Silent Ill [Ivy]

[The Joker]

Joker was sitting on a chair, wearing his purple suit, his green hair perfectly combed and his red lipstick set in a perfect smile. His illness wasn't showing tonight. In fact, he had taken particularly cure of himself, he had a business deal to attend to...you know, making a deal with the Devil and all that. Although, Joker didn't look like a Devil, in fact clowns weren't supposed to look like Devils, but Joker didn't need to seem like one. He was even worse than the Devil...at least that was what the Jester and his victims thought about him...well, his victims couldn't think anymore...they had thought it before dying...details.

However, the Joker was sure of something: the green-skinned woman wasn't afraid of him. Maybe she wasn't so afraid because of her immunity to his 'Potion of Happiness', but she couldn't be immune to the acid itself. Also, she probably thought that being Harley's bestie could protect her, pffff, that made him laugh. Popular opinion was that Joker didn't like Pamela...and how could he? If he liked Harley then how could he like someone like Miss Green? Ivy was all that Harley wasn't...if that made sense. Nothing made sense in the crazy clown's mind.

In reality, Joker didn't have an actual opinion about the Green Thumb mascot. He only really disliked her if she was being all big protective sister to Harley, trying to manipulate the blondie away from him. Actually, that wasn't even it because Joker knew that Harley leaving him was never gonna happen and also he knew that he could always manipulate her whenever and how he wanted. Harley had fallen in love, fallen deep into his madness.

So, what did he dislike about the flora fanatic? Mhhh, probably those criminal shows that Harley staged with Pamela. Yes, that was it. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn did actually work well together and succeeded to do what they had in mind most of the time, bringing back various kind of precious loots. That. The 'goods'. Harley was his, and nah, not in a romantic way, she was his property so everything that she owned was his too. That was what he didn't like about the woman who stopped to smell the flowers. It was like stealing from him.

Other than that, Joker didn't care enough to have an opinion about Ivy. He enjoyed her carnivorous plants, though. That was why he had a bucket filled with human hands that he may or may not cut himself. Joker was sitting in front of some carnivorous plants, feeding them the hands. In the meanwhile, a song was playing thanks to an old-fashioned record player that Joker had brought with him, also he had found some way to make it work. The clown liked antique stuff. The song was "It's Not Easy Being Green" by Ray Charles. Of course, Joker was singing along. He thought he had a nice in tune voice and frankly it was true. The choosing of the song was meant to be ironic seen Ivy's skin colour. He could actually make fun of that as a 'Welcome to the Club' kind of joke, he was completely white after all and not in a racist way. It was just an obvious fact.

Joker stopped the record player standing up when the song finished and the plants stopped eating then turned their...ehm...heads? towards a specific direction "Oh, mummy is back!" Joker smiled then he rose his voice so that Pamela could hear him "Welcome home, honey! How was your day?" banter between the clown and the gardener was always there especially because Joker always started it "Let's not argue in front of the babies!" he said feeding another hand to one of the plants that accepted it greatly.

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

Though being on the list of people that Poison Ivy doesn't like is as easy as being an adult male, she reserves a particular dislike for the clown. Even if Harley wasn't in the picture, she would despise him. She was born and raised as a multi-millionaire heiress - proper etiquette is important to her. In her world, while it's permissible to be unkind and cruel, these things must be done a particular way. There is a long list of things that one simply does not do, and the Joker completely ignores this list. He is crass, he is juvenile, he makes a mockery of every social grace, and generally earns her ire for everything he does. And she's pretty sure that he's aware of this and kicks it up a notch whenever she's around, just to be extra difficult.

Take now, for instance - here he is, in a placed she has quite clearly claimed as her own, not attempting to first locate her so that he can state his intentions and determine whether or not he's welcome (he is not), but is taking the liberty to feed her babies without either her consent or permission. If he were anyone else, she would kill him immediately. Instead, even before she herself comes into his sight, she sends her vines ahead of her to restrain him by binding his wrists and ankles so that she doesn't have to worry about where he's going and what he's touching. It's bad enough that his very presence forces her to speak with him.

Especially since he's probably quite aware that he doesn't really need to fear her actually doing anything to him. Which is quite annoying, actually - everything would be so much easier if he would simply fear her a bit. Unfortunately, her relationship with Harley forces her to stay her hand. They might be best friends, but Poison Ivy knows that Harley would never forgive her if she did anything to the Joker. Not right now anyway - she's been attempting to convince her bestie that her choice in men is... well, terrible... since the moment that they first met. And in spite of her apparent lack of progress, still she maintains hope that someday she will be able to free Harley from that horrible relationship. And then she can kill the Joker. Or, better yet, watch as her best friend does the deed herself.

Sadly, that day is not today. Which means that she now has to, ugh, talk to him. Finally moving to where she can see him, she looks anything but amused by his antics. Instead she coldly states, "You are trespassing, clown." She makes that last word a slur, as if anyone who fits the description of 'clown' is the scum of the earth. It's only then that she notices the record player, and the song that it's playing causes no amusement whatsoever. Ignoring the fact that the item is possibly a valuable antique, she mentally orders one of the very plants that the Joker had been feeding moments ago to smash the thing. And now that they're in the presence of their mother, they do what they're told instead of following their basic instincts. Turning her attention back to him, she says, "What do you want?" Because she suspects that he wants something. Either that or he just felt like feeding hands to her plants - which she wouldn't put past him - but she suspects that it's a bit more likely that he wants something.

[The Joker]

Joker's feet kicked the bucket by mistake when the vines got him. However, the clown was laughing looking at the vines around his wrists and ankles "Kinky! Now I know where Harley got this idea from!" this was a joke just to annoy the green woman, in fact he even winked at her once she was on sight.  "Am I trespassing?! Flowers and grass are everywhere! You are the one who trespasses, gardener!" clown-logic. Then, Joker heard something smashing and the music stopping. Argh! Greeny couldn't appreciate good music at all! "What?! You didn't like it because the singer was a male?" Joker mocked her.

"Right to business, huh? Why does Harley like you again?" sarcastic question that could lead to a very sarcastic reply about why Harley liked him in the first place. However, he really needed to talk about this, so, yeah, straight to business. Joker's expression changed like day to night, before it was very mocking-like, but it was a serious expression now. It was almost irritating seeing the Joker changing his personality so easily like changing a card. Well, life was just a game for the Joker and card games were what the clown liked best. He had even his own deck.

Everyone knew that the Joker could be an excellent actor and impersonator. But, he was being really serious right now. Joker had hidden his illness, but otherwise his body would have shown it. Joker cleared his throat and shook his body a little like if he was trying to be more comfortable in such predicament, it was sarcastic of course.

"Harley is immune to my toxin thanks to you. You found a cure. Find another one for me" it was better if he explained better himself. It sounded like that he wasn't immune to his toxin anymore which was impossible because the clown was an immune carrier "Something is happening to me, you have to find out what and cure it" he knew that Pamela could do it. But, why should she do it? "If you don't then Harley will know what kind of friend you really are...letting her boyfriend die....that's not what friends are for" Joker smiled staring at Ivy. He knew that Pamela cared about her friendship with Harley.  

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

The problem with attempting to annoy Poison Ivy at the moment is that it's impossible to be more than 100% annoyed, and she'd reached that state even before the clown opened his mouth. So she stands there and stares at him with an extremely annoyed and unamused expression on her face, not exactly ignoring what he's saying but waiting for him to say something worthy of a response. And that's not the bondage joke, or the gardener joke, or the joke about the singer.

Oh, but the question about what why Harley likes her? "Because, unlike you, I treat her with kindness and respect," she says, the disgust quite obvious in her voice. As much as a part of her doesn't want to react to anything he says outside of what will get him out of her hair as quickly as possible, but she can't resist the chance to express her feelings about how much better off Harley is with her company instead of his.

But after that jab, they do indeed get down to business. When he tells her what he wants, her eyebrow lifts in slight surprise. As she continues to listen to his explanation, her expression is very neutral and difficult to read. However, when he goes on to tell her why she should do it, she suddenly bursts out laughing. Shaking her head, she walks toward him and stops when she's only a few feet away. Then she answers his request with one word. "No," she says simply.

Expecting him to protest further about how her friendship with Harley obligates her to do something, she explains why it doesn't. He's not the only one who can seem to change his personality like a card - she's always been an excellent actress, especially if it will get her what she wants. Her expression changes from being annoyed to being upset and distressed - in fact, it almost looks like she's a hair away from actually crying as she says, "I'm so sorry, Harley! There was nothing I could do! Yes, I know I can do miracles sometimes, but even I have my limits!"

But as soon as she finished with this demonstration, her expression just as abruptly switches to one expressing both contempt of him and a certain smugness about herself. True, because of her friendship she can't outright kill him herself, but allow him to die of something that isn't her fault? No problems there! Just as long as Harley doesn't hold her responsible, and she's quite confident that she can convince her best friend that she's incapable of fixing whatever it is that's ailing him.

[The Joker]

Pamela said something about kindness and respect "Really? Harl isn't into that..." he joked with a smile and then his smile disappeared hearing Pammy's next words. For a moment he seemed defeated and sad about such defeat, but then Joker moved his head backwards and let out one of his loud laughter, he laughed for almost half a minute, he couldn't stop, tears were following down his cheeks, but those were amused tears.

"She is gonna hate you either way, or because you couldn't save me or because she'll knew that you are lying: I'm the most important person in her life, not you" and it was true, he was the person who made Harley who she was, he was the man that she loved...she was crazy in love. No one could beat that and Joker knew it. He had created it after all "Your bestie will hate you"Joker smiled "and you know it" it was as simple as that. Joker made sure of that. Joker was here in the first place because he knew that Pamela could do something and Harley knew him well enough to understand his actions.

Harley always forgave him, but because she loved him, Pamela wasn't going to be so lucky, especially if she did something against him. Joker was the one with the upper hand. Oh, well, technically his hands were tied now, but still. Joker moved his head to the left and right, he was surrounded by her plants, carnivorous one, but he wasn't afraid a little bit. He knew that he was safe, Pamela was too intelligent to hurt him. Also, she was intelligent enough to understand what he meant, he believed.

Joker looked back at Ivy with his acid-green eyes and rose a brow then he smiled. Her only option was to help him if she wanted Harley's friendship and Joker was sure that Pamela wanted a friend, at least one. Harley wasn't just a friend, she was her best friend. Joker had observed them together, he knew how much important Harley was for Ivy. Sure, someone could say that Harley was important for Joker too, but that was completely another story.

  

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

"Shows what you know," Poison Ivy retorts at the clown's disgusting attempt at being humorous.

Pleased with herself about his inability to so easily coerce her into helping him, her mood sours quickly when he starts to laugh. Her nose visibly wrinkles in disgust at the sound - in fact, since he keeps at it for so long that she begins to doubt that he intends to stop, she actually begins to consider leaving. The only thing that causes her to hesitate is the fact that of course she doesn't want to leave him here alone with her babies - no, she'll need to outright kick him out of the garden.

Though while she's contemplating that, he starts to explain what exactly he thinks is so funny. But if he thought that those words would put even a sliver of doubt in her heart, he's bound to be disappointed. Instead of looking worried, her expression hardens into one of deadly seriousness. "The moment that you are gone, I will be the most important person in her life. Because of you, she has nobody else to turn to - nobody else who cares anything for her. Even if some small part of her even slightly suspects me, she won't want to believe it. As long as there is no blood on my hands she'll be just as happy to forget those suspicions as she is to forget every single thing you've ever done to her," she states, a hint of a smile coming to her face as she adds, "Don't worry, I will take care of her. I will help her forget all about you. Or perhaps she'll spend the rest of her days furious with you for abandoning her. Either way, she will have a long, and happy life."

Yes, she's sure that the Joker knows Harley, but she knows the girl too. He may have made her what she is, but he didn't shape her out of nothing - before she was Harley Quinn, she was Dr. Harleen Quinzel. And that is the part of her that Poison Ivy knows best. True, Poison Ivy didn't know the girl back then, but then again Harley didn't know her before she became Poison Ivy. That doesn't mean their past lives aren't still a part of them - a deep, foundational part of them - and that this is what makes them kindred spirits. Two women who followed their passion for a science to such a degree that they pursued a higher degree. Of course, Poison Ivy did so with much higher grades than Harley, but a doctorate is still a doctorate.

And they've both been the victims of men - that's another thing they have in common. Yes, whether or not Harley is willing to see herself as a victim depends greatly on whether or not she's angry with the Joker at the time, but whenever the clown couple are at odds with each other Harley is just lovely to talk to.

[The Joker]

"You are comparing me to you...?" Joker laughed again "There is a reason why she has always forgotten what I do to her and sometimes she even remembers, but she doesn't care" Joker smiled "Do you know what obsession is? Harley is in love with me, Ivy...but you can't understand, can you?" the clown looked at the green woman up and down with a sigh "Of course you can't...well then all this conversation is useless, you'll see that I'm right when it is too late and Harley kills all your beloved plants" he pictured it in his head and laughed again.

There was a reason why Harley always chose Joker over Ivy even when the two women were together for awhile. Harley had always called him even if Ivy had told her not to do that, even if Ivy had tried to make Harley understand that Joker was poison to her...although...the only poisonous person here was actually Ivy. But, Harley always came back to Joker and she always would. Trust, even Joker himself had tried to get rid of her and that hadn't worked either so...what there was between Harley and Joker was way stronger than what friendship was.

However, you had to have what Harley and Joker had in order to understand, but Ivy didn't have it so...the green woman couldn't understand. Joker got it now. So, Joker just pushed his head back and listened to her blabbing "Whatever, Green, it's useless" explaining it to her "What there is between me and Harley is something that you can't grasp" because she had never had it. Ivy hadn't never been love-obsessed with another man. Actually, she hated men, especially the clown and Joker knew that of course.

Joker let out a sigh "She will be depressed if I die, unhappy every single day, I'm her happiness, I'm what made her who she is, I'm the person who she loves" he was a lot of things and he was saying the truth "If you really were her friend then you would help me instead of just listening to your hatred that you feel for me" she was being selfish basically. However, Joker was saying this with a sigh, knowing that Ivy couldn't understand. It was like talking to a wall...covered in ivy.

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

When asked if she's comparing the two of them, Ivy immediately scoffs, "Perish the thought!" Though that's all she says at first, letting the clown ramble on about how she doesn't know what love is. The idea is so laughable that she gives him a derisive laugh. "Do I know what obsession is? Such insolence! Love, attraction, obsession, lust, infatuation - these are things that I am intimately familiar with, darling, while you're merely a babe in the woods who thinks that he knows everything," she replies dismissively, finding his statements that she is anything less so absurd that they don't even phase her. Well, the comment about Harley killing her plants does bother her just a little - not because she believes it might actually happen, but the fact that he'd even joke about it is disgusting.

But it's just as easy for her to dismiss his restatment about his relationship with Harley. "Oh, I can grasp it easily, darling - what you can't grasp is the sheer depth of your own ignorance on the subject. But I have no desire or reason to educate you," is all she says, because she finds the idea of attempting to actually argue the point to be completely useless - even if she won that argument, would it benefit her in any way?

Now sounding that combination of annoyed and tired that indicates that she's really not enthused by the fact that now he's making her repeat herself, Poison Ivy responds by saying, "Of course she'll be upset if you die. But then she'll get over it. And then she'll realize that she's better off without you. But yes, these things do take time - I never said that it wouldn't. But I care too much about Harley to even consider helping you." And he's not about to convince her that his death wouldn't be great for Harley. Yes, it would be best if the girl took care of him herself, but a horrible disease is certainly acceptable. She hopes that it's a painful disease - the clown deserves it.

[The Joker]

Joker laughed again, Ivy thought that she understood love only because she could produce pheromones. That wasn't even love by the way. Harley had a boyfriend and she was in love, but Ivy? Nope. The only love that she could feel was for her plants and that wasn't the kind of love that there was between Joker and Harley "Oh really? And where is your boyfriend? Eaten by a plant?" the clown laughed "If you really understood then you would know that Harley wouldn't ever get over it" maybe even Joker would be depressed if something happened to Harley, sure, he wouldn't ever admit it, not even to himself, that he liked Harley even more than he thought...but yeah, he would probably go all depressed if something happened to his Harlequin. Perhaps the depression would fade from time to time, especially those times where he fought Batsy, but thinking about it wouldn't make him happy. No one could take her place after all. Only Harley did everything that Joker wanted. So, the clown actually protected the harlequin from danger seen that Joker didn't want Harley to be dead so Ivy could see it that way too.

By the way, Joker called the woman in front of him Green because Harley called her Red instead and he knew that he couldn't convince her with words, but he had had to try for Harley's sake so that he could tell her that he had tried to be nice. But, it was over now because this was going nowhere.

Why were they having this conversation? If something happened to the clown then Harley wouldn't be happy ever again and Ivy should know better. Harley would find out that Ivy killed the clown, because Joker would make sure of that, and the Harley-Ivy friendship would be over. It was very clear and simple, but apparently the plants were eating that little brain-power that Ivy had.

"I'm being nice here because you are Harley's friend, but if you don't help then I'll force you...starting with this vine of yours" he meant the one around his wrists and ankles. He could even warp Harley around his finger stating that he had to kick her friend's green ass because she didn't want to save his life...Harley wouldn't enjoy hearing that. Her best friend who didn't want to help the man she loved. How sad, not for Joker though, he really wanted to kick her greeny-ass "Sooo...if something happened to one of your plants...how much pain would you feel exactly? Just asking for a friend" he smiled again, very calmly.

It was common knowledge, if you knew about Ivy, that she could feel her plants' pain and that was painful for her too of course. Even Batman attacked the plants to weaken Ivy. It was a common method, but it worked. Joker liked torturing after all, he always laughed at it and Jason Todd could confirm that the psycho clown was very good at it.

It was obvious that Joker had planned all of this. He hadn't just come to feed her plants. It was obvious that if Ivy harmed Joker in any way and/or if she didn't help him then her plants would pay the consequences.

Maybe Ivy was right, maybe not, he didn't care, it was time to play! Joker's madness had to take over, sooner or later.

[Pamela Isley - Poison Ivy]

"He drove off a cliff because he passed out from a toxic overdose," Poison Ivy replies without missing a beat, and also without any hint of emotion. She's neither pleased nor remorseful about it - it's simply something that happened. "And if you really understood, then you'd know better than that. But like I said, I have no desire to educate you," she counters, also unbothered by his insistence. Her best friend is a strong woman who is certainly capable of getting over the death of her boyfriend, even one that she's so ridiculously attached to. Although it would probably involve a substantial mourning period - during which Harley would be unbearable, but probably less unbearable than the clown himself is.

What he says next causes her to demonstrate her unique ability to scowl deeply without ruining the aesthetics of her face - she's beautiful when she's angry! Not that the clown is likely to be an appreciative audience. It's actually a misconception that hurting her plants hurts her physically, though it's most certainly true that she feels it. It's just that she feels it on a deeply emotional level. And even the threat of it is enough to enrage her. "Now, now, darling - you know how much Harley hates it when we fight," she says, the anger in her voice practically visible. The vines holding his ankles and wrists abruptly release him, quickly disappearing into the surrounding foliage. Though if their disappearance is due in any way to the worries of the woman who ordered them to do so, it's hard to tell. In fact, she begins walking toward him as she says, "Though if you insist, I'm happy to provide you with a personal demonstration."

And this action on her part ought to immediately catch the Joker's attention, because Poison Ivy is not known to literally take matters into her own hands - no, she's one to hide behind her plants. Then again, Gotham's most deadly female rogue has made some changes recently, hasn't she? It wasn't that long ago that she turned green, and taking the park was certainly a bold move on her part - she'd had to fend off both Batman and the GCPD to do it. Of course, the Joker can rest assured that she won't kill him because of Harley, but does he know what she thinks Harley would forgive her for? Especially when he's barged into her park and provoked her - Harley is aware that her best friend has a temper.