Trash Ratings and Literal Trash [Open]

[Deleted]

“Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone….Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone…”

He groaned.

His entire body was sore. Not an “Oh my god, I’m going to die” sore—you know the kind; you’ve made that new year’s resolution to get back into shape and you totally overestimate how fit you still are. You go to the gym and you work out until you can’t feel your arms and legs anymore. Only the next day it’s really true? You can’t get out of bed and you start making funeral arrangements as you wonder just how exactly you’re going to get up and pee like you really need to. No, Jack Ryder wasn’t that sort of sore. He was sore in the way a healthy workout makes you feel sore. An easy, relieving sort of sore like all the stress you’ve been storing up from your shitty nine to five job turned into carbs that you just boxed away. Oh yeah, it was a pleasant ache like you’ve just had a nice round of se—

Wait.

Why was he cold?

Jack's jaw clenched. He shivered and that's when he noticed that while he was wearing jeans--albeit damp and cold ones--the rest of his body was bare. Even his feet!

“Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone….Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone…”

And was that infernal noise coming from?!

He did several things in sequence. He reached out and snatched the satanic music machine which turned out to be his phone; he sat up and opened his eyes and turned his attention to the screen of his phone; and he then paused the YouTube video titled "Banana Phone - Raiki (Ten Hour Loop)". One second passed, then another. With each passing moment his breath grew shorter. It felt like a fire was rising in his chest, but he kept calm. He didn't scream and he didn't smash his phone. The most important was that he didn't panic.

'Am I going to get an explanation?'

Silence met his internal question for several long moments before, 'Oh, hey, Jackie, my friend, my buddy, my long time-'

'Explain. Now.'

'C'mon, Jack, you were asleep! I was bored! I've not been out of my tower in a week! You've not even visited once. No 'Hi or bye' not even a customary "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair".'

He scrubbed his face and slowly stood up. Of course he didn't have a shirt and of course he didn't have shoes. Who slept in those? And who expected a schizo like Creeper to remember such things?

Jack.

'No shirt? No shoes? Not even socks? It's not Summer the last time I checked! It's the middle of winter! I think I can hang my ties from my nipples now. You didn't even get us back to my flat before you decided to turn back into me!'

Nervous laughter bubbled up in his head. Of course he'd forgotten such things. Those little common sense things. He sighed and peered around to get his bearings. He had a lovely view of the street below. He didn't even ask why he was on a roof. He just wrapped his arms around himself and with a bracing breath which still failed to be as bracing as the wind whipping against him at this height.

'I bought you a bus pass.'

Jack had just found a ladder when Creeper piped up petulantly in his head. He began to make his way down off the roof before he replied. 'No shirt, no shoes, no service. I'm going to die of hypothermia. Remind me to murder you when that happens.'

'Should I schedule that before or after your life flashes before you eyes?'

Maybe he was already hypothermic. He had to be delirious to even think of laughing at that let alone actually doing so. And he was doing so.

His toes and fingers were numb and here he was laughing like an idiot while he froze to death. The night was getting off to a great start. So much for hoping to simply dream.

He'd almost gotten to the bottom of the ladder and off the building when he heard footsteps. He turned his head and that's of course when his frozen feet slipped and his fingers were too slow and also cold to grab onto the metal of the rungs.

He fell into a strategically placed dumpster. And he fell loudly with a yell.

Great. He was shirt and shoeless and now he smelled like rotten Kung Pow Chicken. Just let whoever was coming into view ignore him. He deserved a cold and lonely death.

[Kara Zor-El - Supergirl]

"Well, that's one way to get off a building," a voiced said some just outside the dumpster.

It had only taken her a split second to know that dumpster was there and the man would be safe. A second ago she had been on the roof, and now only feet from the man.

It was Supergirl. At this time of night?

Outsiders work gave her all kinds of duties to take care of. No matter how small the task was. And this seemed like it was going to be rather easy. Given she was told a bit about this guy. He could move quick, but she was quicker. Her speed and abilities rivaled that of Superman's.

Granted she had grown up on their home planet and was able to develop her powers further as she matured. Yet she had been frozen in space as she had been sent out to protect Kal. Yet know it seemed the other way around at times. Sometimes, Supergirl still couldn't deal with the pass she had and what she now had to deal with. Humans, earth, powers that she could use to make the earth surrender because of her abilities.

"I would suggest you take the easy way if you don't want to be sent to a hospital," Supergirl said.

[Deleted]

Kill him now.

He would have smacked his head back, that would only result in even more of the putrid Chinese food coating his hair. He was already freezing and frigid, greasy noodles did not help. Still he couldn’t be completely defeated, at least on the outside. He smiled and waved a hand, still not lifting himself to peering out the trash to see what female he was about to embarrass himself in front of.

“You haven’t seen anything yet. You should see some of the other ways I’ve strangled my ego. Those are the doozies.” He chuckled and then resigned himself to what he was sure would become a walk of shame in the wintry night.

He lifted himself and that’s when he saw the woman who’d found him. He knew her. Both of himselves did. Jack Ryder prided himself on knowing all the “heroes” terrestrial or not. The Creeper knew them because sometimes they helped. Sometimes they had to stop him.

‘Well, well hello, nurse! Rwar~’

Jack groaned, ignored his other personality, and climbed out of the dumpster.

He flexed his fingers at his side in order to make sure he had sensation before he began walking away.

“Look, Supergirl, I appreciate the worry, but the only thing I injured was my pride. And not that it’s your business, but I was taking the easy way from the roof. I didn’t jump off it, I was scaling down the ladder safely until I slipped and that can happen to anyone. Please quote me on that.” He turned and gestured to her. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a long walk home and a hot shower waiting for me. I’d love to stay and chat, but I’m already prey for the mutant rats that live around Gotham.”

[Kara Zor-El - Supergirl]

"I've been told you've cause a bit of a ruckus around in Gotham," Supergirl said.

Supergirl had allowed herself to no longer hover the ground. Standing there in the alley with this 'creeper' of sorts, she wasn't quite sure what to make this situation. Why had Nightwing sent her such a task? This might be the kind of busy work she expected from the JL.

At least Arsenal took into consideration her annoyance over busy work. Though she knew someone had to do some of the small cleaning around town to keep an eye. So, Nightwing probably had some other logical reason for telling her to keep an eye out for this night.

The works of another tone rang out from the same man. That must be the other ego he meant about.

"Do you really expect me to believe that that all you have done this night?" Supergirl said as she moved in the blink of an eye to be right in front of him now. "Do you really think I'm going to leave on that note?"

[Deleted]

His face was haggard. The Jack Ryder who appeared on the news always had bright eyes, a dazzling smile, and enough snark and wit to fuel the entire East Coast if it could be made into an energy source. That Jack Ryder, however, was nowhere to be found in the man whose path had been barred by the Kryptonian. His jaw stiffened and he sighed.

“That note is what you’re going to leave on because much as I really wish I could tell you what else I got up to tonight—and I’d love to if I could—I don’t actually know. What I remember is eating leftover lasagna, watching the international news, and firing off a text or two to my darling cohost. Then I went to sleep only to wake up here.” He crossed his arms. “I honestly don’t give a damn just what ruckus my tall, yellow, and wacky alter ego has gotten up to, and you can’t speak to him. He’s under body arrest until further notice.” Until he somehow escaped again or unless Jack really needed him. Of course in his head, Creeper was blowing a displeased raspberry at him and commenting on how he was unfair and needed to live a little. He'd lived enough for that night. “I usually wear a patch to keep him a bit more controlled, but work tuckered me out. I know I meant to put it on, but I thought to myself…just let me close my eyes for a second and then I’ll put it on…”

Once more Jack moved to leave. He crossed to Supergirl’s side. “When I remember what I did exactly, I’ll find some way to let you know. The memories come back in flashes when he runs around while I’m asleep. I’ve not gotten to the point in my therapy to reattach my two halves yet. It’ll be relief when that happens, let me tell you.”

[Kara Zor-El - Supergirl]

"As tired as you maybe, there is trouble out there because of the mischief your other self has gotten into. You know how is responsible for fixing the trouble it, he, whatever has created?" Supergirl started in. "The ones roaming the streets. As much as I like protecting the city, my ideas of nice work doesn't consist of saving cats from trees. There are bigger problems out there."

Supergirl was rather annoyed with the way this guys was trying to just brush her off like she was a wannabe superhero. Seriously!

"You should give a damn given when the evidence builds against you, you'll have no where to turn. I understand that you are tired and have to deal with this issue on your own. But you should consider the lives you are putting in danger with these blackouts. For some of us, it's a reality we have to face and fix. We can't just sleep and forget about what has happened. I just want you to remember that," she replied sternly.

At this point she stood there with her arms crossed in annoyance. This guy was lucky she was more in control of herself and anger. If this had been her a few years ago when she first came to earth, he would probably have been put in the hospital by now.

Though she knew she had teammates to worry about and not put in danger of drawing attention to their night work besides to leave like a shadow. She had the power to destroy this human race. She could crush this man like an insect and not thing twice.

"Well I suggest you start learning how to do so and fast. People like us aren't always going to be able to prevent every bit of mayhem you have created tonight. Just remember that those people driving the small car were spared from the large truck that was coming at them. You're just lucky I managed to pick up on that. Anyone else on the street wouldn't have gotten there in time," Supergirl referred to an event that occurred after she had spotted some loony running the roads. And from what the man said, sounded like it was his alterego.

"It's not that hard to contact me. I have super hearing. I can hear calls around this globe. You will find a way. And I suggest you try to recall as quick as possible," Supergirl replied. The annoyance was written on her face over people talked to in such a manor as well as this guy trying to just blow her off.