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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 6:33:57 GMT -5
Oh. Selina blanches slightly as she realizes she nearly entirely answered wrong, and misheard the doctor. Oops. So while she takes a moment to actually think on how she'd feel about the whole thing, she is quiet. After several moments, she meets the other woman's eyes clearly, and tells her the answer she's discovered. "I'd miss it, I think. Maybe not the act...but everything with it. It's not just..taking something. It's the emotions associated; the thrill, the fear, the reclamation. But I think even if I wasn't doing it, I'd find something productive to fill..the gap. By doing, no doubt. Because when I do, I feel. When I feel, I do." It's just..that simple to her. She is capable of logic, and profound thought, but it's her feelings that really lead her.
When Iris laughs, Selina bursts into a smile. This woman has nearly the most perfect answer for anything Selina's thrown at her, or even asked. "Very true. I...like to think I'm a bit more adjusted than several of the other...'Villains' as you could call them. Jon's...a bit obsessed. Even Edward, and Pam....well, Ivy, she likes to go by. I guess it's more a gradient, than anything else. And I'm...not crazy -enough- to have my own cell? Right?" She laughs a bit at that, and then nods, agreeing with Iris, yet again.
"Yes, I would have to say that this is..not the norm for me. I'm not exactly plastered on the tabloid rags for meltdowns. It's just...trying to figure out what avenue to go...with the relationship..s...." She draws out the word, because in all reality, she does have two relationships. One with Batman, and another with Bruce Wayne...and if she really wants to think about it accurately, then the third, with Bruce, the man that pulls together the other two...masks. Her nose crinkles slightly at that thought. He's so much more complex than she'd ever ventured.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2013 17:15:13 GMT -5
Iris is quickly nodding at Selina's words, as she entirely expected that this would be the answer. Even so, she's seems to take her time in thinking it over before she says, "So it's the process of it that you enjoy? That's understandable - there's a great deal of personal satisfaction to be had in having and using a well-developed skill. I mean, for example, if things work out between me and my boyfriend, I doubt that I'd need to keep working here to live comfortably but I also doubt that I'd want to quit - like I said, I don't do this for the money. I partly do this simply because to stop would be to allow something I put a great deal of myself into go to waste, and that would make me feel less like I'm thriving as a person." Just because Iris doesn't have the same skillset as Selina doesn't mean that she can't identify with the emotions that go along with using it.
"And no - no you're far too in touch with reality for this place. But if you start believing you are a cat, do let me know," she says, only partly joking. Not that she has any concerns that Selina's mental health will degenerate - and especially not to that degree - but she is very well aware the sheer number of patients, including many rogues, are at that level of insanity. To meet one of the ones who isn't is actually a bit refreshing to her, actually. She knew already, of course, that there are several who are just about as sane as the average person, but those aren't the ones she's had the pleasure of meeting.
At Selina's last words, Iris looks very thoughtful for a moment, before she says, "Perhaps this might be a good way of tackling that question: Assuming everything goes as well as you could ever hope for, where do you see yourself in five years with Bruce? And what about the same with Batman? And what about ten years?" Which she's certain must be a much more difficult question for Selina than it would be for the average woman contemplating a relationship, given the sheer complexity involved in this situation. For Iris to answer the same question about Nathaniel would be ridiculously easy by comparison.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2013 2:02:02 GMT -5
It's not only the process, but the activity, if you really want to break it down. But while she doesn't want to give away her trade secrets, she just nods instead. It does raise her attention a bit more when Iris divulges a bit of her personal life in their session; it makes her quite happy to know that the woman that is helping her, has someone else in her life... and it's rather stable.
But the adage about not doing it for the money hits home. She doesn't exactly do what she does...for the money anymore. Since she's been able to start her company, it's more about the challange, and helping others. "I can entirely agree with you on that. Once you develop a skill...if you don't use it, just like a toned muscle. Don't use it, you lose it." As Iris goes on to denote that Selina is somewhat of a sound mind, she smiles again, bursting into laughter a bit. "Well, I am not that far. I just seem to emulate some of the classier traits of the feline, and eschew the others. I mean, there are worse animals to have modeled myself after. A bat isn't the first thing I think of when I picture justice, or something menancing."
The final questions that Iris poses to her cause her to pause, and think. Where will she be in five, and ten years with both personalities, both 'men?' Pursing her lips, it takes her a bit of time to debate. She knows where she would perferto be, or even like to be, but some plans don't do well when made so far in advance. So as she clears her throat, she vocalizes her 'wishes' for the future.
"I believe I'd hope Bruce and I could be in something committed. Possibly engaged, hopefully married. It would take quite a bit of communication, and more than a bit of compromise, considering both of our respective companies, and lifestyles. As for Batman, well, I'd like the same. We'd have to come to some sort of understanding, especially with my gifts....if we were ever to come to some sort of happy conclusion. If we could use my skills....for aquestion of data, or in some way...help his persuit of justice, then I could see it working. But there is no way I could do flat out stealing, and be at his side that I could even contemplate." In no way does Selina mention the complexity of divulging that she'd be close to one man, and the other, because, well, it's the same man to her. Well, the same man, with different facets. But that small detail evades her in retelling her wants, and wishes to her therapist.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2013 3:01:25 GMT -5
Iris smiles widely as Selina speaks of cats. She doesn't actually have much cat experience, and can't say that she feels any particular way about them, but she has admired them from afar and nods easily as Selina says she could have done worse. Though as she goes on to joke about bats, the smile changes to a slightly more excited look. "Oh, I know why he chose a bat! The image he wants in a criminal's mind is not that justice or even some sort of definable menace is after them. No, a bat is a mysterious creature of the night, rarely seen, but with countless myths and urban legends about them... Batman chose a bat because he is the criminal's bogeyman - a mysterious, unstoppable... thing that will come and get you if you don't behave," she says, smiling faintly for a moment until she can't hold in a small laugh at the mental image.
But in spite of that humor, she's quick to shift her focus on the more serious matter at hand - while Selina listed off several problems when she came in, it's her own relationships that seem to be the heaviest issue so what she's saying now is very important. There's something in what she describes that causes a somewhat vague look of surprise to touch Iris's face, but then she nods as she considers that answer. "Hmm, what you say about Bruce sounds very... normal, actually. True, it's not every couple where each has their own company to juggle, but every relationship is a matter of communication, compromise, and especially commitment. But if you and Bruce both decide you want that, I see no reason why that wouldn't work. The only really had part is figuring out if that is what you both want or not - and there's no easy shortcuts for that," she says, her smile about that looking very sympathetic.
"Now, with Batman... very complicated. But you have the right idea: for you to have that with him, he needs to be able to accept you. And about the best you can do is, well, be as white as you can be while still feeling like yourself for Mr. Black and White and hope that it's good enough for him. If it's not... well, call me a hopeless romantic, but I think that it's better to give these things a try and fail than it is to not try at all. Worst case scenario, a couple of hearts are broken - bad, but not the end of the world," she says, her smile turning confident.
Of course, she hasn't failed to notice that she's sitting here giving a woman advice on two men at once. Which is... interesting. And naturally she can't help but wonder how that aspect fits in. The thought does occur to her that it might make sense of the two men are the same man... but that would be Bruce Wayne and Batman? That sounds so off that she doesn't consider the idea for more than a few moments before it's shrugged off into some mental 'maybe' pile. Meanwhile, she suspects it's more likely a love triangle... Only she doesn't get a sense at all from Selina that she's really worried about how the two men would react to finding out... Especially given that she'd think that Batman especially would have little trouble discovering it... But then Selina isn't asking any questions about that thorny business, so she won't touch on it. Yet she can't help but speculate on what it might mean for Selina not to be concerned enough to bring that up when she's been more and more open to talking about everything else. Hmm...
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2013 17:35:52 GMT -5
Her nose cringes at that thought. She doesn't -quite- agree, and knows the reason why Bruce -did- chose a bat, but isn't going to divulge such sensitive information. Not right now. So instead she nods, giving off the impression that she's contemplating the why's it's a Bat, as well. She offers a smile to the other woman as well after she notices the small laugh as well.
"I agree. I guess in the course of our relationship, we'll just have to get to that hurdle, when we get there. It's highly about communication, I agree. There really is no shortcut; you're right. We'll just have to sit and talk about that at some point, or let life events, well, help us out on that front. And Batman. Oh boy. We'd have to come to some sort of....agreement, if that makes sense. But it is something that I will have to put on the table, and, like with Bruce, will need to be discussed, there is no way about it. And the whole..night life, day life. I play just as hard as I work...and it could be said I have two jobs. So..time management, as well as play management comes into the discussion, as well as trust. Not that we haven't trusted each other prior, but..we've worked together, and if he wants to get to know the woman behind the mask, well...he may have to earn it." Broken hearts, at this point, may not come into play. Broken noses, ribs, bones, that is more what she could, and can see, sadly. Shifting again on the couch, she thinks on those two snippets of advice. All of this is pointing to the fact she needs to see Bruce, and talk with him. Over dinner, somewhere private, and not rushed.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2013 4:53:16 GMT -5
As lost at Iris can get in her own speculations, she's easily pulled from them as Selina seems to think over out loud about all of what she'll need to do in order to give these relationships a good chance. And she can't help but smile slightly as Selina even touches on the fact that the compromises and work can't be one-sided. It's very satisfactory to hear her being able to basically organize these thoughts that seemed to have been so much more muddled when she came in. Yes, she's sure that Selina will be all right.
Still, just because one can organize the pieces of a problem doesn't mean that it's solved yet. And the thought occurs to Iris that there's yet another piece of advice she should probably offer. "You have a lot of things to sort out," she observes, "But one thing that I should mention: while it's very, very useful to look far ahead at the future so that you can make plans, it's rarely useful to worry too far ahead. Worrying alone is actually quite helpful - it warns you to be careful when you're doing something risky. But if you're worried about Step 17 while you're working on Step 5 - that isn't helpful at all. You don't even know if you're going to get to Step 17, let alone how the situation might change before you get there when you're on Step 5. And it takes up valuable brainspace if you don't stop yourself - it can distract you from making good decisions about the here and now.
"But it's literally possible for you to tell yourself to just stop it if you notice that you're doing it. What helps me is to visualize my worries as clutter on my desk, and some of it I temporarily put to one side so that I have room to work on the more important things. And if I find myself doing some premature worrying, I tell myself that I'm a smart woman who will figure that problem out... later - when I actually need to - because I have other urgent things to do. And that's usually enough to convince myself that it's safe to let that line of thought alone for awhile," she explains, smiling again as she asks, "Does that sound useful to you?" Because if it works for Selina, it could potentially lighten her stress load even further.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2013 18:36:40 GMT -5
Selina nods, herself picturing all of her own issues much like Iris said, as a cluttered desk. Step one would be talking to Bruce, breaking the ice. Then perhaps dinner, then a private place to discuss Batman. Mentally as she walks through these, it does seem to make everything a lot..neater, if that is even possible for her situation. Work about one part, then the next will come into play.
"It's quite linear, and quite brilliant, honestly. Very useful, and no doubt you could figure out that by my brief, brief silence that I grasped the concept." Beaming, she nods again, solidifying her appreciation for this new tool. "It's much like how I tend to, well, plot out my own plans. Heists, I guess you could call them. If there is an obstacle at point a, I don't even worry about the next obstacle several minutes down the line, because I have to first overcome that hurdle. I just never thought to apply the step by step technique, well, to life."
Now, if only she can nail down the illusive Batman, and hammer out the details of where they are headed next, and go from hurdle one, to ..however many they need, without fretting, or working herself up too much over something she really, honestly has no control over. Pursing her lips, Selina offers up another question. "How....similar do you believe a couple's vocations, or even...moral leanings need to be, for something to work? Or can good communication, dedication, and compromise really overcome all? Oh, and love. Can't forget about that, passion, attraction, like you've mentioned!" She adds with a chuckle.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2013 4:56:32 GMT -5
Iris's smile grows bigger as Selina explains how she already uses that concept in a different part of her life. "Oh, that's excellent! It's much easier to apply a concept you're already familiar with to something new rather than having to start from scratch. Perhaps it would be helpful for you to intentionally start thinking of these problems as if they were heists - the only real difference between the two is the goal and skills you're using to achieve it. The planning process can be exactly the same if you choose to think of it that way," she says with a smile, knowing she's hit upon something that ought to work well for Selina. After all, given the fact that Selina has never been caught, her way of working out problems during heists must be very excellent indeed.
The question that Selina asks next is hardly surprising. And fortunately, it's not a difficult one for her to answer - working out what the best advice to give on a situation as complex as Selina's is very tricky, but this point is a lot more generic. Even to the point that she could quote studies on the subject. "Well, the research into that very set of questions shows that it's always easier the more similar two people are. But that's because the more different they are in those sorts of things, the more they have to rely on those other skills to see them through the disagreements - so whether or not it 'works' varies from couple to couple depending on how big the difference is and whether their skills are enough to compensate for it," she explains easily.
"But there is one thing you didn't mention," she's quick to add, "Respect for the difference of opinion is key. When you look at what someone does or what they believe and can't help but think that they have to be crazy, stupid, bad, or anything else along those lines - that's a problem. You can tolerate it for awhile but eventually that will become a wedge between you, especially if it's a big issue. If, on the other hand, you can see why they do it even though you disagree and can truly respect their choice, then it becomes possible for the disagreements to be worked through."
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2013 13:18:31 GMT -5
Selina laughs gleefully at Iris. "And who says I don't already frame them like heists? It's just not as socially correct to apply that term to people, outside your own thinking." As she runs through a few similar scenarios in her mind, she comes to the conclusion that what Iris is saying, greatly works with her own method of planning, and that this will be something she will add to her 'tool box' of sorts.
As Iris then goes into a lovely answer on her question, she has to think. She's always well respected this person, and they've been friends. And while she does roll her eyes at times, and tend to think him crazy, doesn't he do the same in the sort of similar eye-rolling manner? At what point do you go for something similar, and happy, or something that challenges you...even if it is similar. While she herself starts to compare and contrast those, it is a topic she's not quite ready to verbalize yet, her silence making that clear.
"Thank you for that bit of advice. It seems that sometimes...all it takes it to hear it referenced, and framed in a different manner for it to make the most sense," she adds quietly.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2013 19:36:48 GMT -5
"It's not as socially correct to think of everyone you meet like a patient either," Iris comments, as if making a random statement that has nothing to do with anything. Though once she's said it, her expression shifts into a slightly guilty smile - Selina's not the only one who blurs over the lines when it comes to using her talents in all aspects of her life. It's helpful though - a lot of her friends probably wouldn't be completely comfortable knowing that Iris analyzes them so carefully, but it helps her to know how to react to a person when she knows why they are the way they are.
She doesn't mind it at all when Selina doesn't comment much on the answer to her question - some of the reasons why she asked are immediately obvious, after all, and clearly Selina has a lot of things to process before she'd be able to make any firm decisions based on it. And it'll take a lot more than this therapy session to do it. Still, it's very good to see the difference between the woman who walked in and the one sitting in front of her now - there's a sense of confidence, as even though Selina is going to have to get out there and face the same load of problems she walked in with, she can see better how to tackle them in a manageable way.
Iris nods to Selina's words and smiles as she says, "Well, you're welcome! If half of what I've said here has been helpful, I figure I've done something right." Like anyone in any profession, she has her good days and her bad days no matter how hard she tries to only have the former. "Is there anything else that we haven't covered?" she asks, knowing that they spent a lot of time on and around what was mostly one topic. Then again, there's nothing wrong with that if that's indeed the most important topic.
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