughly toss her backward. As the motion to push her backward followed through he caught that glimmer in her eyes again and caught her by her wrists again. There was quite a war going on in his mind over what he wanted more, and his obsession was winning over as it always would.
Just as his mind began to war with itself he became very still and very silent again. Dr. Crane almost looked like a deer in the headlights as he remained very conflicted upon what to do. It was just something he wasn’t used to. He tried to keep his mind from flashing back at every moment he stood with her in his hands. Periodically his hands gripped to her arms and then let go. It was clear that there was a psychological conflict going through him that could have easily fallen one way or another at any time.
Slowly his chest started moving again. Had he stopped breathing? The light of the basement came back into his focus and the ambience of the room flowed into his ears. The smell of soil came to his senses from the many failed attempts to grow a certain flower. For the first time his eyes actually shifted their direction now locking in with hers. A dark glare came into them as he opened his mouth to speak. “Are you really so insistent upon oblivion?” His voice was low and threatening. Dr. Crane took a step toward her as he spoke regardless of the already close distance. “Is this really what you want?”
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Aug 6, 2012 22:03:40 GMT -5
Heather is not at all surprised that it takes Jon a moment to react to her, as that happened before. Nor is she surprised by the somewhat violent way in which he breaks that contact, for the same reason. And she'll hardly complain about the way he starts to push her away - that's what she wanted, to be away from him.
Though instead of finding herself landing roughly where she was pushed, she finds herself again in his grip. She gasps in surprise when she finds that she's still very much not free, and she can feel her heart redouble its efforts at that realization. Finding herself having to concentrate hard to think, she only just manages to catch the conflict in his movements. But she doesn't quite know what to make of that - he didn't react the way that she'd hoped and now she wonders if she's done something terrible.
What he says when he finally speaks only multiplies that thought, and also her fear. She finds herself having to concentrate on the simple act of breathing and her reflexive attempt to free herself cease. Instead her whole body starts to shake a little, though she's unaware of it. Her mouth opens to answer his question, though nothing comes out at first. It isn't that the question is all that hard - of course she doesn't want to die! Or at least, she's fairly certain of that. No, the problem is that she doesn't want to simply say 'No' but thinking about anything, especially something as tricky to define as what she wants, is extremely difficult right now.
But after a long moment she takes a shaky breath, and she suddenly feels a few tears starting to run down her face as her eyes overflow. "Y-you won't l-let me go," she suddenly blurts out, "W-why, Jon?" She can't get herself to look at his face at the moment, and probably couldn't really see him even if she did with her eyes welling up like this, but she forces herself to at least turn somewhat closer to him. "W-what do you w-want from m-me?" she asks, her voice begging him to answer.
She's not sure how they suddenly ended up in this situation, and though she's become familiar with seeing him in this strange mood he gets into when he's around fear, she hardly understands it. About all she knows for sure is that it would be wonderful if she could stop being afraid right now, but that's impossible for her at this point. And because she can't do that, she can't think of anything else she can do. She tried the one other thing that she could think of, and that seemed to only make it worse.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Aug 7, 2012 13:11:54 GMT -5
Her words were still stammered and frightened as he asked her these questions. He didn’t expect any different of her after what had just happened, she must have been losing her mind to thin she’d get away with that. It wasn’t until he saw the first tear roll down her check that his posture changed again into a more relaxed drop. She hadn’t kissed him out of spite; it had been out of desperation for the situation. It wasn’t the first time her had seen her cry when she was scared, but it was the first he had seen it in some time.
In that moment he took a step forward and reached out his hand to her face to catch one of the tears with his thumb. Her display has been absolutely beautiful; she didn’t need to be ashamed of it. Only Dr. Crane would ever see it that way and he never expected her to ever be able to do the same. His thumb felt odd rolling across her cheek like it was a gesture he didn’t perform often. To do so was showing a secondary which humans called ‘compassion’. There was no compassion here, not for her and not for anyone. No, Dr. Crane held her here for his own purposes, and the tears being wiped away were simply to get a better look at what he had created.
It was true that he wasn’t letting her go in either sense of the word. He had held her within his confines the entire time they were down here. If she was speaking about letting her go all together, of course he wasn’t. VerMillion was far more important to him than she could understand for several reasons. She would probably enjoy hearing most of them but he wouldn’t even begin to tell her. Not at this point in time at least. Everything can come with patience and study. She will be alright in the dark until then. Besides…she looked so much better when she was frightened.
Her begging him through a constant flow of tears was perplexing to him. It wasn’t like all the other times from his patients; something about it just didn’t feel the same. Instead of getting enjoyment out of the situation it was almost annoying, to the point that it was bothering him that she continued to cry. This was something new entirely because normally the begging would have only fed into his obsession over her fears.
Dr. Crane took a deep breath and relaxed his threatening posture he held before. He replaced it with calm and collected stature, trying to lean slightly down toward her level. “You want to be free?” He asked her quite seriously. She would probably understand in what sense that he meant the word free, but she could take it as she wished. Finally Dr. Crane let go of the arm he had been hanging onto but kept one hand to her cheek to keep her steady. She could pull away and gain her fallacy of freedom any time she wished. "But before you answer that. You asked me a question didn't you?" He paused for a moment thinking it over to himself. "You already provide me with what I want by just being here. As long as you stay and continuously do as I say..." The finished with a nos, speaking in a calmer tone now than before.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Aug 7, 2012 15:15:32 GMT -5
Suddenly feeling a hand on her cheek, Heather sees the change in Jon's movements and can't help but sob softly in a bit of relief that it seems like the situation is easing off now. She'd felt as if she was on the verge of something terrible, but now maybe it will be okay? Taking the opportunity to do so, she brings the arm he released to hold it against herself, as if reclaiming possession of it, even if he could probably grab it again easily. But even on that alone, she finds her fear fading quite quickly - having an arm available now that she didn't have before makes her feel significantly less trapped.
And the question that he asks her now causes her to try to blink away her tears so that she can look at him properly, as she caught the full meaning of his question. The answer to which she'd thought that she'd made perfectly clear on a previous occasion, even if the manner in which it happened was rather... different. Of course, it's so easy for Heather to forget that Jon is still a guy, and she's familiar with guys not being so quick to put the pieces together sometimes. Actually, she ought to be expecting Jon to be worse than average at that in some ways.
Before she can consider how to actually answer the question though, her other arm is released and he's saying more. She brings that arm alongside the other one, but doesn't move away. Partly because he's touching her cheek and she definitely doesn't want to pull away from that, but also partly because it was never how close he was standing that scared her in the first place - it was entirely how he'd been holding her and the fact that he didn't let go when asked. And she's also quite aware in the physical sense that Jon could easily change his mind and grab her again - moving away would merely make it take him a bit longer.
And she actually enjoys being close to him, at least since he generally doesn't like it when she actually touches him. But she frowns a little at his answer to her question, because it's not an answer to the question that she asked and it's also not an adequate answer to the question he's answering instead. She'd only meant to ask what she needed to do to get him to let go. And what he'd said was a lot more vague than she would have wanted as an answer to why she's here - but she didn't expect a specific answer to that question and therefore hadn't asked.
There's a pause as she both tries to sort through the confused muddle of her current thoughts and tries to pull a sufficient answer to his question out of it. "I-I just wanted you to l-let go, Jon," she says, still sounding a bit shaken but much steadier than before and quickly getting stronger, "I don't want to go anywhere else - I can't think of anywhere else I'd want to be. I like being here with you... most of the time." A few moments ago, not so much. But in general? No, she doesn't want to leave. Not that she finds these surroundings so great, but other places wouldn't have Jon - he's the real selling point. The rest she can cope with.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Aug 8, 2012 7:01:57 GMT -5
Slowly Dr. Crane was becoming more and more away of just how gentle his touch was. Of course he had meant it to be, but what he wasn’t counting on was how she might take it in the process. It wasn’t an invitation of any sorts for her to feel comfortable. In fact that was the last thing he wanted…Was it? He had just attempted to calm her down. The thought in his mind nearly gave him a headache. Everything was so conflicting in this moment. It was that kiss…This seductress trying to throw him out of what was really real.
It was true that even through his years of study and his understanding of the mind it was difficult for him to grasp affection when it came to reacting to it. Mostly because it was something that could only be gained from experience, and his experiences hadn’t been good. Still he had vast knowledge of how they worked and exactly what was supposed to happen between a male and a female affectionately. Yes he had an understanding of how affection worked in the mind and the exact chemical reactions that it made. He had studied deeply into it when working with the psyche itself, but when it came to actual experience. He didn’t have it.
As she spoke the reasons as to why she was pulling away became clearer. Her fear for the situation was what was causing her to react the way she had. He wouldn’t have had it any other way. Dr. Crane could have replayed that reaction over and over again. ‘I like being here with you’ those words had trouble registering in his mind. What was worse was that they sounded completely genuine as they left her mouth. Before the thought got too prominent he shook it off and dropped any and all feeling about it all together. A woman interested in him….He was the Scarecrow, he was fear incarnate, and he was the nightmare. No one would care for him because it wasn’t possible for them to care for him.
They were really getting off track. Dr. Crane took a step back from her and adjusted himself. Her personality and demeanor of stone came back immediately as it had so many times before. They needed to focus back on the lesson that he was here to teach her or break from it entirely. “I don’t recommend kissing your opponent.” Dr. Crane stated dryly as he brought his fingers up to straighten his collar. “Are you able to continue with the lesson?” He asked without actually having any regard for her feelings on the matter. It was more of a push for her to get back into the right direction, but that was made clear with the threatening focus of his eyes.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Aug 8, 2012 9:40:14 GMT -5
When Jon steps away, Heather finds herself having to bite back some sort of complaint about that. But her thoughts are too shaken to make a proper complaint, and she doubt that Jon would listen to it anyway.
She doesn't react at all to his comment on the wisdom of kissing an opponent - she's not about to apologize for that one. If he's not happy with her for doing it, well she's not happy with him for scaring her like that. And it was honestly worth a shot. Even when he said so, she doubts that he'd have actually killed her over it - he has too long of a track record of going out of his way to make sure that she stays alive for her to believe that he'd so easily decide that he needs to kill her himself. She took that threat more as a request on his part not to push him, which had been rather hypocritical of him at the time, actually.
His question, however brings her thoughts more back to the present. Lesson? Oh yeah, he was teaching her how to fight. Is she able to go back to doing that? There's a pause as she ponders the question, before she mumbles, "I'm going to need a minute..." She is, honestly, a rather tough person mentally - she can roll with the punches to her mind if not her body so much. But in this case that means that she's not going to quit just yet if Jon wants to continue, and not that she can carry on immediately without time to recover. She's still holding her arms to herself, though the tears have stopped entirely now.
There's a pause as she tries to collect herself, to at least set aside her troubled thoughts for a better time to ponder them. She doesn't want to sort through them now - it's pretty rare for Jon to take the time to focus his attention on her, after all. Though after a moment, she says, "Jon..." But then she hesitates for a moment, trying to figure out how to say what she wants to ask, before she tries again, "Um, what were you thinking about? When I was scared, I mean. Well, if that's okay for me to ask." Perhaps it would help settle her mind if she knew. Or maybe she's just trying to make the time she needs to pass without it being all quiet.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Aug 17, 2012 20:24:29 GMT -5
Dr. Crane was quite certain how he felt about the kiss and at the same time he wasn’t sure at all. The image kept rolling over and over in his mind as two sides of him warred with each other over it. It was such a mindless thing to think about and irrelevant to his research, with her at least. It served little purpose in his grand scheme of things. Aside from minor details she was still completely in the dark about all of his plans, including why she was here.
Yes, teaching her a form of self-defense would be useful to him in several ways. He wouldn’t have to watch her as closely or worry about her getting taken, or kidnapped without a fight. She would be better trained to take hits and blows as she needed to in her new found dangerous life. How useful was her learning anything toward his plan though? Not very much. In fact her role in the plan didn’t require her to put up any fight at all, just merely obey him. She was doing a fine job of that so far except for the occasional…unexpected displays of affection.
Dr. Crane’s demeanor remained extremely cold toward her. His feelings were just jumbled about the entire ordeal and he did what he did best when he wasn’t sure about something. Convinced himself he would break it down later into the truth and for now cover it with the still coldness of blank emotion. She certainly did have a way of making his plans more difficult than they needed to be, but she wasn’t the only one. The doctor nodded slowly as she mentioned she needed a minute to collect herself after the ordeal. He didn’t mind very much, a moment wouldn’t have hurt him either.
He glanced at her as his name was mentioned through the silence that had entered between them. Carefully he turned his attention back toward her and faced his body in her directions to show it. The question caused him to pause but never lift his gaze from her. To which? Her kiss? Or her fright? Both of their explanations would have been quite different. He had little desire to share either of them with her. The thought of her continually pestering for it wasn’t appealing at all. Why not?
“To your pathetic display of affection or some twisted attempt to get me to react? I simply disagree with the act. A waste of time as it is often used to cover up the true meaning behind it all. It’s a distraction from your life. An escape which I’d rather have no part in, That is what I think about.” He spoke quickly just trying to get that part out of the way. Of course he left out the part about Sherri completely although it was the first thing into his mind. That he didn’t want to share with her, not because he was afraid to….simply because it didn’t matter anymore.
“As for what I thought of when you were frightened…” Dr. Crane took a long pause as the images flashed through his mind again and the feeling came through his sense. It made goose bumps come onto his arms and the hairs on his skin prickle and stand. It truly was a feeling that only he could understand fully. How was he going to describe this to her so she could understand it. Carefully he turned from her and walked toward the several rows of garden tables where soiled but bare pots lay. “Through your Iris I see who you are. The deepest form of humanity, the only form of humanity that isn’t a veil that the world created for them. It’s the first thing you think of when you’re ripped from the whomb…” Dr. Crane seemed to go into a lecture with his voice as he moved among the pottery. He came across a flower on the table and picked up the poppy that had brought him so much success. Yet he had never been able to grow it himself. “Something very powerful can start very small.” His breath husked to the flower almost as if he was trying to comfort it, or had some clear obsession with it.
VerMillion would not understand that this was the main ingredient in his toxin. Even if she managed to put the pieces together she still had no idea how to make it, or even what the flower was called. It was a rare type that was only found in one place. Despite his best efforts, he’d never been able to change that fact. It kept him bound to Ra’s in a way that he would rather not be. For his toxin however, he was prepared to pay any price. Slowly he walked back to VerMillion and handed her the flower.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Aug 18, 2012 3:11:51 GMT -5
Heather frowns to herself as he explains his thoughts on the way she attempted to get him to let her go. She hadn't meant to ask about that at all, and she doesn't like the answer she gets. "It's 'twisted' for a scared person to do things that they think will make a scary thing stop?" she asks quietly, not looking at him, "...I'm sorry... wasn't thinking clearly..." And she'd have thought that Jon would understood that seeing just how obsessed he is with that emotion. Of course, it doesn't really occur to her that her actions might have disturbed his thoughts any more than he's let on since she's currently too distracted by the settling of her own thoughts.
She becomes more overtly attentive though when he starts talking about the rest of his thoughts, turning more toward him and following his movement in her periphery though her eyes themselves still stay away. Though they do travel to the flower when he picks it up but, not knowing what it is, she really only notes that it's pretty. She seems somewhat intrigued by it when he carries it over and hands it to her, though the thoughtful frown on her face takes a negative turn. "If you see who I am, I don't understand why you want me around," she says quietly as she looks at the flower, her voice almost confessional, "I act more special than I actually am, and there's nothing that powerful about me. Whatever it is you want me to do, there's got to be a lot of better people for it." Though, having said that, she glances up at Jon again - her mind is already feeling clearer now than it was before.
It isn't normal for her to dwell too much upon what few negative self-appraisals she has of herself, but she can't help but feel somehow inadequate when the man she likes so much has such a strongly negative reaction to her. A part of her keeps reminding her that Jon is a bit... quirky in a lot of ways so that many not mean what it seems to mean. But she can't just ignore the idea that maybe it's her.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Aug 20, 2012 20:14:06 GMT -5
Dr. Crane didn’t see fear the way that the normal populace did, so of course he wouldn’t see it her way. It was just her inability to understand what he truly meant. Perhaps if one day he actually tried to lecture her or explain it to her she may become interested, even fascinated with it as he had. Though no one could ever truly understand the relationship that The Scarecrow held with fear. There was almost no words to describe such a perfect feeling, it was something that truly had to be witnessed and experienced.
Since he was the only one that felt that way about it he was alone in his theories. Everyone rejected the idea, as VerMillion had time and time again. Fools, they all were, too afraid to face the truth within the world. It was the only truth in the world that actually mattered, that truly existed within the short fabric of what society called a reality. It was all so clear in his eyes, and the shimmer of a spark that showed beneath his bright iris should have shown the world that he knew something more than they did.
Dr. Crane almost tried to lecture her about it but he was cut off by more questioning. Of course she didn’t understand why he ‘wanted’ her around. He had never done anything like this before; never had he kept a subject for this long. He listened to her as she stared at the beauty of the flower that meant so much to him. He wondered if for a moment she was actually able to grasp it’s importance. He studied her face as she spoke, trying to come to this realization on his own, but still listening to what she had to say.
He knew all about her already, he had known within the first few moments of her scrambling to her car. All of it was in her eyes the first moment she spoke to him down the short street. No there was nothing powerful about her, she wasn’t a super hero or a villain. She wasn’t even that amazing of a radio show host….but that didn’t matter to him. “That is societies claim on you..” He almost corrected her after she was done speaking. To him, she was seen in an entirely different light, and he held a very important purpose for her.
It was unfortunate that it was a purpose she would only ever half know. Even the true world that Dr. Crane saw had a cruel twist of fate within, and that was hers. It sounded bleak, but to him it was a glorious triumph of his work, and she will have been a part of it. That alone should have been enough for her, but he knew it wouldn’t be. Yet here he stood, having just handed her the most precious thing in the world to him. “How can you be so sure?” He asked her lowly taking in her image and the flower itself. “If you don’t even know what your purpose is?” His head tilted slightly as he spoke and raised a hand to gently cup the flower in her hands. “Something can seem like it can’t change anything, like it would move wherever it was told. Wither away on demand. Yet under the right influence can change the perception of the world.” His voice seemed to trail off as his eyes deepened into the world that only he could see.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Aug 22, 2012 17:09:31 GMT -5
The flower in her hand is just that to Heather - a flower. A pretty one, but of course she couldn't begin to understand what it means to Jon. She can't even begin to identify what kind it is, let alone that it would have any sort of special properties. But then, Jon often makes the mistake of supposing that it's remotely possible for her to understand something without even a hint of explanation first.
She listens carefully to Jon's words, and they seem to cheer her up a little bit. "Like when I'm on the radio..." she comments. There's always been something about being on the air, knowing how many people can hear her, that makes her suddenly feel more powerful and significant. It is, perhaps, the one thing that she feels like she's any good at. In pretty much everything else she feels so weak, but if you can get people to listen then you can change the way they think. And if you change the way they think, you really can change the world.
Glancing at the flower again, she looks back at Jon and asks, "What is this?" While she hasn't the slightest clue about anything relating to plants, she didn't miss seeing the way that Jon was looking at it.
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