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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Jun 29, 2012 1:29:55 GMT -5
The concern Heather feels for Jon has a large number of causes. Most immediately, he's the only one who knows how to make brave toxin. But beyond that, she did realize during one of the first times she came off of the brave toxin that if anything happens that causes her to end up in the hands of the authorities, she wouldn't be going home. She's not really concerned that she'd be treated as a criminal considering the fact that she was drugged and kidnapped, but what would they do with her? The various options she's aware of are not pleasant, and that unknown is also very troubling. And if something were to happen to Jon she knows she's virtually guaranteed to find out, whether that means he's caught, seriously hurt, or killed.
But it goes even beyond that. Because in spite of how incredibly boring he is while he's working and how just plain frustrating he is to talk to sometimes, she's found that on the whole she actually enjoys his company. She's not fully aware why, though it probably has something to do with the fact that the way his mind works is a complete an utter mystery to her. She's never quite sure what he'll do or say next, and while she can sometimes guess he surprises her frequently. And there's something utterly fascinating about that. Not to mention that the moment she was able to first take a good look at him - when he first brought her here, actually - she realized that he's definitely not unattractive... No, she definitely doesn't want anything bad happening to him, and not just for her own sake.
And the concern in her expression only increases when he doesn't answer her question, shifting quickly to confusion when she sees the look that he's giving her. Why is he looking at her like that? But with her thoughts racing to and fro the moment is short. She finds herself again trying to tell herself to calm down - the worry is just the drug wearing off, Jon will be fine, she will be fine, there's nothing to worry about!
But that's when Jon nods. No... He nodded? As in, the Riddler did give him a riddle? Of course he didn't mean that! She quickly argues with herself over that point, but before either side can win he confirms it. "He... did?" she asks out loud, as if saying them herself will make the thought more clear in spite of the sudden frenzy of anxiety that thought releases. Her eyes flicker around reflexively as if quickly checking the walls of her room might reveal a physical escape from the problem and she can't think of anything to say until after Jon explains it. Instead her hands move in and out of fists with anxious energy.
"I don't think I've ever heard of that..." she says rapidly, for an instant forgetting that she doesn't need to but then remembering that it wouldn't be that difficult to look it up. "Maybe we can figure it out, or at least a hint, or..." she starts, but then stalls. This is simply too big of a problem for her to be able to fully express her feelings about at present, as the brave toxin hasn't worn off enough to allow her to actually make the jump from extreme worry to actual terror. Finally, all she can say is, "What are we going to do?"
She doesn't quite notice that she said 'we' in spite of the fact that, for all she knows, whatever is going on may only involve Jon personally. But the fact of the matter is that if there's anything at all that she can do to assist Jon besides keep out of the way she'd gladly volunteer her help. Not that it's at all likely, at least as much as she can figure the odds, but if so perhaps she can give moral support? Does moral support even work on Jon?
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Jul 6, 2012 14:44:12 GMT -5
He had walked in with the intention of giving her the brave toxin dosage she had wanted. She had been under its influence several times now, enjoying it each time she did. Coming down from the brave toxin was a different matter entirely. He had noticed that she handled it better than anyone he had previously used it on, though he never had much time to study them. Having her close and this receptive to the drug was turning out to be quite insightful to its after effects. The way she was acting from the withdrawal was actually enough to make him think twice about giving the brave toxin to her again.
So that made it come down to a few questions within him. Why was he hesitant to give her the brave toxin in the first place? He could have just come in and given it to her, she wouldn’t have protested. Why did it matter that her withdrawals caught his attention? He was aware of what would happen without the brave toxin. Only recently was he able to study the effects up close with her, and right now he had his back to her. So why wasn’t he looking at her and instead taking in the state for her room?
He shook away the thought and continued to take in the rather messy room. He had other things he needed to focus on right now. VerMillions voice caught his attention and he slowly turned around, again tapping the needle at his side. She seemed more and more concerned with the riddle that Edward had left them with. Watching her carefully he listened to her emotional plea.
Finally she asked a legitimate question. His eyes locked with her for a moment before he motioned her to follow him to the bed. Carefully he stepped over the clothes on the floor and wrapped his free hand around the comforter on the edge of the bed. With one throw he tossed it upward to at least try and make the bed. It would be easier to sit if the bed was more level than it currently was. Dr. Crane sat down on the higher end of the bed near her nightstand and pillow. He lifted the syringe and waited for her to join him.
“I already know what I am going to do. What you can do is quite different.” He replied to her question vaguely. He knew that the first thing to do would be to figure out what this riddle meant, and then prepare for whatever would entail afterward. If Edward was trying to show him something it would be worth taking a look. If he was trying to warn him of something it would be worth preparing for regardless of it being an empty threat or not.
“Sit and I’ll give you this.” He motioned again toward the space next to him. Regardless he would rather she take her seat anyway than pace about the room. He didn’t ask her this time if she would like the shot or not.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Jul 6, 2012 20:55:08 GMT -5
If Heather manages the withdrawals better than anyone, it's probably largely due to the fact that she's used to it. The trick is to remain as calm as possible throughout the entire process since it's extremely easy to get more worked up and extremely difficult to calm back down when she's in this condition. Which is why in this particular instance she's actually doing a lot worse than normal - she's usually much calmer in this part of the process and with the worst still yet to come she finds herself worrying that she'll be unable to cope if it comes to that.
Yet she eases that worry by pointing out to herself that Jon is here with the brave toxin so everything will be fine. Hopefully things will be calmer by the time this next dose starts wearing off and she'll be able to come off of it more easily. Though there's a moment of hesitation before she follows him - while the brave toxin will cure the impending overload of fear, it will also make her forget her concern about the Riddler giving Jon a riddle. What if she needs to be concerned about that?
But in the end, she's always been a really big wuss when it comes to these withdrawals - she'll take the option of more brave toxin whenever she can get it. Knowing that it will make all of this worry go away within seconds is far too tempting to resist, even if she does have some concerns about it. The brave toxin will even get rid of the concerns themselves - it's like a 'get out of feeling responsible for anything free' card. So she sits on the bed next to Jon with a quiet sigh, completely lacking in her usual enthusiasm she usually has for getting her fix. There's just too many things to worry about going on in her head for her to concentrate on how it will be over in a moment.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Jul 13, 2012 14:19:32 GMT -5
Like an addict she came and sat beside him on the bed. His fingers went to her upper arm and lifted the sleeve that covered her shoulder. After he rolled it up a bit the needle was carefully angled at the middle of her skin and slid into it. The needle continued to glow with a neon red hue until it was completely pressed into her arm. A decent dosage that would fully take care of her fix. Pinching the fingers around her skin he pulled the needle out and laid it on the nightstand next to himself on the bed.
He waited in silence for a long moment after administering the injection. It wouldn't take long for it to fully course through her body and make her fears melt away. Waiting for the effect he studied her carefully, watching for her concern to fully leave her face. As much as he enjoyed seeing her this way it would be best if she wasn't worried about what was going on. Right now his mind was distracted from his work regardless.
The thought was actually strange, putting his obsessions aside to think about this. Edward had really placed a wedge between his plans, he just knew it. This man had a talent for doing this. The way he came and talked to him, it almost seemed surreal. He would have to figure out this riddle he left and he planned on doing it on his own. VerMillion had offered for them to work together on it but he wasn’t thrilled about the idea, she was already involved in this enough and Edward didn’t seem pleased by her at all. This was always his intention of course; he never planned for him to ever be pleased with her.
The Riddle went over and over in his head trying to think of something. The concerned pull in her muscles had completely faded and left an indifferent bored stare. Slowly Dr. Crane leaned back on her bed and stared at the ceiling above them with his legs still partially hanging off. “If you’ve had your fix I'm going to go work on figuring out what his visit meant and exactly the reasons why he came here.” Dr. Crane spoke softly from behind her as if his mind was lost in another world. He knew she wouldn't like be left out of the equation, but she was already involved in whatever Edward was planning. Even though he spoke his body didn’t move from the bed, just wanting to lay on it for a moment and reel the meeting over and over in his mind.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Jul 13, 2012 16:56:51 GMT -5
Though she's careful not to let her arm tense up and make it worse, Heather inhales sharply when she feels the needle before saying, "Ow!" Just because she sees it as totally worth it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. She keeps hoping that she'll get used to it eventually, but no. She's silent as she waits for the drug to take effect, knowing it won't take long. Even adjusting the dosage for someone of her size, any sort of substance in her system doesn't take long to take effect. Largely because there's just not that many other places in her for it to go before it reaches whatever part of her it needs to be.
And when it does take effect, she reacts to it far more visibly than the concern simply leaving her face. She lets herself collapse backward onto the bed, breathing a large sigh of relief as she remarks, "Oh my God, that's so much better!" Though she'd expressed a lot of the concern that she was feeling, that was simply a small window into the true amount. Having that all suddenly pulled away at once is a huge weight off of her shoulders. And also a bit disorienting, actually, as her thoughts had been so fear-based that having them all stop pretty abruptly is like the mental equivalent of getting the wind knocked out of you.
But Jon's words helpfully remind her what they'd been talking about, but her quiet, "Hmm," simply acknowledges that she heard him without showing any more interest in the subject than if he'd commented on the weather. Sure, she can recognize that the Riddler is probably up to something and that's probably not a good thing, but that's nothing to worry about. Either they'll figure out what his clue meant and everything will be fine, or they'll deal with whatever problem gets thrown at them and they'll be fine, so what's the worry?
And if all he has to work on is something so trivial, she sees no reason why he needs to go work on it immediately. But that's Jon for you; always caught up in his work. But since she sees no urgency, she doubts he'll mind if she delays him just a little. "I'm a real piece of work, you know that?" she says, shaking her head and staring at the ceiling, "I mean, the whole time you were gone, I was just sitting here just agonizing over everything. Like the whole damn world was going to fall apart if I didn't do anything and everything that I was just too scared to do. Well, now I'm not scared, but now all those things I thought were so important seem completely pointless. It's like I'm a completely different person with completely different priorities. And the other person needs to chill."
There's a brief pause as she ponders that for a moment, before she laughs to herself and looks over at Jon now laying next to her and comments, "Maybe I should throw her a bone. Because she keeps really, really wanting to do this one thing, especially now, but she keeps thinking that it's the most terrifying thing in the world and it's only getting worse."
She rolls in place a little so that she's facing Jon more directly, sitting up slightly as she slowly but confidently brings her hand to his face and uses a finger to guide it more toward her. Then she needs to only lean a little to place her lips on his. Even the most confident of people usually hesitate enough the first time they kiss someone to make the first one small - testing the waters a little before they diving in. But with no ability to fear the consequences of what she's doing she immediately takes his lower lip between hers, nothing but boldness in her movements as she slowly rubs the tip of her tongue along it - hinting that she'd very much like to kiss him even more deeply.
But though she's certainly not afraid to do so, there is a certain limit to what she'll do before giving a person a chance to protest. She's not at all afraid of rejection, though not because she's just that confident. It's more that she doesn't think that it would be that terrible. After all, if Jon doesn't like this now, that doesn't mean that he won't like it later. Which is why it didn't seem that important even though she isn't afraid to make the attempt - she figured that if he likes in her that way he'd get around to telling her eventually, so there was no need to hurry the process. But before the renewal of the brave toxin she'd been extremely worried that something would happen to Jon or her or both. But also worried that if she tried this he'd freak out and hurt her or something. Which is ridiculous - what man would not be flattered even if he wasn't interested?
And so, though she's uncertain of the outcome, she lets her lips linger, not closing her eyes so that she can see his reaction. And, of course, so that she can take this opportunity to see those amazing eyes of his so closely - they're somewhat purple when seen by the red light that illuminates this room, and somehow that makes them even more fascinating than usual.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Jul 19, 2012 22:35:57 GMT -5
Dr. Crane knew it would only be a matter of time before the brave toxin kicked into her system and she calmed down. As much as he enjoyed seeing her in a panic he didn’t care much for having to deal with it while he was dealing with something else. His first problem was figuring out the riddle he was left, and that would be placed into the front of his current priorities. Besides, he had seen her fears before and although he had much more he wanted to discover, it would have to be put on hold for now. It wouldn’t have been an intelligent choice to ignore what he had been given.
Dr. Cranes eyes were focused on the ceiling that held the red glare of the room. Though his focus was upon it his mind was in a distant place. His eyes took in a world unseen but his ears still listened to VerMillion as she spoke. At first he didn’t think anything of her words, an analysis of what she was going through as the toxin went through her. It was simply the poor ramblings of someone that thought they could understand why they were doing what they did.
His brows pulled together slightly as he continued to stare, he had noticed something significant. Her tone and pace of her voice had leveled out completely, and she was as normal as she was usually on the toxin. It was really her words that caught his attention at the end, not so much having to do with what she was saying but how she was saying it. Herself on brave toxin had vocally distinguished itself from her not having the toxin in her. She almost spoke like they were two completely different individuals, which in this case was not difficult to believe. However it was and extremely new find in his toxin and caught his attention.
Dr. Crane didn’t move as her body turned to roll closer to him. His eyes now focused to her wondering exactly what she was doing. Her hand traveled close to his face and made his skin pull and tense as it came forward. It was already denying the touch before it happened. The rest of him didn’t move however, not having much time before he hand guided him where she wanted it to go. Finally her lips connected with his without pause, without hesitation, an immediate connection. His eyes widened as their lips met and she began to run a gentle kiss along him. His body became stiff and frozen, his eyes lifted into another place entirely.
The scene of adolescence flashed into his mind, pictures of her rushing through his head. The many days he spent stalking her by the lockers just as quiet as he could be. Every now and then she’d give him a nervous glance in return. Rather than she never noticed him, she was too good for him. The ever pretty ever, popular Sherri Squires. She was the most beautiful girl in the school and also one of the most loved. In her cliché blue and silver laced cheerleading outfit she quickly collect her books at her locker and rush off to whatever activity she was onto next. Jonathan was only a few lockers down from her and got to see her nearly every day, but her active lifestyle was far from his. Jonathan was a short boy, lanky and limber, his muscle mass was close to nothing, and his face as riddled with blemishes and pimples. Nothing like what Dr. Crane was today, it wasn’t until after high school he hit a growth spurt and took to his height of 6’1 while managing to hold dashing defined facial features. In short she was out of his league; Sherri would never notice him and was never going to be with him. Though he was well aware of this fact he held on tightly to the small glimmer of light that the world called hope. Hoping that one day she might actually notice him or more than just the creepy guy a few lockers down from her.
That was before his dreams were fulfilled. It was difficult to believe that a boy as abused as he had once been had turned around so much, if that could be said. He was away from his abuser, it would never happen again but he did his share in challenges since. Jumping from foster home to foster home. The state owned him no family ever truly appreciated him or had him for too long. Still he managed through high school focused on getting an education and making something out of his life. Sherri was enough to bring what he knew was real out of focus and let him dream.
Sitting on a bench outside of school one day he loitered eating an apple as he often did. He would really do anything to avoid going home, not because his captors were more unpleasant than his last, he just had no care for family anymore. His desire to be around others was withering away. He could heard the sounds of several students passing him, girls giggling to themselves and the guys roaming and smoking in the parking lot. He took his last bite of the apple he held and threw it in the trashcan next to him. He had leaned over his book bag dropped the apple in and then sat back forward. He shifted slightly in his seat noticing someone was now sitting next to him.
He thought he was dreaming, there she sat Sherri Squires, right next to him. It wasn’t just that, she was actually looking at him. Her hair had partially dropped in front of her perfect face and with a what he was so sure was genuine smile pulled it back over her ear. “Hi” She spoke gingerly toward him. Jonathan stammered on a response, she couldn’t actually be talking to him. Now he knew he was dreaming, no one talked to him! He parted his lips in response but nothing came out, not even a crackle of anything he couldn’t even squeak through his hormonally changing voice. She giggled at his lack of response and then proceeded to ask him a question. “Do you want to go out with me?” Her head tilted as she spoke just trying to get a better look at him. Jonathan couldn’t even respond with words his only respond was a slight nod of his head to tell her he would very much like that.
It seemed like the perfect day. The only perfect day he had ever had. She had taken him out to the park and they walked for a long time. It was a cheap date, he didn’t have any money. It could be said with certainty that if he did he would have bought her whatever she wanted. Jonathan stayed quiet through most of the beginning of the date. She accepted his silence and had such an air about her that made him feel calm and safe. He carried a single pen and a notebook as they walked up to a small glade in the part with a large tree and several different types of flowers. She grabbed him by the hand and made him sit under the tree with her to watch the rest of the day go by. Sherri leaned her back against the tree and shifted over to see what Jonathan was doing. He had been drawing as the day came to a close. Sherri’s nose crumpled as she looked at his drawing. “What is that?” She asked as he pulled it away slightly. “It’s a scarecrow…” Jonathan spoke in a whisper. For a moment he looked up from it to see how she was reacting to his drawing. A sudden smile came over her face. “You’re good at that…” Sherri commented and grabbed his hand again. “It’s getting late; I have something to show you.” She added as she got him to pull up from the ground and follow her. She had something….to show him? Jonathan swallowed thoughts of a regular hormonal teenage boy flashing through his mind.
They walked back to the school as the sun began its slow decline in the sky. The school was not a very far walk but he was curious about what she might have had to show him there. It could have been anything; she was very popular and hung out at the school often with her click of friends. They finally arrived at the school and she opened the back doors to the gym which were usually open around this time for kids to play basketball if they wanted in the courts. She pulled him through the empty court, for a moment he found it odd knowing that kids were normally here, but right now his mind was too focused on where she was taking him and why. She was dragging him toward the back where the locker rooms where. Just before they had to choose which one to enter she stopped him and made him look at her.
Jonathan did look at her; she was all he could see. Without another word she leaned in and kissed him. It was a sweet kiss; it was always as he thought it might be. His mind made it into everything he wanted it to be even though he just stood there like a startled deer. She had elongated the kiss and even bit his bottom lip as she finally trailed it off and pulled back with a giggle. Quickly she grabbed his hand from there and pulled him into the girl’s locker room. He could only assume what was going to happen next, he couldn’t believe it, it was all happening so fast. He had never imagined his first time would be like this with the most beautiful woman in the world. He walked into the showers with her and she playfully tossed him forward toward a corner. He stared at it for a moment not really knowing what to do. Slowly he turned around moving his feet heel to heel expecting her to be doing something like he had seen on television.
His face went pale as he saw Sherri backing up toward the exit of the small shower room. She was replaced by the entrance of Bo Grigg’s not only the captain of the football team and one of the most popular kids in school, but also one of the most intimidating. He was followed by his crew, two other boys from the team. Jonathan backed up until he hit the cold wall behind him as the three closed in. “So you think you can kiss my girlfriend!?” Grigg’s shouted at the cowering child before him. Jonathan didn’t even know how to respond. What was going on? Sherri!? Where was she!? Through the towering three he could almost see her leaning against the doorway in the back. The Sherri he had seen before wasn’t the one he was seeing now. The genuine smile she held before had now faded into an amusement that wrenched at his heart. At that moment Grigg’s picked him up by the collar and yelled at him. “You looking at my girlfriend!??!” His movement became even more hostile as he spoke. The two behind him began to pound their fists together to intimidate him. Jonathan squirmed and cried out clawing at anything he could to try and get out of his hold. As he held him up against the wall and Jonathan began to kick, Bo finally took the first swing into his face.
They proceeded to beat him ruthlessly and without mercy. They didn’t stop until there was nothing but a bloodied broken mess of what Jonathan formerly was on the floor. He couldn’t move, he was positive that some of his limbs were broken. He began to shake on the floor, his body most likely going into shock from the trauma, the last thing he remembered about that night was Bo walking away with Sherri under his arm as she laughed and laughed. When he was found the following morning Jonathan was in critical condition, and was hospitalized for a week before he was finally allowed to return.
Though the images in his head might have seemed like agonizing days it was the mere moments that her kiss had lingered on him. Suddenly the life fell back into his eyes like someone had dropped something rather heavy in the room. His chest had jumped like he had not been breathing at all during the experience. His fingers stammered for a moment before he harshly grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her off. His force was not withdrawn or held back to get her off of him but he could have easily done worse if he had the means to. He ran a hand through his hair and got to his feet immediately from where he was laying half on the bed. Wasting no time he went straight to the door and walked out of it closing it behind him.
He hadn’t looked at her; he hadn’t done anything to show her any kind of response other than distaste for what she had done. That was exactly what he wanted. He didn’t do that, that wasn’t a part of any of this. His mind had flashed to Edward and exactly what had happened with him. Dr. Crane ran a hand through his hair and tried to collect himself. His pulse was racing; he couldn’t think straight, everything was suddenly so unclear. These feelings were extremely uncomfortable. They were so foreign and yet so familiar. His recent action with Edward he was going to have to come to terms with in his mind and analyze exactly what it was…..He knew what it was. Shaking his head in disbelief at himself he tried to pull it together. He knew why he was doing this and he needed to rear it back and let the emotion go. He wasn’t capable of this sort of thing, it wasn’t real. None of it was real.
He took a moment to just lean against the door even though it was shut knowing he couldn’t leave her like that even though he wanted to. It would have been easier to walk away from the situation entirely and leave her there to revel in her boredom. He couldn’t leave like that simply because he had to live with her. With a heavy sigh he straightened and finally dropped the emotion in his face and features, pushing everything down and bringing all feeling to an extreme halt. This was second nature to him, all of it was just a mask, a façade that human’s used to cover the only thing that was real.
Slowly his hand turned the doorknob and he entered in once more. He didn’t look at VerMillion at first but simply stepped inside and kept his view toward the ceiling watching the dim light in the room. His features were stone cold and his eyes glared a darker shade in the lighting. With a calculated breath he finally turned to face her, catching her eyes with his own. Everything had been set out in his mind exactly what he was going to say but nothing had come out immediately. Why was he at a loss for words? He always knew what to say in every situation. His lips parted to say something again but again he said nothing.
It was almost like he was sitting in the room with Sherri again the way his words were taken away. The thought was uncomfortable but he couldn’t get it out of his mind. He didn’t take VerMillion to be exactly like her in personality or demeanor but she could be exactly like her. That was how he took most women, liars and deceivers, using what they have to gain the upper handle on the opposite sex. It was a disgusting display a manipulation of false emotion. What was even more sickening was that others actually fell for it. Men were not ousted from the situation entirely, but they used their method in another way entirely. It didn’t mean they weren’t capable of lying or deceit in fact it was exactly the same just displayed differently. In this case in particular did he hold VerMillion to the same light he held Sherri…yes. He had no reason to believe otherwise.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Jul 20, 2012 0:06:33 GMT -5
As her lips linger on his, Heather notices the distance in his eyes. It's perplexing - probably because she herself wouldn't be able to relive some past trauma that reminds her of the present right now. If it even came to mind, such a memory wouldn't seem to have any bearing on the present while she's incapable of fearing.
Though it isn't more than a few moments until he seems to come back to himself and is suddenly pushing her away. And quite forcefully too, though she mainly looks surprised by the suddenness of it. She can only frown in confusion when he then proceeds to leave so abruptly, as she certainly hadn't been expecting a reaction like that. While she has no idea what sort of reaction she was expecting, for him to just push her away like that and leave seems... bizarre.
Pushing herself up, she sits cross-legged on her bed, pondering for a moment. She notes with some satisfaction that she proved the fears that she'd had without the toxin were wrong - he didn't get angry and hurt her. Well, her shoulder hurts a little, but that seemed more due to haste than anger. The fear before was saying that it would put Jon into a rage and she'd get hurt or killed, but that clearly is not the case. But if that wasn't anger, what was it?
She considers for a moment whether or not she ought to go after him. Not to chase him down, but to see if he's willing to talk if he didn't go far. Perhaps she should apologize if he didn't like it? It was a rather sudden thing for her to do - but that's what she gets for paying any attention to the stupid thoughts she gets in her head while she's able to be afraid. Not for the first time she finds herself wondering why Jon seems to think it's such a good idea for her to not be on the drug so much. Her head is so much clearer this way.
Yet she's unable to come to any conclusions or make any solid decisions about what to do next when she hears her doorknob turning. After leaving like that he's coming back again so soon? She gives a small, confused laugh at that. "What was all that about?" she asks, mystified and still quite surprised by how he's acting. Especially the way he now seems to want to say something and doesn't.
It's then that a wave of realization crosses her face. She laughs again - a light, disbelieving sound that's far more of a result of her simply being both in a rather pleasant mood yet very confused at the same time, as if suspecting that he's playing some sort of a prank on her that will turn out to be completely hilarious. "Why are you so afraid of me?" she asks, sounding utterly lost yet enjoying every moment of it.
That's an emotion that she's not accustomed to seeing from Jon, and not necessarily one that's easy for her to read in others when she's on brave toxin. But she's observed that while she's on the drug that people who are being fearful suddenly make no sense at all to her. And while even at the best of times Jon is prone to being utterly confusing, at the moment he's taken it to a vastly different level and that's the only logical explanation for it that she can see.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Jul 24, 2012 2:44:01 GMT -5
VerMillion was not the only person that he had shared a connection of the lips with recently. It had been some time since Edward and him had done anything like that, but it wasn’t nearly the distance between the last time he had been kissed by a woman. The very thought was maddening that he had kissed anyone, such a waste of time. How did he lose himself in all of this, with Edward, now VerMillion had gotten away with it while his guard was down?
Regardless there was a major difference between the two. Dr. Crane had never taken much into consideration when it came to gender. Homosexuality, Heterosexuality and Bisexuality were just all made up words to try and categorize ones thoughts for passion. It was just another way to cover their fears and turn it into something positive. The notion of categorizing something that was branded to be so powerful was ridiculous regardless. Everyone in the world was too blind to see it however. Dr. Crane didn’t normally engage in the activity, nor did he provoke any conversation into the matter of sexuality or intimacy in general. He saw it as a waste of time; it was all a façade to begin with there was little point in acting upon it. It did nothing for his research…So he didn’t care for it.
His reactions to both intimate situations he had recently were quite different. Edward’s actually came with a much shorter mental break down than what had happened here. It was more of shock and awe that he had actually initiated such an act with him after they had been at each other’s throats. The tension between them had always been there, but that was the first night it was acted upon. Dr. Crane still initially denied the touch and was not extremely pleased with what came afterward but logic had been thrown aside. When he had reacted to VerMillion it activated a psychological response that differed slightly from Edwards. Just the simple touch was enough to elicit a short flashback into his past, psychologically would have been diagnosed as a PTSD incident. It was easier for him to go their immediately with her simply because she was female, and in that aspect reminded him of Sherri Squires.
His attention was pulled from his thoughts as she asked him what exactly had just happened. How could he even begin to explain that to her? She wouldn’t understand, why would she even listen to such a thing? Dr. Crane wasn’t going to talk to her about his past but he could enlighten her on exactly what happened. He parted his lips to answer but he was quickly interrupted by her second question. One that was far more severe.
Dr. Crane’s eyes narrowed toward her. The calm and collected demeanor seemed to leave and be replaced with an eerily unstable likeness. “I am not afraid of you.” He snapped in a sharp voice. “I am fear…” He continued, calming his voice from the moment of anger it had held. Dr. Crane sighed and ran a hand through his hair trying to think of how he was going to explain this to her. How could she possibly understand? Slowly he walked toward the bed again and sat down, this time much further to the edge and with quite a bit of distance between them. ”It’s best if you refrain from throwing yourself a bone. I don’t necessarily enjoy being touched. I am not afraid of you because I am fear itself. I know this is a difficult concept for you to understand. Whatever, you believe ‘Heather’ is feeling isn’t real; this needs to be extremely clear to you. This attraction, whatever it is that made you do that, is what you’re feeding yourself out of a false principal.” With a heavy sigh he dropped his hand to his knee and looked to the messy floor before.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Jul 24, 2012 11:17:24 GMT -5
His answer to her question causes Heather's eyebrow to tilt skeptically. "You're sure acting like you are," she says, unable to help another laugh. And she can't help it that it seems comical to her. Right now she can't see the point of anyone acting that way at all, in any situation. Especially not Jon. He might as well put on a tutu and dance with the sugar plum fairies - it simply seems so unlike him. And though the hint of anger is noted, it doesn't carry any sort of warning value to her whatsoever at the moment - while he's claiming no fear of her, she definitely has no fear of him at all.
Yet when he sits and tries to explain himself further, she suppresses her amusement and listens to him carefully. But he's hardly more than halfway through when she shakes her head in disbelief. No, no, no. She's not the one who doesn't understand, he is. "You're talking like you think that I don't feel that way now," she observes, "No, the only difference in the way I feel right now is that I don't see why my fearful side wanted so badly to do that now. I mean, what's the hurry? And don't tell me that it's not a real feeling - how am I feeling it then?" Even as she talks she finds her eyes drifting back to his lips. She wants to kiss him again - she wants him to kiss her back. But she does note how far away he's seated himself and realizes that he probably did that just so that she wouldn't.
Pulling herself away from that thought, she adds, "I've felt this way ever since you brought me here - I was drugged then too. I mean, I didn't feel it so strongly back then, but I definitely remember feeling it." Her memories of when she was on brave toxin before are a lot more clear than the rest of her memories. "It's just that when I'm not on it I feel like I should do something about it, immediately, but I'm too scared to. But at least now my fearful self will know you won't kill me for kissing you," she comments, before laughing at her own fears, "That's kind of a dramatic fear, isn't it?" She laughs at herself again and shakes her head.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Jul 24, 2012 12:54:49 GMT -5
Dr. Crane simply ignored her first comment; there was little reason to continually repeat himself on the matter. After everything she had seen so far she should have known by now that he was fear itself. If she couldn’t see that then she was blinded by her own reasoning to disbelieve it. It was something that she was telling herself, some logic or reasoning that her brain told her to comfort her. Of course even through the influence of the toxin, if her brain had registered this as so she would still recognize it as that, just understand it differently.
The fact simply was that she didn’t understand how brave toxin worked and the exact things it shut down and left open. “Brave toxin essentially blocks-“ He stopped himself and tried to lower his vocabulary out of medical terms so she could understand better. “The fight or flight response, it doesn’t necessarily get rid of fear or any of its basis, it blocks your ability to react to it..” He tried to explain it to her turning slightly toward her on the bed. His hands lifted and held the conversation like he really understood what he was talking about. It was something he could talk to her about all day and remain interested. These explanations, though given in greater detail were the same to those of the board when they were presented. All they did was merely prove he was right, but unfortunately society deemed it unethical, that there was no purpose in his work.
His eyes seemed to look through her after he carried through his explanation as if he was waiting for some sort of response. Above all he wanted her to at least try to understand the meaning behind his work. The fact that he did want her to understand it confused him for a moment and brought his mind deeper into thought. It was quickly brought out from the depths as she confessed that she had always liked him, from almost the very start.
Dr. Crane fell very silent as she said that trying to register it in his mind. The feeling made him very uncomfortable immediately making him shift in his seat. He parted his lips to speak but again nothing came out. The words to respond to affection just simply didn’t leave his mouth because he had bore it into himself that these emotions were a veil. Without commenting on it he simply shook it off and stood leaning down to grab her wrist. “There are more pressing matters at hand right now.” He spoke with a nod trying to focus himself back on his work. Above all this riddle that was left needed to be figured out. With a gentle pull he lifted her from the bed and expect her to follow him out to the lab.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Jul 26, 2012 2:18:24 GMT -5
When Jon tries to clarify the exact effect that the toxin is having on her, Heather frowns slightly at his words and pauses for a long moment as she tries to make sense of it. Her face finally twists in confusion as she asks, "So... the toxin makes it so that I can feel scared, but not act scared?" At least, that's what it sounds like he's trying to say. But that doesn't make any sense! "But I don't feel scared. At all," she states with a frown, now trying to work out whether she's not understanding him or whether what he said does actually make as little sense as she thinks it does.
She actually does genuinely want to understand and is therefore actually trying to. Which is actually a bit odd for her, because she'd never taken much if any interest in psychology before meeting Jon and she's not in the habit of trying to do anything difficult unless she cares about it. And understanding Jon's ideas is very difficult - even more so when she's on brave toxin. It's a lot easier to learn about a thing when it's present rather than when it's taken from you.
Yet in spite of her genuine attempt to get what he's saying, she can't help but give an amused smile as she sees Jon attempting to respond to her confession about the longevity of the emotion she expressed with that kiss but failing. Yep, definitely seems scared to her! And when he says something that's obviously entirely different from what had been on his mind and grabs her wrist, she can't help but laugh. "Typical. Woman explains feelings, man changes subject," she comments, though she doesn't try to resist him physically as he lifts her to her feet. "The least you could do is admit that it was a good kiss," she adds. While brave toxin gives her no small amount of not always deserved self-confidence, she knows that it's deserved in this case. She's had a lot of practice after all... though even on the toxin she knows better than to tell Jon that.
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Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow
"and at the end of fear...Oblivion"
Player: Jon ~
Registered On: Feb 15, 2012 20:39:14 GMT -5 ~
Posts: 941
~ Relationship Status: Won't Say I'm In Love
~ Partner: Fear
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Post by Jonathan Crane - Scarecrow on Jul 30, 2012 13:10:53 GMT -5
It seemed that she was genuinely trying to understand the concept but she didn’t quite get it. The drug was a bit more complicated than she had explained. Yes, it prevented the ability to act upon it but that doesn’t mean just because she didn’t feel it that it wasn’t there. The flight or fight response was essentially our bodies protection from danger. Meaning despite what conscious choices you made the ability to defend yourself was nearly gone. If she truly wanted to understand he could make it clearer.
The thought of wanting to make it clearer for her echoed in his mind. Why did he even want to make it clearer for her if he knew she couldn’t grasp it? If it wasn’t for him she would still be locked within societies grasp, though he had lifted her from it she wasn’t entirely detached from the world. Dr. Crane shook the thought from his mind. If she wanted to learn and understand she would have to show it for herself and watch him more closely in his work. She would have to accept that she would never see it like he did or do more to help herself understand. Dr. Crane was not in the habit of helping others.
Dr. Crane winced slightly as he was asked to admit that it was at least a good kiss. She was really beginning to push her luck with this. He had nothing to admit to her, what was a bad kiss? Why did it matter to her? It was a ridiculous thought that he wanted to wipe from his mind immediately. All of these distractions only further reminded him why it was so important to avoid contact like this. So much time had already been taken up just experiencing this. He couldn’t lie to myself and say that it hadn’t affected him in some small way. In fact his mind was racing about it. Although that was happening he kept his composure, not showing any of it outwardly.
Right now he just wanted to get back to work. He held her wrist in his hand and pulled her along behind him toward the door in the front of her room. “Let’s go” He said almost as a slip. His mind was so focused on trying to get out of this room and get back to his work he hadn’t even noticed. A small wince happened after he said the word having a bad taste in his mouth after it. ‘Lets’ was a word he rarely used, but it had been showing up more and more lately.
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Post by Heather Glass - VerMillion on Jul 30, 2012 18:13:55 GMT -5
When he doesn't really respond to her attempt to explain how she's failing to understand, Heather frowns. Because she really does want to, knows that she isn't, and getting absolutely no feedback does not help things at all. "Hey, how am I supposed to get anything right if you're not going to tell me how I'm getting it wrong?" she demands to know. It's not like she has any sort of background in psychology to help her understand anything, after all, so this is not something she could figure out if she simply thought about it hard enough and she knows it.
The real reason why she hasn't really tried very hard to understand anything that Jon says is because in order to get anything out of him you have to try really hard. And she's just not a huge fan of making that big of an effort at anything. Yes, she's a bit lazy that way - so sue her. But that time she felt like she was getting close, so the fact that he's not really helping her is far more frustrating than it would normally be. His silence feels to her like she's being dismissed like some idiot who will never get anything and that he therefore doesn't want to waste his time.
Though when she spots his wince as she mentions the kiss again, she can't help but burst out laughing again. Now what was so bad about that statement? She knows that it wasn't because he didn't like the kiss, but can't figure out what that look means then. Later, when her mind is no longer clouded by brave toxin, she'll come to the conclusion that it means that he did like the kiss - it would have been easy enough to say that he didn't if he didn't - but that he doesn't know what to do with that. A feeling that she'll be able to empathize with at that point, because while she won't be able to argue that she hadn't wanted to kiss him she'll have a very hard time trying to decide if she should have.
But at present, Heather's content to leave it at that. While it's actually kind of fun pestering Jon about it, that's really the only reason that she has to do it. And she likes him too much to want to tease him to the point that it gets too harsh. Besides, when he includes her in his desire to get back to work, she remembers the Riddler's riddle. Oh yeah... While she doesn't feel any particular pressure to try and figure it out, she's never done such a thing before and that could actually prove to be an interesting challenge. And it's not like she's any stranger to researching things - as long as it's the type of research you do by looking things up on the internet rather than the type that involves test tubes. "Okay!" she agrees as she steps quickly to keep up with him as he heads out of the room.
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