Wilting Rose [Jeremiah]

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

As she's led down the hallway to one of the session rooms by a pair of guards, Poison Ivy's expression is blank as they follow the familiar route. She's settled into the routine of the place like a heliotropic plant - adjusting herself in accordance to the expected conditions at any given time.

Though the way she's tackled her sessions with Dr. Arkham has changed over time. At first she was rather uncooperative - though she never outright refused to discuss anything, she proved to be quite adept at 'accidentally' shifting the conversation off topic into something not very helpful. Yes, one could learn a few things about her as she did so, but gaining an understanding of her psyche from those sessions was slow going.

However, as her time at the asylum lengthened at first her appearance and then her behavior began to change. And though the grayness of her skin and dullness of her features along with her apparent lethargy are probably concerning, whatever is ailing her has also been to Dr. Arkham's benefit during their sessions - keeping him from discovering things about her mind became a tiresome chore as her mental energy decreased, and she eventually stopped caring enough to try that hard. She still won't discuss things that are obviously secret, like any of her thoughts on leaving the asylum or what she'll do afterward, but she cares much less about whether or not Dr. Arkham knows how she thinks.

And once she began speaking more freely, her thoughts proved to be... unique. She shows strong signs of several personality disorders, being completely uncaring about people aside from a short list of favorites. She speaks indifferently about the people she's killed, showing absolutely no remorse for it and even saying that she doesn't see why everyone gets so upset about it. She experiences severe paranoia, especially about men, though at the same time her sheer arrogance could fill a room - any fearfulness her paranoia may normally have caused is instead shrugged off by her absolute confidence that she'll be able to handle all the things she's so certain are out to get her.

On the other hand, though she obviously doesn't like to think or talk about it much, she definitely does care about her babies - all of them regarded as innocent and certainly much better than any person, up to and including the ones known to kill people. It's not their fault they do that, after all - they only do what she designed them to do. Of course, it's not like killing people is actually wrong anyway. Though at the moment all of that is a bit of a touchy issue, as she's still mourning the garden she is unable to tend and that's therefore presumably in ruin.

When she's led into the room, she simply sits in her normal chair with a tired sigh to wait for Dr. Arkham to arrive as it seems that she's beaten him to the session. Though she suspects that he's actually observing her through the one way mirror first before he comes in. She doesn't really care though, and wearily rubs her forehead with one of her hands. Something that isn't complicated by handcuffs - she hasn't lifted a finger against anyone since her first day here, so she has full privileges including not having to wear restraints. Of course, she's known to have used her rec time to convince others to break the rules a couple of times and is suspected in many others, but when questioned about it she's quick to insist that she's innocent. She's also used her rec time to prove that at least whatever ails her isn't so severe that she can't pretend to be well when she wants to. It's only that she wants to when she's around other patients - at other times she appears to be constantly exhausted.

[Jeremiah Arkham - Black Mask]

Ivy’s suspicions are correct. Jeremiah is standing arms behind his back, hands linked, and eyes set through the two-way mirror as she is brought in. The doctor is notorious for playing this game, but usually to size a patient up before entering a session. He is sizing up Ivy, but not in the usual manner. Instead his face is stretched in concern. It’s not a happy expression, but grave and no sooner is his face dampered than he turns to the physician who has joined him.

“Something will be done immediately. I was foolish for even waiting this long,” Jeremiah said and with a nod from the other doctor, he watches the physician leave before looking through the glass. He frowned deeply.

Enough was enough.

It would be a lie if Jeremiah claimed ignorance to Ivy’s dimming complexion and change of behavior. He’d kept detail note of it from the moment he noticed even the slightest sign of each. It would also be a lie if he says he hadn’t worried. He’d worried from the outset, but the benefits outweighed immediate attention. Ivy had had such a shield at first, not that that annoyed him in the least. She wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last, he assumed, that would noticeably avoid certain topics. He had enjoyed every time she had switched the topic and had never had the patients does, he probably wouldn’t have noticed. He, however, did and high respected her ability to do it and thus followed her into the forays of wasteful topics she chose. Or were they? It was slow going, indeed, at first, but progress is progress and he’d taken no offense to her lack of cooperation in the beginning.

Yet when it became hard for her to do that as easily, he became all the more fascinated by her.

The mind was always a puzzle and no two minds had the same pieces nor constructed the same picture. Ivy’s mind was no different. She was as unique as everyone else. He found himself enthralled by her lack of empathy for killing. He never told her how much he agreed. He wasn’t allowed. But why cry over the spilled milk of society? You always had to crack eyes when making the perfect omelet. Most people, especially to the doctor are pawns pure and simple. As for her paranoia, that too is intriguing. Such fear meshed with an image of devil-may-care attitude. He wonders whether Ivy uses her arrogance to disguise her fear if they exist at the same time as two ideals and their expression is based on a moment by moment basis. What he does, observe, though is that despite her claims of suspicion she holds towards men—ironic she admits that fact to him—her confidence, egotistical as it may be destroys it. He believes that she considers herself able to handle any situation with all the poise of a lady of her upbringing.

It’s her lament about her “babies” that captures his attention the most, however. It is for that reason he had made decision.

He leaves the room and stops observing her. Her sigh is almost a cue for him. He enters the session room, but doesn’t sit down. He chooses instead to slip his hands into the pockets of his doctor’s coat.

“Would you like to have a session outside, or maybe in Arkham’s Botanical Gardens? The island is beautiful this time of day.”

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

When she hears the door open, Poison Ivy doesn't bother to look at first. She knows who it is, after all, so why bother? Just another meaningless person on this planet that she's being forced to associate with. And right now she'd much rather be in her room, where she can lay on her bed, stare at the walls and rest. She only came willingly to this session because she knew that it would, in the end, require more effort to refuse - a fuss would have been raised about it. There's probably far too many people concerned about her already, and she hardly wants to add to that.

However, when Dr. Arkham doesn't take a seat as expected, then she does remove her hands from her face and look up enough to see what's going on. His question causes her forehead to wrinkle for a moment in deeply internalized thought, as it's not a question that she can treat lightly at all. But after that pause, her eyes fall all the way to the floor as she replies by simply saying, "Whatever." She's not going to share her feelings about the options with Dr. Arkham, as deep as they may be, and instead leaves any decision making completely up to him.

Having said that, she simply waits, unmoving, for him to tell her what to do. She doesn't even bother to stand, as perhaps he'll be so discouraged by her response that he'll change his mind. Either way, she knows that she can't look energetic enough for much of a walk, even though she knows that she has much more in reserve than her symptoms would suggest. Then again, perhaps he's to the point of feeling like he has to do something more drastic about her health? This suggestion could be the start of a ruse to get her to the hospital wing against her will - oh, he'd better not be trying that! Perhaps she'll need to kill another doctor?

[Jeremiah Arkham - Black Mask]

Jeremiah doesn’t immediately move either. Of course she’d agreed to go, but he isn’t liking her color or her listlessness. She’s right about him accessing her as not appearing to be up for much of a walk, but he knows how little of the natural air she receives. She seems to be shrinking and he wants to try something before the drastic fight would need to be made to move again to the hospital wing. He wants that as much she, which is very, very little. He remembers what happened the last time and he’s in no hurry to have such an incident repeated. If he knows one thing it is her opinion of the medical staff.

He comes to his side of the table after having assessed her and though he doesn’t sit, his voice is actually filled with concern. “You look terrible, Ms. Ivy. I should have done something sooner, but I…I have no excuse, I’ll be honest. Hoping it was just homesickness or something, I thought you’d regain your color, but you’re dulling. You can act so vibrant, but I know you’re not feeling well. Our conversations show significant proof of that.” He doesn’t touch her, but he does look to the door. “I don’t want to take you to the hospital, not unless it’s absolutely necessary. I want to exhaust every option first.” He takes hold of the back of his chair and straightens.

“Tell me what do you need, whatever it is, if improves your health it will be brought and/or given. And you’ve been cooped but in here. If you feel too weary to walk on your own. I can bring in a wheelchair to take you in.” It wasn’t to call her weak, but to let her know how serious he was. She needed some change and environment was all he could think of. Certainly he could look into changing her medications, but begin with what could be easiest to change. And the answer to that was her space. She had offered no challenge or provable nuisance. If he wanted to move their sessions to a place less secure, all protocol told him he could. Besides, he knew something had to be done.

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

When he starts to talk, at first Poison Ivy doesn't react, but eventually her eyes lift far enough to meet his and she leans back a little in her seat. But her expression is largely blank and she doesn't seem to really be effected by the concern in his voice. Is he really concerned about her? Of course not. If anything he's concerned about whatever consequences may come should she die while under his care. He's only pretending that it's about her personally in order to manipulate her. But all men are like that, always.

"The hospital can do nothing for me," she replies quietly, but with enough firmness behind her voice to suggest that she really does mean that, "I'm not dying, I'm not sick, and I want nothing from you." In fact she's yet to even admit that there's anything at all wrong with her or that she's not feeling well, unless you count the fact that she lets Dr. Arkham say so without raising any objections.

"And I can walk perfectly fine," she adds, a bit more loudly. She's hardly going to let something as undignified as being pushed around in a wheelchair happen to her - she'd rather die trying to walk! But it won't come to that, since she's not lying. He could give her a tour of the entire facility and she'd make it through the whole thing, though she's lethargic enough that it would be a very big chore for her to convince herself to walk that far whether she can physically do it or not. In fact she'd protest about his plans for their session for today if the fact that he's talking about wheelchairs didn't indicate that he's probably going to insist.

[Jeremiah Arkham - Black Mask]

There is a bubbling of rage that starts in his chest and it flickers in his eyes. It’s not her last words that disturb him, but the ones right before them.

“I want nothing from you…”

Was he concerned about the consequences were she to die in his care? Yes, but his worry is also genuine. He does honestly care despite her belief of the opposite. So it stings when she reacts to his truthful emotions with nothing less that reproach as if he sees her as simply a thing rather than another human being—though it’s clear she believes herself higher than humanity in her mind. Man is the vile thing to her. “The hospital can do nothing,” he repeats her words back at her as a question. “Believe that or not I know you don’t want to go back there so I offered a different solution.” And though she’s not denied the offer outright, the sourness of her mood proclaims she’s not too keen on it either.

He walks around the table, “Not sick, not dying, perhaps not…but if there is one you’re not it is well. You’re not well. I’ve noticed it slowly progressing through our sessions. Regardless of how you view me, my profession, or my sex, I do indeed want to see you well. Now we can do this one of two ways. You can cut off the venom and honestly speak to me, or I can cut this session. You can sit in your cell and I'll just begin the process of taking away the privileges you've gained for yourself. Your solitary mealtimes, recreation, and your comfortable bedding...everything will be taken until you decide you're in a more cooperative mood.”

He stopped at her side, “You’ll just get worse, though, Ivy. We both know that.”

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

"Nothing," Poison Ivy is quick to confirm, both in her eagerness to not end up there again but also to emphasize the point that it would be useless anyway. They wouldn't be able to figure out what's 'wrong' with her. Well, maybe they could after a few years of study, at least without enlisting the help of one of the other students of Dr. Woodrue - all of whom got absorbed into their own work, last she heard. But she certainly doesn't need to know what caliber of doctor they have or would be able to bring in to examine her, because either way it would not be a quick and easy process. It had taken her a few weeks to understand it herself well enough, and she was Dr. Woodrue's best student.

Though she listens, she doesn't respond to Dr. Arkham's words as he starts to try to talk her into explaining her present condition. All the reassurances in the world aren't going to convince her that he actually cares - no man does, at least not unless they're under the influence of her drugs, and even her pheromones seem to be in a weakened state at the moment. But evidently, whatever his motivations are his desire to get to the bottom of this is proving to be strong enough that he's actually willing to start threatening to take away the privileges she's so inconvenienced herself to earn. Her lips purse at the unfairness of it - a part of her is tempted to respond to this by declaring an open season on the staff members until they decide to give her what she wants.

But the brooding silence that follows for a few moments when he's done speaking indicates that she's not going to make a snap decision and she's not taking it lightly. There are pros and cons to be carefully weighed here, given her options - especially since she knows full well that they go beyond the two he's pretending she's limited to. But eventually she sighs to herself as she says, "I don't deserve to be well."

As much as she'd like to turn this into a battle of wills, she's grown quite attached to all the nice things in her cell and she's certain if she did something more horrible to resist than simply refusing to to talk about it they'd come up with something even worse to do to her. So she'll talk. But though that lone statement is deep, it's still somewhat evasive - only a statement of why she's allowed this to happen, but not what. And she doesn't know herself yet just how far she's willing to talk right now.

[Jeremiah Arkham - Black Mask]

Throughout this whole exchange Jeremiah has attempted to make it clear that he agrees with her. But it has more to do with the fact that doctors have seen her condition and they’re baffled. Beyond that they’re afraid. They’d seen or heard what Poison Ivy had done to the last doctor who had tried to study her in any way. None are keen on being killed by a poison the lab has only found trace amounts of and from observation she can secrete it. It’s clear she’s not going to the medical bay and even if she did it would take a brave soul and probably a hazard suit to examine her. So it’s an option he’s out to avoid unless absolutely necessary and he’s not sure it’s not quite yet, but he’ll agree to anything to get her talking somehow.

He’s not surprise to notice displeasure at his threats, and cannot be bothered in the moment to care whether she believes him or not. Right now, whether he’s trustworthy or honestly caring in her opinion is his least concern. He’s concerned about her and he’s almost willing to risk anything to get to the bottom of it. He is slightly relieved at her obvious expression of displeasure, though, because at least she’s well enough to believe that his vows to take away what she worked for are unfair.

For a while he just watched that expression, watches the gears in her head turn as she decides whether or whether not to speak to him and he’s prepared to leave the room and begin stripping away her amenities. He’s ready to fill out the correct paperwork to take away whatever privileges she’s gained outside her cell. Yet the reply he receives makes him mute a moment. It wasn’t an answer he was expecting.

He pulls away from behind her, mulling over it in silence as he finally takes a seat in front of her and regards her in confusion. Now he has to address this, but he’ll accept that at least they’re moving forward.

“Why do you say that,” he asks her, and it’s both instigated by his method of psychological query and honest puzzlement. Of all the replies he’d expected to hear she doesn’t deserve something baffles him. Ivy had always seemed to believe herself deserving and had carried such an air with her in almost all their conversations. “I don’t agree. I believe you do deserve to be well. Everyone does and feeling bad does nothing for you. It puts your treatment and thus progress on hold and physically it’s terrible. Why would you believe it right that you should be ill?”

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

Of course Poison Ivy realises that saying such a thing to a psychiatrist is like telling a satanist that you're a virgin - you can't take it back, and it puts you in a big mess that will take you awhile to get back out of. Still, if it means that she can keep all the comforts she has in her cell, she supposes this will be worth it. Even if it's bound to be horribly, horribly annoying.

"Really? Everyone deserves to be well? Don't pretend that you're that charitable - nobody is," she responds first, rolling her eyes. She's yet to meet the person, aside from young children perhaps, that is so full of sunshine and rainbows that they don't have a line somewhere between people who are worth wishing well and those who are irredeemable scum. Those who are esteemed as 'non-judgemental' simply put that line where only the most extreme of people would ever cross it. Poison Ivy, on the other hand, would put the vast majority of humanity on the bad side of the line - even to the point of assuming that people she doesn't know well are probably in that category.

But after saying that, she pauses for a moment. It is, after all, an exercise in ease to complain about what he said, while it's much harder for her to figure out how to explain her own feelings in words and decide whether or not she wants to say those words. Eventually, she manages to condense it all into one simple statement. "Because my garden is dead. How dare I worry about myself when I've failed it so totally?" she says with a sigh, sounding quietly miserable. Though even as she says that, she's already assuming that he could never really understand what she's saying. He might think that he does, but no - nobody else sees the world as clearly as she does, and she's already given up on the idea that anyone else might come to see it too. That's why it's up to her to fix the mess that the world has become. And that's why it was so horrible for her to have failed, even if this setback is temporary.

[Jeremiah Arkham - Black Mask]

Telling a psychiatrist that you felt undeserving was indeed opening a can of worms and Jeremiah was quite aware of it. He wasn’t amused per se, but he knew that suddenly there was an obstacle they were both going to have to get over. Yet, he’s not threatened her again so it’s par of the cause.

What he does offer a chuckle at is her reaction to his words. “I’m not pretending to be that charitable. It’s what I’m supposed to say, though.” He shook his head, “But no, I’m very aware I’m not and that I don’t believe that everyone deserves to be well. You, however, you do.” No, Jeremiah’s aware he’s not generous. He’s not a saint and some people aren’t worthy of getting well, aren’t worthy of his help, and he’s fickle. He’s not even in the group with the ‘non-judgmental.’ Jeremiah Arkham is judgmental and it won’t change. He doesn’t believe a great amount of people worth the care, even if he forces himself to fake it. Yet he’s not putting the majority of the human race on the bad side of things. He doesn’t judge all his fellow mortals poorly, after all. Most of the time, honestly, it depends on his mood.

His mood currently is now mellow. He’s at least opening to listening even if he’s still reminded of her disrespect at telling him she didn’t need his help. Her condition plainly screams otherwise or at least screams she needs help from someone. “Your garden? You’re letting yourself decline because of your garden?” He asks it neutrally. He’d honestly seen worse delusions, though this is up there. It’s true he doesn’t understand it. Not really. He tries to be supportive; again that is part of his job, but he’ll not deny it’s not far-fetched. He composes himself, however, and after his own moment of reflection finally says, “Out of death comes more life. If you get better you can rebuild your garden. It will be stronger and better than it was before and though I am not botanist as you were, I do know that nature has a way of being resilient, Ms. Ivy. It may surprise you.”

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

When Dr. Arkham proceeds to claim that Poison Ivy is an exception even after admitting that he believes that not everyone deserves good health, it only prompts a return of the eyeroll. He's not only supposed to say that everyone deserves it, he's also supposed to say that it especially includes her. Because that's what therapists do: they lie to try to make you feel better. It's depressingly predictable.

As is the reaction to the rest of her words. When he repeats her words to himself, she instantly frowns in irritation - no matter how neutrally stated they are, she takes those questions as confirmation that he doesn't and probably never will understand. If it hadn't happened so many times already, she'd be astonished just how heartless everyone is, acting like such a profound loss means nothing. This is why she should never share her feelings with anyone!

What he says next only adds to her irritation. "Of course I can rebuild my garden. Of course it will be better. You don't need to tell me how resilient nature is! But it isn't alive now, is it? It would be thriving right now if I'd tried just a little more - pushed myself a bit harder. And you think I should feel well?" she rants, almost sneering at him at that last part. "I should feel horrible after all of that," she mutters, more to herself than to him.

[Jeremiah Arkham - Black Mask]

He lays his arm on the table and though he stays silent through her eye roll it certainly doesn’t go unnoticed. He sighs, “Ivy, you’re my responsibility here. I won’t deny that as a professional I am ethnically inclined to make you as comfortable as I can, agree with you in an effort to understand, treat, and make valuable reports on you. Yet allow me to say a few things before I respond to your further anger at me for trying to understand and offer what I can.”

He meets her gaze, “You have been more or less civil with me. I’m aware that your behavior is to be sure you are treated fairly and given the amenities you desire. We both have a purpose here. I’m doing my job in order to ensure I’m not cited for neglect, you have been behaving in a often cooperative manner because you’re aware of how the system works. But I am treating you as you have been treating me. You are civil so I am civil.” He straightens, “So there is your honesty.”

But he’s not trying to be heartless. He was trying to say the right things. “I ask that you try and not be impatient with me. I am trying to understand and say what I think is right to help. But if you want to glower and beat yourself up for your failure to push as hard as you think you should have, if you want to feel horrible, then do it. But feeling guilty and horrible and moping about it succeeds in obtaining absolutely nothing but more inner turmoil. You can sit there and make yourself unwell to the point that you’re useless or you can realize, that you did in fact fail and make a change, but doing nothing but sulking serves no purpose. You’re even more useless in this state.”

He taps the table, “You cannot change the past, but you can vow to change the future.”

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

It would probably help things if Poison Ivy even really wanted to be understood, but she's so used to being the lone tree that she fails to so much as properly explain herself even when given a golden opportunity. Even if Dr. Arkham understood, would he act upon that knowledge? No, of course not. She's just giving up on a lost and pointless cause before it's even started.

Which is why, in spite of his call for patience, she still looks rather irritated. He's the one who is insisting that they talk about this, after all - he shouldn't be getting so upset just because he doesn't like the answers. "Useless? Hardly!" she responds, quick to object to the word, "It's more that I'm..." She pauses for a moment, considering her words - she wants something accurate but she also doesn't want to shed too much light on her condition. "...Inefficient. I have a way of being resilient that may surprise you. But what's the point of efficiency here?" It's not like she has a real reason to be in good health here. Except to prevent her therapist from assuming that she's dying, apparently.

"And I've already planned many ways to change the future," she adds more conversationally, "You're very good at telling me things I already know, Dr. Arkham."

[Jeremiah Arkham - Black Mask]

Jeremiah isn’t upset at her, he’s not being impatient. He’s simply noting that she’s irritated and aiming to assuage and correct whatever words or actions he’d undertaken to further that mood, though it appears her cause isn’t the only one to be considered lost. Jeremiah is quickly coming to see that whatever he says or however he reacts is either being misinterpreted or succeeding in angering her all the more. He wants to talk about this, but she’s the one being vague—not that he’s surprised—and how can he rightly respond if he doesn’t know exactly what he’s responding to?

“Well, one could argue that considering yourself inefficient is considering yourself useless in some category of the word. But it is you who said you don’t deserve to be in health and you are who are indeed being withdrawn and forlorn.” He decides to point out. “I’m simply listening and trying to respond correctly. I’m not asking you to like what I say or even agree with it. I did ask for conversation and why should I argue when I’ve clearly obtained it?” Jeremiah regards her and sighs, “I’m sure you are able to be quite resilient. The fact you’re arguing with me only further proves that. You obviously seem unwell, but still have the strength to disagree with me and disagree strongly.”

He smiles, however, to her final words, “Then allow me to continue to tell you things that I’m certain you already know. The point of efficiency here? Well you could think that it may get you released sooner. I take notes, I report your case, I don’t make the final decisions on whether you are or not released, but my opinion does play a huge part in that.”

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

Trying to convince Poison Ivy that you have anything besides the worst of intentions, especially if you're a man, is pretty much doomed to failure. She's so certain of it that her mind will twist the slightest evidence into clear proof that she's right, and it's impossible not to give her that slight evidence. And even if you did manage that feat, it wouldn't help her very much since she'd simply consider you a rare exception and still believe that the rest of humanity is just as rotten as she suspects that it is. If they weren't, then why would they let the planet suffer so?

Most of what Dr. Arkham says now is listened to, but without much interest. She hardly cares about his opinion on anything, and his repeated insistence of his sincerity does nothing to convince her that he's capable of any such thing. And she certainly sees no reason to come up with a response to meaningless chatter.

But when he mentions that she may be able to get herself released sooner, she can't help but laugh. "Released?" she repeats, laughing again before asking, "Now why would I want to be released?" Shaking her head, she comments, "It's utterly ridiculous that they put me here, of all places, but it works out to be far less annoying than the other option. Apparently, the government thinks that I'm guilty of over a hundred murders and they have lawyers who are sure that at least some of the charges would stick if I weren't so 'insane'. So if I leave here that way, I get another cell to live in - a worse one. No, I'm better off staying right here until I'm ready to let myself out." And the matter-of-fact way she says that last part makes it sound as if she intends to simply walk out the front door the moment she feels like it. Which is only almost true - it will need to be scheduled at least a day in advance.