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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on May 4, 2012 2:29:20 GMT -5
VerMillion's brow furrows when Crane once again repeats his what she's pretty sure is a flawed statement, but she hears him out. Of course, the scientific explanation doesn't cause that expression to ease up, as saying it that way makes her have to concentrate somewhat to actually understand what he's saying. It's not that she doesn't understand the words, it's that she has to stop and think about it a second to remember what things like synapses are since those just aren't words she uses everyday.
However, when he calls it brave toxin, that she does remember. When you look up anything on the Scarecrow it's merely a footnote next to the fear toxin, but if you do any digging you'll come across it. Just the sort of thing she'd be expected to know about if one of her callers happened to also know about it and brought it up. A chemical that essentially makes it so that a person can't feel fear at all...
"Hmm," is her initial response as her forehead wrinkles in deep thought and her eyes seem to look at nothing as she tries to concentrate on that. She can't feel... fear? Wouldn't she have noticed something that... drastic? Then again, now that it's been said she does retroactively recognize that she did not, at any point, feel afraid since shortly after being hit by the dart even though she didn't realize that it was odd at the time. Actually, it still doesn't seem odd to her that she hadn't been afraid - rather, it seems more odd to her that she was afraid before that.
There's a very long pause as she tries to grapple with that, her expression lacking any sort of confusion that would indicate a lack of understanding about what he explained, yet it seems to be a real mental workout for her to ponder the issue even though she understands it. Doing long division in her head would probably be easier. She can remember several faults in her logic that she attributed to whatever was in her system - the first and most obvious being her attempt to attack Crane with the scissors, which she should have known wouldn't work. So fear would have made that not happen? It's hard to see how, given that she could not fear then, she can't fear now, and she has a hard time adding in the idea that she should have been afraid then.
Pondering upon all the other instances is similarly difficult, and she finally shakes her head and simply says, "Weird..." While she can understand which drug is in her system and what it's doing on a logical level, to the point that she can confirm that she seems to be experiencing that and even recognize points where it had an influence, she does not have the ability to narrow down how she might have behaved differently if she'd been afraid. The only option she can see, even in retrospect, is the fearless one. And when she thinks far enough back to remember a time when she had been afraid, the way she'd felt and acted just... does not seem to make any sense at all.
And of course, even knowing which drug it is does nothing to make her see having it in her system is a problem at all. It's simply... weird, like she said. Though there are some things that she can say about what it's like. "It doesn't make any sense to me, you saying that I feel good about myself," she comments idly, trying to put some of the thoughts she'd grappling with into words, "I don't feel like I'm more confident, or whatever. I mean, I feel like there's nothing strange going on at all, except... well, things keep happening that I didn't expect, and then I realize after it happens that I should have known it would happen. And you keep doing all these confusing things... or is that not the toxin?" She frown at the question and looks back up at Crane, unable to answer it herself. The confusion could be the toxin or... well, he could just be that way. She doesn't really know the man, after all, and he's supposed to be insane. Not that she sees anything wrong with hanging out with him and having his drug in her system, even if he is.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on May 6, 2012 2:21:42 GMT -5
Dr. Crane reached his hand over to the equipment next to him. The station had cut out anyway as they were trying to get everything under control. He wasn’t in any mood to hear commercials while he was talking to her about the toxin he had given her. After he clicked the knob he returned to his relaxed position and waited for her to answer.
At first he just looked for an answer within her eyes, wishing now he had really brought his research with him. Committing most of it to memory wouldn’t be difficult he just had to pay close attention to her movements. Her lack of initial response wasn’t surprising. It would be difficult for her to process exactly what happened.
The idea behind the brave toxin Dr. Crane was extremely proud of. It was one of his greatest achievements, though he did enjoy everything he created. To create a reverse effect than his original toxin just proved how right he was about everything he attempted to show the world. Her next response was just as short as the last, but again it was a response of trying to understand or grasp the situation at hand. She just couldn’t contain it because her brain was unable to make any emotional connection to the incident aside from suddenly feeling fine.
Dr. Crane tilted his head as she went on to begin questioning his methods. It would be difficult for her to understand exactly how complex the situation was, even if he did try to explain it to her. He shifted from where he was standing moving a bit closer to her. “I wouldn’t say it made you have any more of those certain feelings, that’s not the right way to describe it. “ He began to pace passed the side of her wrapping his hands behind his back, lost in thought of her last words.
Doing all of these confusing things? Nothing was confusing to Dr. Crane of course, but she couldn’t be expected to understand. Everything he had done up to this very point was all a part of his plan. Things had certainly…changed a bit since he had first thought of it.
The subject in his mind turned in a different direction. He walked back slowly approaching the side of where VerMillion was sitting. He brought his fingers to her side and slid his fingers under the bottom of her shirt only slightly. She wasn’t going to fear the motion; she didn’t have to like his advance however. He lifted it slowly until it was about part way up inspecting the site where he had shot her.
As he looked, he actually wished he had taken a moment to look sooner. It wasn’t often he actually cared to look at whether an injection site was having a problem, especially with a patient. Her’s outwardly didn’t seem to be infected, though the red around it showed it was slightly irritated. He could have fixed that sooner. Dr. Crane crouched down to get at eye level with it. Running over the spot with his thumb.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on May 6, 2012 4:11:05 GMT -5
"Just no fear," VerMillion replies with a nod of understanding, because while she's having a hard time grasping the fact that she doesn't have that emotion, she can tell by the way she feels that it's not adding in different emotions. That she definitely would have noticed, or at least she thinks that she would. She mulls over the way he explained it before: not telling herself that she should be afraid of a situation... Well, that would mean that her mind is simply going with whatever other emotion applies, wouldn't it? And that's one of those automatic things that the brain just does, so it makes sense that she wouldn't notice that change.
Still somewhat lost in these thoughts, she doesn't really notice that he didn't answer her question. It had been half rhetorical anyway, and she's starting to get used to the fact that the man seems to have a habit of giving unsatisfactory answers to questions anyway. In fact, it isn't until she feels him touching her shirt that she even notes what he's doing. Of course, she sees no immediate reason to object to that, though she does watch him carefully for a few moments simply to see what he's up to.
Though when she sees that he's merely looking at the spot where the dart hit, even what limited amount of concern she may have had about what he's up to vanishes. In fact she leans back a little in her seat to make it easier. It really is a good idea for him to check - without the ability to fear, she'd see no reason to be concerned with it if it failed to heal properly until it reached the point of being painful enough to be annoying and that's probably well past the point you'd want to start some sort of treatment. Though the skin there is mostly protesting what happened to it a day ago with its angry red color. Dart guns just aren't that gentle, and neither was her quick if belated removal of the dart. Yet it can't be too painful, since she doesn't protest when he rubs it, even though she's idly watching the movement.
In fact, the tone of her voice indicates that she's actually pretty relaxed as she idly asks, "Why did you do that anyway? It hurt." Because that really is the only part of the whole thing that she sees any reason to complain about. Then again, the memory of that whole thing is a bit harder for her to grasp, probably because she'd been utterly terrified at that point and now she has a hard time recalling just why she'd been freaking out. It had seemed like a good idea at the time - she remembers that much.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on May 9, 2012 12:24:48 GMT -5
VerMillion had reacted as he suspected she would, no fear of the initial touch, and to this point she hadn’t shown much of a resistance at all to wanting it. In fact she seemed to react more intensely to touch than normal. Her laying back in her chair had helped significantly as he got a good look at it.
It would have been better if they were in the containment room. Normally where he operates on injured patients, or test subjects rather. This room had a bit of a glow to it with a single spot light above. It was enough to cover the room but the corners still crept the walls with darkness. He never liked to keep that much light around. It was only important when he was doing something that required his full attention and focus.
He now exposed stomach, and better light hitting it as a result gave him a better insight to it. It wasn’t infected, he re-confirmed with himself. Still he wanted to at least get something on it to make sure infection didn’t happen. Making a mental note, he would give her some antibiotics later. The area was just irritated from the impact. He had shot her at quite close range now that he thought about it.
It was confirmed as she complained that it did hurt. He looked up from the mark placing her shirt back down to cover it and tucking it neatly where it was before. “I did it so that you would begin to see the truth…” He said having a deeper meaning behinds his words. As he always had. Of course he didn’t expect her to understand the statement so he tried to phrase it another way. “It was necessary for what I am planning to do. All you need to know is that I’ve told you what it was, You seem to be accepting of it, despite the small injury on your stomach…Which I will…” He paused for a moment “Help you with.” He really despised saying that word. "Despite the pain....Do you enjoy it?".....
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on May 9, 2012 13:47:39 GMT -5
Without fear, there's no reason for Heather to protest being touched, as long as it isn't painful and doesn't make her angry for some reason. And in the absence of any negative reaction to it, that leaves the positive ones to dominate how she feels about it. And being gently touched actually tends to feel good if you have no reason to not want it.
When he's finished and replaces her shirt she sits up straighter again, and she rolls her eyes in silent annoyance at his first answer to her question. Again with the vagueness! Ah, but this time he actually explains it, and that eases her annoyance. Somewhat, anyway, since he's still pretty much keeping everything to himself. And her reaction to his offer of helping her is perfectly neutral - she's not worried that her injury will become a problem, but why not let him if that's what he wants to do?
His question, though, is an interesting one. Partly because she's having a hard time comparing and contrasting what it feels like to be on or off the drug since her memories of being fearful are... somewhat confusing. "I think so," she says finally, "I mean, I remember how right after it kicked in I felt a lot better. I don't know how I'd feel right now if I didn't have it... though I'm guessing I would be more afraid and that would feel worse?" She mulls that over in her mind before nodding to herself before adding, "The only downside I can see is that whole 'I should have known that would happen' thing, but that's not that big of a deal." Yeah, the brave toxin wins out in the cost/benefit analysis. At least, it does in her mind while she's actually on the drug.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on May 13, 2012 10:58:45 GMT -5
Now that VerMillion’s general appearance on the air had been made, there was little else they could do that this moment. VerMillion probably wouldn’t be too accepting of everything else he wanted to happen just yet. Now that he had told her about the Brave Toxin itself at least she would know what was going on when she began to have withdrawals…
What an excellent way to research..
He could tell that she was frustrated from his lack of further explanation on the matter. It was common for him to not explain everything for a few reasons. The biggest one being that he didn’t socialize, this whole living with him situation was as new to him as it was her. On the small occasion that he did happen to stay with someone or someone stayed with him…it was always…interesting.
It wasn’t often that he would pair up with someone, but when he did it always ended in glory or disaster. It eventually did give him most of the result desired however; very few professional criminals would work with him at all anymore. He was far too likely to take the situation into his own hands or in his own direction. How could he resist? For only a few did he make an exception, and it wasn’t much of one. In the end he was still getting what he wanted.
With VerMillion, almost everything about this situation was different. He hadn’t quite went to this extent before, and certainly hadn’t had someone live with him that had actually stayed alive this long. It was all going to be worth it in the end, right now after that broadcast, Gotham knew something was up, and it would spread through the criminal world like wildfire.
Dr. Crane lifted from his crouched position next to her as she spoke. He watched her carefully as she adjusted herself and sat back upright. She seemed to have at least a general understanding of what was happening and would be happening now, though he would have to be more prepared for it later. It was an excellent experiment. He nodded slowly as she asked her question. “Yes you will, but there is little reason for you to worry about it now, not that you could..” Dr. Crane almost smiled. “It’s better than your first experience with my toxins…I realize I’ve been rather unclear with my intentions. You will just have to accept that for now, it will become very clear eventually. However….If you ask the right questions I will answer them.” He extended his hand to help her up. “If there isn’t anything you want to know now…We have a lot of work to do.” Dr. Crane’s expression went back easily to cold nothingness.
There was still a lot to do to make sure this all went over smoothly. Most of all he wanted to get his notes to write down his observations on the brave toxin. Aside from that he still needed to leave and eventually get her a guest for her advertised show. Perhaps someone off the street, a common rabble of Gotham, it wouldn’t be difficult. For his own research he often pulled people from the street. The timing for most of these events was about to become very important…after that broadcast..It was only a matter of time before he caught someone’s attention.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on May 13, 2012 12:34:57 GMT -5
Well, Crane is certainly right about her lack of worry. Even being told directly that she will feel worse later doesn't phase Heather. Mostly because it's her first inclination to disbelieve those words - why would she feel worse later? Though in this case the cause and effect is clear enough that, though it takes her a moment, she realizes that he's referring to the drug wearing off. Drugs do that, after all. But even knowing that, it's a logical sort of knowledge - the drug will wear off, and she will feel worse. Yet since she can't worry about that happening, it doesn't seem very important and she doesn't dwell on it. All knowing that will do is cause her to not be completely surprised when it happens.
She makes a small face when he goes on to talk about how unclear he's been, and that she'll just have to accept that. But she doesn't want to have to accept that! Which means that she won't, as long as she's on the brave toxin. Then again, it's not like there's much that she can actually do about that, aside from get frustrated every time he does it. Then again, his comment about asking the right questions gets her attention - she's good at finding the right questions to ask. Trouble is, she doesn't think that she 'gets' Crane, so it may be hard for her to figure out which direction she should be going with that.
So even though he suggests that she could ask now, she refrains. Perhaps when she's been here longer she'll understand more of what she could be asking about. She takes his offered hand and stands, having only one question on her mind. "So what are we doing?" she asks curiously. At the very least, it sounds like she won't have a problem with boredom in he near future.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on May 14, 2012 19:03:28 GMT -5
Heather would find out on her own exactly what he meant. She would soon be feeling the effects of the lack of toxin; he gave it a few more days. A healthy dosage had been given to her just in case, so it would take longer than normal to ware. Every human health was different however, so he couldn’t judge an exact time to the tee.
Regardless of her feelings on what he said, her mind itself was distorted anyway. She thought she knew how she felt but in the absence of fear everything was very different. You were either there or you were here. Of course his look into this was much deeper than that, it was a perfect understand of fear and she was beaming it from her beautifully.
Dr. Crane gripped her hand and helped her out of her seat leading her away from the equipment. He had an idea of what he wanted to do. There was much work to do still but something was pulling at him, perhaps because she was here with him and the event had happened so closely together. “We’re going out.” He said plainly leading her into the lab but letting go of her hand in the hall so she could go in her room if she wished.
He stopped in the hall as well and turned to her. “I’d imagine you want to pick up a few of your things, and we can go do that. Also I’d like to make a trip to a local place to see if we can observe anyone reacting to the broadcast.” Dr. Crane slipped his hand into his suit jacket casually thinking for a moment about the things he was going to bring. Surely she wouldn’t protest to going to pick up things she wanted and having a small night out. Of course this was more for Dr. Crane than it was for her, and he wasn’t planning on any socialization with anyone…
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on May 14, 2012 23:39:19 GMT -5
Heading out and past the lab with Crane, Heather perks up a bit when he says 'going out'. That definitely sounds promising. From what she's observed, unless you really, really like laboratory science (yawn) there isn't much of anything fun to do around this place. Especially when he mentions going to get some of her stuff - she's already feeling a bit gross wearing the same thing she was wearing yesterday and if he expects her to be here for awhile there's a number of things she'll want.
"Okay!" she says, suddenly enthusiastic. She'll want her clothes, her makeup... she starts on the mental list as briefly steps into her room - the only thing she feels the need to do before she goes anywhere is set down the vial that Crane gave her earlier. The only other place she has to keep such a thing right now is in her pants pocket and that's probably not a good place for such a thing - she adds a purse to the mental list.
"Should I bring Bobby here?" she suddenly asks with thoughtful frown once she's back in the hallway, as that really depends on just how long she's staying - she still hasn't quite grasped just how long term Crane's thinking is on this. Kayla can probably manage fine for a few days, but after that...
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on May 15, 2012 1:17:17 GMT -5
Dr. Crane simply stood there and observed her excitement. He watched her eyes perk up and a slight bounce to her as her eyes sparkled. She clearly wanted to get out, Dr. Crane easily forgot that although he liked the lab, VerMillion might not like it all the time. Especially since she couldn’t touch anything.
His expression changed a bit as she mentioned a ‘Bobby’. This could have meant several things, a little brother….possibly a roommate, some sort of animal. Regardless his brows pulled closer together as he thought about it. “What…is a Bobby…?” He asked her tilting his chin slightly with the slightest amount of curiosity mixed mostly with skepticism .
He was going to hear her out on the subject at least. If it was a human it was out of the question, an animal however…Dr. Crane was never good with animals aside from lab effective rodents. Dogs never particularly liked him and he never cared to own one because of it. If it was a dog it was out of the question. Cat’s he never cared for either, although more solitary out of the way creatures, he was around them when he was young…and didn’t like the reminder.
The thought was shaken from his mind as he waited for her to answer. Instead his mind traced to the various things he planned to bring with him on this small outing. If they were going to be breaking back into her residence they were going to have to take precautions. There was no telling if the place was still being watched, especially after that broadcast.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on May 15, 2012 3:18:44 GMT -5
Heather can't help but smile a little at Crane's reaction to her question. She often forgets that when she says 'Bobby', she needs to explain what that means to people who don't know yet - it's just been such a constant to her for that long. "Bobby's my hamster," she replies, "I always have a Bobby - this one is number five." At least since she was old enough that her parents deemed her responsible enough to have her very own pet, anyway.
Luckily for Crane, she'd never decided to 'upgrade' to anything bigger or more obnoxious. Partly because hamsters just plain require less care and attention than cats and dogs, which works well with the fact that she likes to keep busy so something that can go a day or two without her is ideal, and partly because she never did get over just how cute they are.
Of course, at the moment she's less opinionated on this issue than she could be, thanks once again to the brave toxin. She's not worried about what will happen to Bobby if she doesn't have him with her. On the other hand, it will matter to her when the drug wears off. But for now, she merely looks to Crane for his opinion on the idea. "Oh, and I'm ready to go whenever," she adds. Since she was brought here with literally nothing but the clothes she's wearing, it's not like she has any stuff she needs to grab first.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on May 15, 2012 13:40:48 GMT -5
Hearing that it was a hamster caused him to at least consider it. Dr. Crane wasn’t thrilled about it outwardly leaning against the wall in the hallway to think. It was just a hamster, it couldn’t cause any damage. It was one of the animals that he used often in school and as a professor to teach. Hamsters were lab animals like rats and mice.
He was certain that VerMillion wouldn’t approve of any testing he could have in mind for the animal, but it wasn’t like he did that often anymore. There was a point where he decided that testing on humans was far more effective than on animals, if it was going to be for them, it should be tested on them. No remorse, no sympathy, no compassion for their protest to it. It was just science and they were fortunate enough to be a part of it.
Dr. Crane sighed and rolled his head on the wall thinking it over, a pet…His gaze fell to VerMillions hopeful eyes and he nodded. “Alright ‘Bobby’ can come just make sure he’s out of the way and in your room. I don’t want him running around my lab free. “An audible sigh was in his voice as he caved to her request. It wasn’t unreasonable…
He pushed off the wall as she said she was ready and headed into his lab to grab a few more things off the tables. He disappeared for a moment into his private room, but came out only moments later. Walking toward the exit he pressed his thumb into the scan lock and the door clicked, ready for them to exit together. He opened it and waited for her to exit with him.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on May 15, 2012 14:54:28 GMT -5
When she hears the amount of reluctance in his voice, Heather almost tells him to forget about it. She's sure that even if Kayla screws up it won't be to the point of any real harm done for a week or two. But as she thinks the question over a moment more, she realizes that Crane is that reluctant yet not trying to argue that she won't be gone for very long. Huh - exactly how long is he planning on her staying here anyhow? And she has to admit that having Bobby in her room will do a lot to make the place more cheery. And this entire building could use all the help it can get when it comes to 'cheery' - or at least her own room.
So instead she says, "That's fine - Kayla has the same rule." Well, except that instead of there being a lab there's the main living area of the apartment. But another perk of such a small pet is that it can be confined to such a small area with no harm or trouble. At least as long as he doesn't figure out a way to escape from his cage, but she's rarely had that problem with her hamsters. She waits semi-patiently for him to do whatever in his room, and is quick to follow him out the door.
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