Young Volcanoes! [NATE]

[Roy Harper - Arsenal]

The days and even the nights seemed to drag on… Too long. At first with the initial good buzz to kick into gear, it had more than felt on track. Roy had tried times before, it had finally felt for good. The pain was certainly all still there, either he was getting through dealing it or just storing it too well. There was going to be familiar reminders of the love he lost and he was far more lonely than he'd openly admit that could bother him. Roy finally sat down and fixed his old phone… That was the beginning of the relapse or excuse either way you wanted to look at it. Listened to the messages he otherwise had avoided or missed… Enough to pull the man in directions he had spiralled down hardly months ago… Even more of a fool he was now, going against Kory. When the night came… AA Meeting or the bar? As Roy was left almost in the middle on the street… Someone was seriously trying to mess with him. Looking to the meeting, that would be the right choice and part of him wanted it… To be the better man…. He knew he wasn't when he chose the bar… Roy hadn't been at the meeting enough for them to probably notice. He really wasn't much up for putting his hand up to a group of strangers discussing his problems, especially when sober. Besides, there was possibly money he could make… Cash usually won. Wasn't like he was exactly swimming in it before, but to say he ever wanted to was a lie. Maybe had hoped to be successful, but well… How did he messed that up and ended up, far far below…

The bar was your typical bar. Not overly huge, but it was filled with more locals than criminals than in the south. It just wasn't much more classy, maybe a touch cleaner. Slightly brighter lights, as the streets grew black from the night. After some little persistence at the bar and maybe even a little charm. Roy scored a gig. Though he had sprung it now, there wasn't a band, more solo with his guitar and short. It wasn't bad. He hit notes. Most people in the bar took little notice, save a couple of swooning, slightly tipsy girls… It started with one drink. It was what… One drink… Just one. Roy had certainly been sure he had a stronger stance. Certainly loosened his performance up and misplacing his shirt. Garnering mostly positive reactions whilst he strung away at the strings of his guitar.. After the second and third drink before he finished. It was certainly going past a mistake… When he had finished and putting his guitar back in its case. Roy momentarily put it back over his shoulder. Even before stepping off the stage to head to the bar. Two girls came greeting. All touchy and feely. Naturally after lighting a cigarette, put an arm around each girl and shared in small talk. Somehow lack of clothing, ruffed up hair and dark eyes was appealing. He had certainly not put the effort in… Heading over to the dim lit bar to collect his money. Falling down upon the stall and put his guitar close beside. With a couple other stalls taken, but it wasn't overly crowded tonight. Roy really couldn't say he took notice…

'Come Dance with us, Harper?' 'Oh, Yes. Please! You must'

The girls whom he hadn't really gotten they're names, tugged and pulled playfully for him to go join as the general jukebox was turned back on. He could certainly dance… Roy just wasn't in the mood… Maybe he should… Let himself even more loose. Focus more on the real life girls, than the woman in tugging at his memories right now. As he waited for the bartender and his eyes certainly looked in the direction of the dance floor, they were attempting to pull him in. With a take in from the cigarette in his hand and his other hand shortly ruffled through his hair aimlessly. With his tatted up torso much on display, with some gleam of sweat from his efforts on the stage, mostly because of the lights. He was almost far too suited for his environment.

"I'm a little warn out ladies, but why don't you go start without me?"

Roy wasn't really in the mood to be crushing ladies heart either, but least they had a little hope. Even though he was sure even when they pouted a little, his mind was aimlessly elsewhere. His eyes lingered with a short kind smile as the ladies hand left his skin and they headed towards the dance floor. Roy shortly came back as the cute bartender… Who probably could kick his ass still. Handed him the general envelope, with some minimal amount and a bonus. Free drink on the house… It was really like someone was messing with him. He wasn't drunk enough that he couldn't have said no… Instead he took it. It was what? A beer. One beer. With the first chug it went down and hit a spot… Maybe just not thee spot. So he chugged again… Pulled out his phone. Even opening it and it was like she was staring right back at him… The bad thing about this is, he probably could gather what she'd say right now… It didn't change the fact she was no longer here and he was. With nothing he could do about it… Fingers scrolled upon buttons. Before pressing on the speaker button on the voicemail. It wasn't so loud it go across the entire bar, but he couldn't really bring it to himself to take it to his ear. His mind was rather lost in regards to where he was right now. Least it didn't seem as important, right now…

~ Roy! We've missed you… I've missed you… I love you, but you can't keep doing this. You're not useless, you are better than this. You always have been. Whether you know it or believe it. I do… You know that Oliver didn't do it intentionally to hurt you… He cares about you, he just went around it the wrong way… You've probably heard all this before… You need Help. Roy… I'm always here if you want to talk… Whenever you need… ~

The voice was clear, Roy could easily picture Donna beside him and feeling her breath in his ear… Every single word would hit him, hit him deeply, even if he didn't show it entirely on the outside. Roy was sat silently. Chugged at his beer, before setting it down. Certainly felt the weight in his heart. Even before her death, it was just like Roy in some stupid way he'd disappoint. Be the mistake. Whether to the group or Oliver, who had certainly tried, but he exactly wasn't a saint himself… Who the hell was suppose to be the idol here? If anyone was to blame… It was himself… He'd usually find himself alone… Even those three little words, even though he felt the tone. She meant it, but they had been friends by then… Ever since he proposed and she turned him down, because of a dream than turned out to be about Terry not him… Still, those feelings never really subsided… His eyes could almost water at tears of understanding… Agreeing he needed help… Donna was always right, but she was wrong about one thing… She wasn't here anymore, which just made him feel more anger. Not at her… Never her… Whether he squeezed a little to firmly or it slipped out of his hand. Glass fragments from the glass of beer he had, fell upon the floor… That was probably the sign to stop serving him, but he honestly didn't feel drunk enough nor numb enough… Instead another drink, perhaps because of over hearing the message. Whether it was that telling of what actually happened. This time he passed on a couple of coins from the envelope… Feeling it wasn't probably going to see outside this bar by the end, if he kept it up.

[Deleted]

The keys jingled, catching the lights from the busy evening street. Gotham was a city that never stopped. Always rolling, always loud, always with a rapid heartbeat. Go, go, go…quick, quick, quick! Nathaniel could silence it with a single, drawn in breath which he let out slow. He swiveled his keys on his finger, but quickly stuck back in his pocket in exchange of pulling out his wallet. He gave a ten to the taxi-driver and the brown leather disappeared into the back pocket of his dark jeans almost as soon as it had appeared. Of course he’d had no intention to drive to this side of town, not with the destination he was seeking in mind. Most he knew sought the place as a refugee of acceptance or a place to get away. They were a fountain of escape. You smiled or cried to feel and drank to forget. The bitter, the sweet, the tangy and even the exotic. You were hardly judged there so long as you kept to yourself, didn’t hit on someone else’s date, or could throw a mean punch. Yet as Nathaniel crossed the street, never wavering from his destination of neon and the stench of drunkenness and cigarettes, he was there for none of it. He didn’t crave the bitterness of beer, the sting of vodka, or the punch of tequila. Nathaniel didn’t even feel a need for the tang of nicotine; he was there to hand in the rough draft of his thesis to his gradate advisor. He could have laughed at the situation. Handing in his school work in a place most students ran to to avoid the very thing. Yet in the strum of the city’s beat to hurry, hurry, Nathaniel was strangely calm. He lived for this environment, but he never let it get to him. He’d seen what could so easily happen and how slippery such a slope was.

The bouncer simply glanced at his I.D. and waved him in. Nathaniel pressed past the crowds of people sitting at the bar and near-by tables, eyes making quick work of the bar. It was a familiar place to him. It was the place most popular with his fellow graduates. It was the place his father had taken him for his first drink at twenty-one. It looked the same, maybe the bar was a touch shabbier, but it gave it personality. The furniture had not outlived its uses yet or had been replaced with near replicas. Buy in bulk, always have extra, panic if you don’t. Again the city seemed to whisper like it always did into the lives of its citizens. Nathaniel passed the dance floor and found his professor. The passing of his large thesis from his bag, to Professor Pigeon’s hands, and into the other’s bag took less than a minute. Their exchange of words perhaps five and then the professor was retreating further back into the bar. Nathaniel lifted his eyes to the stage, regarded the man playing guitar shirtless. He smiled and decided he could handle one drink. That was why he’d taken a cab after all, but even as he sat down at the dull, shiny bar and stared into its natural design of rings, he felt something was missing. He wished Iris were there. Still even if it was just one drink, it was rather a different feeling having it in conversation with someone else rather than alone. The man from the stage took the stool beside him, but he seemed lost in his own world which consisted of two obviously inebriated women, a cigarette, and lest it’s forgotten a guitar.

Nathaniel sipped his tumbler and stepped into his own world, happy to mind his own business. After all it wasn’t his concern to point that all three of them were probably not at all sober and that whatever they were planning it was probably a bad idea, yet Nathaniel noted with just a bit of intrigue as he caught the Roy’s accented voice denied the women in his own way. Of course they certainly take it as rejection, but instead used it as a way to recruit more people to join their party.

They approached him.

“Would you like to dance? You should…You shouldn’t be sitting here alone.”

“Yes, you must dance with us.”

Nathaniel gave them a smile and set his glass down before shaking his head, “No, I’m afraid I’m spoken for. But I’m sure you’ll find someone who would love to have the attention, just be careful.” Careful. Those girls were his age and he was telling them to watch for themselves?

They just giggled. One ruffled his hair and called him cute and off they went to find someone else to drag to the dance floor. Nathaniel went back to drinking his glass and set the empty one on the counter. He agreed to another tumbler of whiskey. That’s when it became obvious that the man at his side wasn’t here for just a bout of fun drinking, he was drowning his sorrows as the saying went.

Caught between wanting to offer an ear and be respectful because he knew that inkling of “therapist” coming on, he sipped his second glass only to almost drop his when the one in Roy’s hand broke.

Nathaniel grabbed his hand to inspect for wounds from embedded glass. He hadn’t even asked, just acted, but when he realized the other man was fine and that he’d been a bit rude he looked up to him and politely let go.

“Sorry about that,” he offered, “you startled me.”

[Roy Harper - Arsenal]

To put it easy. Roy's mind was more than elsewhere than the bar. Was he truly taken by his mind? He'd like to think he wasn't entirely. Not completely lost. Hopeless. How could he when his very own pulse was still pumping. If he pinched himself, he'd feel it, well to a degree in this state. As he had felt the rim of the glass only graze his otherwise milady chipped lips. Perhaps they were more moistened than they felt, but they felt ever dry since that day. Pathetic he was sure was being now, more than simply heart broken. He was the fool that had let Donna slip, far before she died… Roy simply grumbled, blinking trying to just see numb. To feel it… Mildly if not at all aware a man sat beside him. Closely, but that was the norm, right? He probably wasn't the first nor the last to drown himself in such a way. In way he knew he had to kick. Like he had done before. With the hand that ran through his hair, head. He knew he was bastard to have… When Kory had taken his sorry ass. Last thing he wanted to do was over stay his welcome. She had opened her door to help him and he was right here, pissing on it. Deep breath. The subtle buzz…. Puff on the cigarette in his other hand… Eyes had faintly caught the girls, chatting up the guy next to him… Spoken for. Ah, to be young and in love. Marriage he assumed. The very thing he hadn't been aiming for. Why aim for such a thing if you aren't sure. When it didn't make sense… But, he was sure he lost that chance… When he lost her… The voice. Her voice. Was enough to bring tears to a man's eyes. As the faint tear came down that streaked down his dark cheek, he'd probably forgotten to tidy up today, a couple of days if he was lucky.

In Roy's fabled attempts at anything remotely hither. The bottle had shattered. Broken. Shards off glass fell to the floor. Table… Blood. Yeah, of course he'd manage that effort. Barely felt the pain at first, but as the sudden sting came. It was almost deserving. Physical pain he could feel. As he held his hand out momentarily glancing at it through hazed brown eyes. Certainly there was some loop of a cheesy love song going on in the background. You know just enough to try and rub it in. Just about sick of them. Fairytales, fuck them right now… As his attempts. His motion to get another drink. Refill was accepted. On its way. Resting his elbows back on the table. Tapping his cigarette before attempting another puff. Roy was brought somewhat make to reality. As his hand was grabbed. Touch. Such slender, smooth fingers he felt at first. The faintest smirk came on his face, but even as Roy glanced. Any shear sign of who he'd expect to see. Who he had seen times before in very similar situations. Just wasn't there… Instead, a man…. A man he did not know. Though it appeared the good looking men were at the bar… Looking around vaguely wondering what kind of bar he had wandered into. Certainly wouldn't be the first time, but really didn't care. Roy made a small sound from the touch to the wounds cut by glass, possibly pieces stuck, but it was just a cosmetic pain. Shallow. The surface. Roy didn't react overly freaked out or really anything.

"Oh, nah dude. It's cool…. That's why they have alcohol!!!"

Roy responded as cool and as calm as he could. Not just because he was in the mood that he was in and he was more than sure he wasn't drunk enough. Even his speech wasn't exactly slurred, but he wasn't usually much of the slurring drunk, more ADHD came out! Least he could put it down to that. Yeah, just as mentioned the alcohol. Meaning the varies uses. Even as he was given the newer bottle, he cringed at the idea. You fucking idiot… As he had motioned to pour some of the alcohol content on his wounded hand…. Oh, yeah did that hurt like a mother… As his teeth gritted, cursed under his breath, but sucked up the pain. Even if it was cheap. Low. Moronic idea to show he had what? Control of the situation. Pfft, yeah right. As the hand now burnt quietly enough. Taking that sip off his beer to his lip, that helped… A tad. Cigarette puff, almost better… Coughed ever so slightly, but this certainly wasn't a new habit wrecking his lungs.

"Roy… So, what brings you down here?"

As simple and as straight forward as Roy introduced himself. To the strange man, given a few more drinks and he might be looking a lot more fine. As Roy held his cigarette balancing it between his lip, before offering the hand. You know the casual. Yet manly handshake. Particularly the one not cut up. Bringing back the hand offered, took back hold of his cigarette. Another relaxing, possibly killing puff, with the pause, before asking what had sent the man this way. To this bar. There could defiantly be any amount of reasons. Was he as broken or was he so together it was criminally envious!

[Deleted]

Not a single twitch went through Nathaniel’s face at first, listening and observing the man. That’s why there was alcohol? He took him in silently and began to wonder just how thankful he was for alcohol and how often? There was no slurring in the man’s voice, but his ignorance of his hand was quite proof enough just how thankful he was. Then he poured the beverage on his hand. It was then that Nathaniel’s face did twitch, lips working into a frown, but still he refrained from saying anything. Instead he waited for Roy to introduce himself before he nodded. Gingerly he picked up his hand again. He was certified in first aid and in the bar lighting which is actually fairly good he could see the glass embedded in the man’s hand. He waved the bar tender over and requested the first aid kit.

“Nathaniel,” he introduced himself as he waited for his supplies to get there, “I was delivering my doctoral thesis to my professor. Decided to have a drink to celebrate.” His words were casual despite the fact he’d gone into his therapist/doctor mode, inspecting Roy’s hand.

When the first aid kit arrived, he opened it and pulled out a pair of gloves first. These he put on before taking up the tweezers he wiped with an alcohol pad. “I’m afraid this is going to sting and perhaps hurt. I apologize.” In the middle of the bar he eased glass from Roy’s hand and placed it on a napkin the bartender quickly removed. He then began to clean the wound. “You, however, not meaning to be forward, you seem to be troubled.” He glanced up and met his eyes. “No offense, but someone who’s enjoying themselves usually doesn’t just crush a glass in their hand. I’m going to bandage it now alright?”

[Roy Harper - Arsenal]

There was certainly a chance of stupid and moronic ideas floating in Roy's head right now. Because naturally this wouldn't be the end of it, but then he probably wasn't in the state to care greatly or cared far more than people could credit him for. He knew the choice was bad the second he made. Hell, even before. Perhaps he could lie when he got home, but somehow it probably end up all catching up on him. Though he was sure he wasn't nearly at the state of drunk… No, no. Just a little moronic and maybe a tiny, tiny bit tipsy. Though levelled enough not to see double at the company of the fellow beside him. Even rather sober he wasn't unattractive. Who knows what he'd be like when he wasn't so sober… Not so much ignored, just a little self absorbed. As Roy had poured some of his drink on his busted hand. Telling himself it was a small price. Taking the extra swig of his drink at his lips. Yeah, almost better. Putting the bottle down and regained his smoke. His eyes off his hand momentarily, before he felt the pull. The touch of cold hands. Usually perhaps Roy would have been bothered, but hey, what was wrong with a strange man holding you're hand. Especially in such a place. Roy's eyes shadowed mildly at his hand, before taking a hell of a better look at the man. Ah, see. The seemingly opposite reasons for being in the same place and answered why he was so taken with Roy's hand.

"Dude and you picked HERE! … A celebration you say? Why stop at one? Next round is on me!"

Roy Kinda openly spoke. Certainly his brain was usually joined to his mouth. Though of all places to celebrate, Roy wasn't entirely sure this would be thee choice. Oh, who was he kidding. Roy couldn't even begin to recall the last time he celebrated… In such a manor at the very least. Although his eyes wandered to the lonely brainy guy. He couldn't knock the choice. A celebration was still a celebration. Roy hardly wanted to be the one to drop it down a notch. Was he not Roy Harper. Speedy. If anything it was expected he'd attempt to kick it up. At the pause, before his eyes shifted. He wasn't much the kind to push his bad habits on another, but what was a second drink in the larger schemes of celebrating. As Roy suggested in his questions. Wavering a signal to the bar tender with the first aid kit… At the gloves, Roy certainly gave a look. Cringed at the sound of the snap. Ok, either that was the drink talking or not enough. As Roy chugged his beer, ok that kinda helped. Half kicking himself, he really wasn't that much of a girl. Glass, pfft. He'd lost count at how many times he was shot at or how many times he had popped his joints back in places. This was small. Why even bother apologising, the dude was trying to help and Roy was sure he needed far more.

"I can take it. Even if it hurts like a mother fucker, I probably deserve it."

Not that Roy was trying to bring down the mood. The bar, but hey he wasn't overly chipper. Shaking his head ever so slightly, because he could take it. He would take it. He really wasn't sure what he deserved, but he was sure this was circling the drain, so to speak. He had failed before. He was failing now. Lied. How many times could he tell himself, next time. Next will be different. Barring his teeth at the pinch at his hand. The glass fragments getting pulled out of his flesh. Oh, it stung alright. Stung just enough. He felt it and he was taking it. He almost didn't want it to stop, but it did. Yet, everything else remained the same. He was still here. She wasn't. Feeling the release of glass from his hand and felt the cool sting from the air, the alcohol. Then, the once, well he still kinda was a strange man. He just knew his name, but he put his two cents in. More or less pointing out the obvious. As Roy could half permit a smile, as his eyes looked down. At the bar, but seemly at nothing. Yet everything. Running his hand through his hair without setting it on fire with his smoke. Before taking that long puff.

"That, I'm sure is the understatement of the century! You could say my 'doctoral thesis', didn't go all that well… Oh, who am I kidding, I didn't exactly pass high school!"

Not to answer out the obvious, ok well Roy certainly did, as much as Roy could jest, attempt. He wasn't sure how troubled, but he was guessing it was rooted a long time ago. Here and there. Not that he could completely dive in, even if he could, would someone really want his history. Roy joked. Most likely lamely, he was seemingly losing his touch tonight. Then again as he admitted he wasn't entirely high up on education, he could hardly recall how it actually went under Ollie's thumb, but well, Roy certainly got educated in the end. Who knew weapons better! There certainly was no college, even if he wanted to. Nah, it wasn't exactly what made him 'troubled'! He muffle a minor laugh at Nathaniel, questioning someone crushing glass wasn't for fun. Roy could assume Nathaniel hasn't been around a lot of 'different' people or met his roommate. That could be down to accidental, most of the time… Though, in this case. Enjoyment, was far from what Roy was even trying to find or feeling.

"Go ahead… Ah, I guess you've never been to a greek wedding… Wait, I think that's feet… If you really wanna know… A friend, she… Well, she's not here anymore and no, I don't have any friends in my head. If I did, they'd be all flipping you guys off. I'm sorry, bad experience…"

There was little, if no resistance. He felt the stings. The pain. Felt bits of numbness, yet hardly enough. Trying to escape it or trying to drown in it. He really wasn't sure yet. Either way he was sure he was gonna wake up regretting it. Hell, he was regretting it now. Taking the sip of his drink mindlessly. Trying to come up witty again. Seriously greek weddings? He attempted with a wink. A look. Somewhere how he recalled, that was less hands, more feet. Shrugged a little… He could know how much if any Nathaniel wanted to know. Roy certainly didn't intend to bring the celebration down pegs for him, but least if anything try and give some reason. Hey, he said he'd talk this shit out, perhaps this would count. Of course, though he said it, yet danced around it. Of course recalling the last time he dealt with, how it sounded. Roy was maybe troubled, he was sure he wasn't crazy. Hell, if he was, it probably make this so much easier. Before apologising, how could Roy even begin to think Nathaniel was like all the others…

[Deleted]

Nathaniel, speaking for himself knew that it wasn’t his place to judge anything that Roy did as stupid or moronic, or any sort of synonym of that kind. He was there because of luck, he’d come to this bar because his professor frequented it and had told him to meet him there. He had stayed just to get one drink. It was a waste to come into a bar and not at least have one. He wasn’t one to over-indulge, though, and especially not tonight. He had plans, plans that involved a pretty brunette therapist that was named after the most unique part of the eye. That was where his real celebration lied. He couldn’t very well miss that. Yet he also couldn’t just let a guy bleed all over a bar. He probably should have told him to go make sure he’d not need stitches, but as he cleaned off the wound, he could tell the damage was superficial mostly. He’d just need a bandaging. He was in fact now rather focused on that and so when Roy again spoke all he could was blink a moment before he finally looked up.

“Yeah, well…no, I didn’t really pick here the professor did,” he gave a small smile and then shook his head/ “Thanks, but I can’t accept that. I told myself just one drink and then I have…Well, my girlfriend is cooking me a celebration dinner and I don’t need to be worried about driving or her worried about me.”

The bar didn’t seem like a place he’d bash for celebration. He was twenty-four and it certainly looked like the type of place he’d have gone with his dormmates in California while he’d studied at Stanford. The women were even the type his buddies would go for. That made him smile in nostalgia, but just as Roy was looking at him and calling him the ‘lonely, brainy guy’ Nathaniel had taken him in as the man who, though young seemed to carry a weight beyond his years. He judged his raucous nature as having once been genuine. That shadow of a true smile on his lips, but now it was painted almost. He could see the alcohol was already taking its toll. Yet Nathaniel wasn’t one to judge a person. He didn’t even feel comfortable turning therapist on the man. He wasn’t sitting in front of him trying to seek help, he was still drowning his sorrows.

He tsked as he extracted the glass and didn’t even look at him. “No one deserves to have glass stuck in their hand, no matter if you broke it on purpose. Best not let the bartender know that anyway, hm,” he glanced up at him and smiled. Then he was focused back on the cleaning of the wound. He didn’t want to seem unattached as he rolled the bandage carefully over his hand. He had been observing all the while. He reply to his next statement only gave him a neutral smile. What could he say? That he hadn’t been trying to brag, only explaining? That he really didn’t see schooling as a comment on a person if they didn’t make it important? He could look at Roy and know. No, school wasn’t his calling. There, simple. Right? Yet Nathaniel wasn’t simple. To know who Roy was? To know that he was one of Gotham’s heroes? That wouldn’t have surprised him. He’d seen it’s villains. He wasn’t sheltered, he just didn’t act like any of that important. He wasn’t out to act normal, he was out to be himself. If that got him mistaken for being sheltered so be it.

Nathaniel let go of his hand and he himself took a sip of his own drink. He didn’t bust out with the I’m sorrys or the sympathy. How could he sympathize? He’d lost his mother long before he’d been able to drink. He missed her, but in six years how had he really known her? No, he couldn’t sympathize. What he could do was lift a brow.

“Flip me off, hm?” He couldn’t help, but laugh. “Why, are you expecting I’m start on a tangent about how she’d not want you to be drinking your tears away? No, you know drowning in that only numbs the feelings, makes them come back stronger when the buzz is gone.” He shrugged. “So they could flip me off, I won’t take offense. I probably deserve to be flipped off. I make a living trying to convince people to take better care of themselves.”

He looked down at his drink a moment. “Not everyone takes lightly to that sort of talk, especially if they’ve been forced to talk to you.” He shook his head. No, he liked helping people, don’t get him wrong, but if they didn’t want your help…He’d rather just step back. That was the first step of any help. They needed to see the problem and want to change it. Until then it was like ramming into a brink wall. It damaged the wall, the car, and the person inside.

[Roy Harper - Arsenal]

The mind could certainly be bleak at times, perhaps a lot of times. It really did seem like as much as Roy could take a step. There be something that yank up and pull him back down. Now, he wasn't so sure he was completely giving up, but then for a moment. This moment at least he really wasn't sure about most things, perhaps there just were deep cracks in his heart that he dared admit. Then again he wasn't exactly hiding his outer misery right now. Perhaps unknowingly his heart was nearer to bleeding out on the bar… Inches away from following suit with his hand. It really seemed a lesser thing. A lesser pain. Wasn't exactly like he hadn't been shot before. Stabbed. Heck even potentially blown up and a little potential self blown up. His weapons don't exactly test themselves after all. Broken skin. Broken bones. Broken heart. The uplifting side, Roy wasn't in a ditch. That had to be a flip side right? Not completely absorbed to pay attention to the newly met stranger. Nathaniel? That certainly was a mouthful right now.

"Nattie was it? You must be severely lacking in fun, if your professor is giving you suggestions…! Uh, well. Good for you, man… What's her name? She must truly be the celebration!"

In Roy's lame attempt to address his name, shorten it which ever, it probably land him a couple blows. Taking another drag from his cigarette, something probably just as bad, but one step at a time, right? Looking at his fellow bar mate. A mild playful smirk came at the side of his lips. From what he had heard… Seen, certainly didn't come across as the party animal and even less of a chance of seeing him on top of this bar dancing. Yeah, not completely surprised, as Roy joked lightly in his 'lack of fun', after all, he could turn around and prove Roy wrong… It did certainly click a little at the mention of this man's girlfriend. The woman waiting at home with a warm meal. A bed. Certainly not the worst way to celebrate. Roy smiled a little warmer. Instinctually patted Nate on the shoulder in good gesture, before the sting, realisation he'd used his wounded hand, thankfully it seemed most of the glass was gone, so it really was mostly Roy's pain. With a cringe of pain a little, letting his hand fall back on the bar and didn't so much at flinch as Nate attended at his hand. With his more stable hand, sipped on his drink, before asking Nate's girlfriends name. If he indeed wished to put a name to the pretty face Roy was sure Nate was envisioning right now. Perfect life. Perfect woman. Also it could seem in comparison. Was Roy a little jealous, maybe. Then again perfect could be overrated and could it really even suit him. He could only imagine.

"You mean unconsciously? Maybe. Although I'm pretty sure, I'm passed looking for a bullet to block… Or a fight I can lose. I can say that as much."

Roy loosely questioned Nate's words, in suggesting breaking the glass had perhaps been on purpose. Raising a slight brow, because Roy wasn't so certainly he did it on purpose, then again as he questions perhaps unknowingly. It wasn't like it wasn't possible. To put a physical pain to something much deeper, perhaps in some attempt to make it more real. Who really could explain such a thing, he certainly didn't really feel as if he was as worried about his own physical pains, but he was certain he was past looking for a death wish. Certain he had put that path behind him, or least so he thought. Reflecting on that a little with what he revealed to Nate, less revealed, he needn't know just how Roy had walked in fights before coming to Gotham more recently. Taking a sip, certainly wasn't completely blank from his mind, then again in most cases he was probably completely drunk at the time. He was pretty sure if that path wasn't behind him, he probably wouldn't be here right now. Even if off the top of his head, he really wasn't sure where he would be. Wasn't like he had a real home and this was neither him crying about that fact. It wasn't a new thing, really… Just that little absorbed, even so much so that he barely hindered to Nate finishing attending to his hand and letting it go. It merely just fell limp on the bar. Though not completely out of the moment, he wasn't as drunk as he could certainly get and Roy was confident he wouldn't go that far. Least that was what he told himself. He wasn't as bad off as he had been, but he was still bad off. Somewhere he had to know that.

"No, not exactly. She usually put her point across and if she didn't, certainly could kick my ass… No offence! Not that you probably couldn't, but well… I know… Its not like I haven't been here before, although I think less drowning, but I guess thats not really up to me at this point."

Roy lightly shook his head. He really couldn't say what he had expected, but there was usually followed up questions in such a way they had already figured out the answers. Summed him up in a matter of minutes. Not that Roy really could say he painted himself so mysteriously, but come on. Roy smirk humbly at the fact Donna giving him any form of advice right now, would certainly be making her point, she certainly had a habit of doing just that upon several occasions. With the possible following of physical violence, well pulling him by the ear and near showing of fists. She was a wonder girl after all, she merely had to flex, then again she was beautiful. In and out. As Roy's eyes faintly drew distantly before retreating back to Nate, with little to no offence if possible. Roy was less caring of truly checking out strength, but he had some clue given his training, either… It wasn't the same. Not that Nate wasn't charming… He just wasn't his kind of charming. Fingers traced the glass rim as Nate reflected upon the aftermath. The downfall after the suppose drowning. Such a thing certainly hadn't been a new thing. Its sad to not even really remember when it start. Just how old and yet just how young. It hardly mattered. With what time had been lost, there had to be some chance of time to gain… Even if he mostly felt still at this moment. Less drowning as Roy's voice spoke almost believing it, he was sure he had some sort of control now, but with any doubt perhaps he wasn't in great shape to truly say that.

"In convincing others… Do you have it all together? At some point I've been envious of it, but then again to never take a risk… I don't know. There has to be more than living in a square and never stepping outside. Have you ever driven to work and kept on driving?"

Roy wasn't so cynical that to merely state Nate in efforts to convince others, was indeed 'perfect', who really could be, but he was probably far more likely to be closer to having it all together. The so called safe and good path. Success and all the many other great things that followed. Not that Roy didn't exactly chase a path, but his probably more than likely had a lot of bends. A lot of u-turns. Maybe not exactly short cuts. He wasn't the short cut kinda guy, as speedy as he could be. As he spoke simply and perhaps a little reflectively. He had been and was envious of such a thing. He was the more carefree kind of person, so whether he did want it completely together, it wasn't going to be an over night thing and hell, he liked risks. Even if sure he more than blew most of them, it really wasn't from lack of trying. Depending on such a thing. This… This was a problem. Taking another sip and perhaps a little bit of his pride, who really knew. He really only had himself to blame. Questioning if Nate really lived on the edge or if it was so particular? Not that Roy's questioning was particular regarding skipping work, well it was an example and something Roy more than likely would have done. Not often, but you know. You get those itches. Right. Take time for yourself, if that was it.

"Well, feel free to flip me off… I probably deserve it. I was suppose to be across the road talking this out… Uh, yeah, I deserve it… Who ever thought to put AA across from a bar, more than likely thought it was a sick joke. Then again the temptation is mine…"

Roy responded in light to Nate's subjective words, he had to certainly agree. With an added smirk suggested he was then the one to be flipped off, with little offence at all. He wasn't blinded from the faults he had made. The faults he was continuing to make right now. Perhaps he wasn't complete with clarity, but he certainly had enough sense to take the blame. All the blame if he could. Throwing it out there he was suppose to be elsewhere. Across the road as Roy loosely pointed in the direction of the door. Whether or not Nate even knew of the AA meeting across the road, but that was a lesser thing, because Roy certainly didn't forget. When he got home, he was more than likely going to be questioned about it. He be disappointing another. He was more than just to blame as Roy then more than assured said he was deserving of such treatment. He certainly had a thick backbone, but hey. Joking outwardly the AA meeting and bar almost side by side. Probably not on purpose, but certainly sounded like a start of a joke. Though he wasn't so short sided to know the choice had literally stemmed in his hands. His feet and well he knew the risks in the temptation. He took the temptation. That alone was on him and there no disputing that.

[Deleted]

“I’m not going to flip you off,” those were the first words from Nathaniel’s mouth. What reason did he have to do it? Roy certainly had taken that much offense to his words and really Nathaniel thought he’d gotten even sadder. He took another sip of his drink and finding it empty, he waved for another. A second wouldn’t hurt, he knew how to hold his alcohol and hold it well. He was only twenty-four. He’d not so long ago been in his first years of alcohol. Not long after twenty-one he’d learned the art of drinking, okay…maybe before twenty-one. He shook his head.

“I was the one expecting to be flipped off, like I said…I feel like I’m coming in here and dissecting you at a bar and people don’t like that.” He gave him a shrug after that before looking in the direction he pointed. An AA meeting next to a bar? His brow furrowed and he looked back to Roy just as his second drink was set down before him. There was no reply as he took another. “No offense, Roy…but where did you get suggested to such a place? Because…that’s just,” he laughed, “that’s horrible. Who in their right mind would put an AA meeting so close to a bar?”

It shouldn’t have been funny, and no it was rather sobering, but still Nathaniel laughed because it was joke, a horrible joke life could play and he laughed out of sadness. He took in misfortune with a laugh, took another sip of his whiskey, and when he sat it down he had sobered. He worked his mouth a moment. “I’ve driven to work and kept driving, yeah. I did it a lot when I was younger. I didn’t even come here to tell you that I know pain and sorrow and heartache, because really I don’t think I do. Not yours. Not anyone’s save mine. But my life wasn’t a green park…I’ve been through well…I’ve been through shit, lost months of my life wading through a coma and then when I awake…nothing feels right, I didn’t, the world didn’t. I’ve never been the same.”

He ran his own fingers over the lip of his glass. “I don’t have it together. No one does and we’ve all got problems of our own. They are small and big, sometimes only as big as we make them, but a problem is a problem,” he smiled, “Iris, that’s her name…she helps keep me sane and sometimes she doesn’t realize it.” He chuckled, “She doesn’t need to kick my ass, though, though let me tell…I don’t doubt she could do it.”

He seemed to float off thinking of Iris back at her apartment. He wished he was there right then, not because he wasn’t enjoying the talk with Roy, but he loved her. He wanted to be with her. He realized how lucky he was to have her, someone to go home to when he needed to. She was an anchor. He shook his head again.

“But no, I’m not going to flip you off. I don’t have a right to do that. No one is perfect and I’ve had my share of being the righteous one who didn’t see his own flaws. Then I was knocked off my pedestal and it hurt. It hurt to look in the mirror at myself.”

[Roy Harper - Arsenal]

Oh, right. The legal age limit? As the 21 year old, Roy Harper sat at the bar. Well, mostly. The rest was far more numb. Upset? Sure. Mad, maybe? Pretty much one swirling mass of emotions he just rather get swept away, it wasn't like he hadn't tried to deal with it. The only annoying thing in try to sweep it under the rug, so to speak. It usually just came back to bite him in the ass. Of course, it had to be Roy that not even a year from the turning the legal age limit, had he landed him such a problem. Would one seriously believe it all started at 21? Yeah, didn't think so. He wasn't blown ass drunk right now, that he least could say. This was like either the second… Or third. This was light, but considering he was suppose to be… Dry, it was one or two, maybe three to many. Most of what Nate was saying, was being heard or more or less absorbed. Right now, as Roy attempted the swig of his drink, it almost tasted like guilt and a little like ash. Pushed a few inches in front of him.

"Suit yourself… Now, why would you get flipped off? You're smart, you're hot and mostly got it together… You just need a mean right hook… If you stay here long enough, you just might need it!"

Simply Roy stated, although he probably be flipping himself off if it was the case, but then again different position… As Roy asked why in the word Nate would be flipped off, with the hint of sarcasm. Not that Roy would, the dude seemed harmless, but he also had or at least appeared to have many traits that most probably envied in this bar right now, hmmm and probably cash. Not that Roy could tell the dude was rich or not, but with a brain like that, if he wasn't. He probably would be. That could certainly land you a target in bar, not that Roy was at all threatening Nate, he was mostly just pointing that out… No doubt, he already figured that out and if he was really smart, then probably didn't need a right hook. Of course, violence was not always the answer. As Roy carefully clenched his now bandaged hand… Still stung, just not as bad, certainly enough not to want to go punching glass, although doing what he does. One could be surprised how often that happens, thats why gloves are usually handy.

"I don't know, I was kinda laid out the options and picked one randomly… Well, I'm glad its not just me, that feels jerked around… It must keep the bar flowing, huh…! Yeah…! I'd say scam!"

Which was in other words, Kory had laid out bunch of flyers and cut outs and options. With the loaded pressure, and need to impress. He just picked one. It wasn't like picking out a car. A car he would be excited about. AA? To a degree, he suppose. Though it certainly made him feel less insane thinking it was a rough deal, as Roy laughed, oh it was bad. Not that its the only excuse, at the end of the day the temptation was taken by him nonetheless, for someone that could defend the world. A city, should be able to be stronger than this. Though at the talk of the 'sick joke', Roy looked around the bar that little more. Over his shoulder. Past Nate's shoulder. For the times Roy had gone, he was almost sure he spotted familiar faces. He almost felt sick to his stomach of embarrassment, that he was even stupider to have fallen for this, scam. Least thats what it smelled like, right now. Then of course, as he glanced at the tv in the corner, with the Gotham news. He was reminded they were in, Gotham City. Naturally…! Just when Roy thought his life had been pretty fucked up, he's momentarily stopped as he listens to Nate. Just taking drag, before there is only ash left and puts out his cigarette. Waving the smoke a little, not that it cleared the air in this place.

"Geez, a coma! Shit, I'm sorry to hear that, dude! That seriously is a rough deal of it. How did it happen? How long ago? Well, I can see how succeeding in university would be even more rewarding, though I would have totally crashed…"

That was defiantly an understatement, as Roy naturally ran a hand through his hair. Just when he was potentially spewing out his 'problems', he didn't even. Of course, he should have known he wasn't the only one with problems. The things he dealt with as heroes, of course clarified that, a coma was certainly up there. Most of Roy's problems were more internal, not so much physical. Though given his line of work physical was part of the job. You break a leg, you keep on going. Amount of times being 'knocked out' was kinda hard to count at this point. Roy could be a little work obsessed, it allowed something in ignore his problems, plus it helped he usually very very good at his job. He was one of the rare heroes that actually chose this path… This destiny as so many proclaimed. Many heroes had either been born with some abilities, or was in an accident or something profound happened that roped them in, but Roy had in ways was inspired and jumped in, but it certainly seemed something to jump back into university. To jump so directly back in your life, if you had so many months of it striped away. Roy total couldn't say he'd jump in so well. So easily. Roy's eyes glanced from Nate as he continued. In his varies ways of speaking wisdom. Roy was very much all ears in listening and understanding. It wasn't like somewhere deep down, Roy knew. Of course he knew. He wasn't dumb, he was maybe skipped university, but sometimes being too smart for your own good, got you bitten in the ass.

"Pretty name! Don't they all! A problem I need to kick, but still I'm left with the fact. I am still here… She is not, it isn't how it was suppose to be… "

Said simply in response of Iris, no doubt beautiful as the name, beautiful couple, not that Roy was envious. Perfection was subjective. Roy remarked. Loudly enough, yet partially to himself. Hell, maybe all to himself, because he knew. How much he had heard and had spinning it around his head. It was one thing knowing and another thing doing. Recover, did he really want to? Did he deserve it? Yet, at the end of the day whether or not he did either. It couldn't change everything. Perhaps there was zero to all of it. Great. Fucking great. As though Roy didn't so much hesitate to his drink, but at his phone, with the image of Donna. It should have been him!