Affairs of the Heart.

[Deleted]

The receptionist had been nice enough. As the questions had been easy enough, as well. Selina prefered a female Doctor, was there to talk about 'anxiety and relationship concerns.' Simple enough answers to get her in the door. It was just...that actally getting to the door was causing her to drag her feet. After Nina's recomendation of not Arkham, Selina had hoped there was at least a female on the staff. A question she could've asked Pam. Ivy. Whatever. Maybe she would after her appointment? Hey, stopped by to see the head Doctor and thought I'd bring you a coffee, too! She could just imagine this Doctor Ledford asking she she'd gone left, instead of right at one of the crossings in the Asylum, and herself responding 'Just going to see a friend!' rather chipper. Not gonna happen.

But even as she had gone through the motions to get dressed, and call a car to drop her off, she was nervous. Something not standard for her. Not that she hadn't seen a shrink prior..it was more, how to explain things. I'm a thief, he fights crime, I just found out he's Gotham's Golden Boy, and I'm a security specialist and high-profile philanthropist that reverse-engineers her day job after the sun has gone down. And my friends all want to kill him. And his friends want to see me next door in Blackgate. And one of my friends, just shot his ex-girlfriend.

She sighed loudly, the cabbie glancing back at her through the rear-view mirror. Smiling tentatively, she'd paid him a bit extra to not say a damn word until she'd arrived at the facility. Facility, such a better word than Shrink's office. Psychologist. Whatever. Fiddling again with her purse, she shoved it to the side. Jeans were a good choice. And her soft, calf-skin, knee high boots. A light, fitted emerald blouse. Delicate silver earrings, ring, and bracelets. A bit lighter than her nightly fair, but good enough. Her hair was slung into a low-ponytail, draped over her right shoulder, sunglasses, because well, the sun hurt her eyes, even during the day, after she'd been awake. And everyone, well, nearly everyone wore them in Gotham.

Soon enough, she was there, and handed over the cash to the cabbie. She'd see him in an hour, and if she wasn't out in an hour, he'd wait. And she'd pay. Money was something she didn't lack. So as she exited the vehicle, and glanced up at the behemoth that was Arkham Asylum, she was quite glad she was here voluntarily, and not forced. Either way, she stole things, so her place would be at Blackgate.

That was not a helpful note.

It wasn't hard to find the waiting room, a smallish area in need of updating where she gave her name, and her appointment time. The receptionist had her fill out and sign a few things before she was invited to sit and wait. And wait she did, pulling out her phone and going over a few emails, until the good doctor would call her back.

[Deleted]

Iris is not very nervous about her next appointment. Of course, with the exception of Nathaniel, not much in her day to day life makes her very nervous (and he makes her the good kind of nervous). Perhaps the worst would be a certain few of her patients who sometimes become violent when it's unexpected, though most of those have been so before so it's not totally out of the blue.

Compared to that, meeting with a new outpatient is hardly a big deal - there's some greater interest because she's meeting someone new that expects her to be able to help with who knows what problem, but she tends to see that sort of a thing as an adventure of sorts and it would take far more than a new patient to knock her off her even keel. And when she glances over the note the receptionist took about the initial phone call, she's even further relaxed - 'anxiety and relationship concerns' aren't something she's worried about treating. Not that she doesn't consider that sort of thing to be a very real problem, but it's also a blessedly normal problem.

When it's almost time for the appointment to start, she first stops by the reception desk to pick up some of the paperwork that Ms. Kyle filled out - it's all the standard fare that the asylum always asks anyone, but though she'd be the first to say that it's of limited usefulness, it's not completely useless so she glances it over. One of the sheets of paper is a quick survey that's supposed to screen new patients for signs of the most common disorders to help guide the therapist to what the real problem is - personally, she thinks that it's more effective to simply ask the patient. But it's good to know going in if there are obvious red flags like too many 'yes' answers in the section about suicidal thoughts or hearing voices and the like.

Skimming over that and the sheet asking if, when, and why she's seen a therapist previously, Iris is quick to tuck the paperwork into a folder - again, it's much better to actually meet the patient than to pay too much attention to anything in the paperwork. So she steps into the doorway of the waiting area. "Selina Kyle?" she asks. And with only a handful of people there, half of them men, she's quick to spot the woman whose attention was grabbed by the name. She gives her a warm smile, waiting for her to come close before introducing herself. "I'm Dr. Iris Ledford. If you'll come with me, I'll show you to my office," she says, turning down the hallway.

Like the rest of the asylum, it's bland and makes no attempts to soften the fact that you're in an unpleasant place. Iris herself, however, does make some attempt to fix that - she's wearing a pair of light gray pants with a warm yellow blouse and a pair of white ballet flats. She's minimal on both makeup and jewelry, but that's only practical given some of her work. She has her hair pulled back in a simple ponytail - again, for practical reasons - letting function trump form when it comes to her appearance, though at least the blouse and shoes hint at a fun personality and the fact that she could do better if she wasn't at work. Nathaniel's the only one that she cares to impress anyway, and he's always insisting that she looks good in anything. "Did you have any trouble finding your way here?" she asks curiously as she leads the way past several doors before they finally get to hers.

Compared to the rest of the asylum, Iris's office is downright soothing. Intentionally, in fact - the eyes are invited to relax by being greeted with the lower level of light coming from several scattered lamps, and the ears by the faint trickle of the small fountain on her filing cabinet. "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable," she invites, leaving it up to Selina to decide what that means. Most of her patients simply sit on the couch, though more than one has chosen to lay on it instead. The plush rug on the floor has been used as well. As for Iris, she sets the file folder on her desk and trades it for a notepad and a pen before sitting on the chair in front of her desk, though perhaps in an effort to make this feel less formal she has one leg tucked underneath her.

Once she's settled, Iris quickly writes Selina's name and the date on the top of the page as she asks, "Why don't you start by telling me why you're here?" The moment she's done writing she turns to Selina and gives her an encouraging smile. She knows that it's tough to find yourself suddenly sitting with a stranger and being expected to just open up about your problems, even if you know that the person is supposedly trained to help you. And sometimes a particular therapist and patient just aren't a good match. But she does suspect and already has high hopes that this will be a good one - after all, she already senses some similarities here. Same gender, roughly the same age, and if you rewind the clock just shy of ten years and Iris would have been the one complaining about 'anxiety and relationship concerns' - there's bound to be a lot of common ground here.

[Deleted]

This is something new for her. Anxiety. The crying. Even talking with Nina has had it's ups and downs. Nina is almost too entrenched in everything, which is part of Selina's problem even. So when she hears her name called by the not quite petite woman, her head pops up with a smile as she slings her purse over her shoulder and stands, rather confidently and makes her way to whom she presumes is Dr. Iris Ledford. That hunch is confirmed as the woman identifies herself, and makes sure to affirm Selina is who she is. Nodding, she follows quietly after the woman, noting the blandness of everything. Quietly, near silently she follows Iris, and exhales in relief as the office she's about to be confined to is rather homey. The furnishings speak much about the woman who chose them, and she's glad; green eyes glance about the room as she steps to the couch, and tucks her own feet beneath her as she settles in, and faces the woman she's going to be pouring her heart out to. Or at least, trying to.

It's not like she hasn't been to a shrink before. When she was younger...well, that will come out later, but she's been to one before. One could even say it's where she honed her acting, and lying prowess, amongst other useful 'life skills' that she tends to downplay. After a bit of settling in, she finally stops moving, and places her hands across her knees. If she starts to get antsy, there is something she can fuss with in her purse, but she'd rather not take that out, quite yet. It's much too telling of her character, and, well, she doesn't want to give that much away.

"Oh, no problem finding the place. My...profession tends to handle this sort of facility, in one aspect." Such a better answer than,"Not at all, I was here visiting a friend a week or two ago, and regularly tangle with the rest, and the others, we drink socially at least once, or twice a week." Pursing her lips, Selina doesn't even know where to start. Instead she tilts her head backward, glancing up at the ceiling, and while it's not particularly interesting, it's easier than bursting into tears.

"I guess...it's just life. I'm doing well, but...things have just sort of ....imploded, and exploded, all at the same time. I'm caught between two friends after they broke up, and one got rather, violent. And then the man...I'm involved with...decides to spring another side of him on me....and it's all....complicated." Tilting her head down, Selina realizes everything sounds so damn generic. But what else is she supposed to say? And can she really trust Dr. Ledford, considering that she herself is in security, and, her social status, and everything? "And to be honest, I feel that in a way, I can't talk about any of this because of a project I've been working on, and my name is in the press...and it's just a lot of stress, and I'm usually able to handle it. And my good friend...can usually help talk me through things..but she's too..involved now." The last cluster of words comes out in a rush, and Selina can't stop herself now; she feels the tears welling in her eyes. No doubt the Doctor thinks she's a mess, even with her vagueness. There's just no real...way to explain that she's Catwoman, and of course everyone knows Catwoman has a 'thing' with Batman, and now she actually knows who Batman is, and he's known who she is for a while, even seen her in the shower, and she's really Selina Kyle, and Batman is really Bruce Wayne, so she's known who the man behind the goddamn mask is anyway. And now that her friend, oh, you know, Edward Nigma, The Riddler has near fatally stabbed his ex-girlfriend, her friend....and her involvement with Batman has Eddie pissed, and Nina is almost better, but now what to do about Edward coming back to finish the job. And that's not even the start. There is Edward taking her to the Museum....and Lex, and Bruce...and...

...And the fact that fucking Bruce Wayne is Batman? That thought alone would get her a month in a cell at Arkham. Then again, she might not have to deal with all that has been going on. And she'd be able to visit with Pam, no?

Instead Selina reaches into her purse and grabs a handkerchief, and presses it to her lower right eyelid. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

[Deleted]

"Oh? And what is it that you do?" Iris asks curiously when Selina mentions her profession. Though that's an only natural question to ask, it's also a useful one: what someone chooses to do for a living says a lot about them, especially if it's not a job they're only doing until they can get the one they want.

But that's the sort of question that only scratches the surface of someone's psyche, while asking them why they feel like they need to be talking to a professional dives right into the deep end - though the answer that they give often misses the mark slightly. Though that's only to be expected, actually - few people are self-aware enough to identify the roots of their problems, instead only able to see the results of it. Still, that's where you have to begin, so she listens very carefully as Selina explains why she came in and writes down the main points with a thoughtful expression. Sadly, domestic violence and related crimes are all too common - and certainly a reason for anxiety if it happened between two friends. And she suspects that the man that Selina is 'involved with' would be one that's in that awkward stage where he's not quite her boyfriend, if she's not calling him that - also a stressful stage. Add all that to the usual stress any woman who is as successful as this one appears to be, and of course she'd feel overwhelmed.

Though as Selina goes on to explain why she's being so vague, Iris puts down her pen and simply listens, though the instant that tears start to threaten, she reaches behind her to snatch the box of tissues on her desk and then places them next to Selina on the couch where she can reach them easily if she decides that her handkerchief isn't enough. A common enough move for her to make, because as she explains, "There's no need to apologize - if I had a dollar for every tear that's been shed in this room, I'd be a very wealthy woman."

Giving a sympathetic smile as she leans back in her chair, she adds, "And when it comes to secrets - well, I realize that we've only just met and you have no reason to trust me. But I will tell you that I take confidentiality very seriously. Nothing you say here will leave this room unless I consult with another psychologist, and if I do then I'll ensure that you can't be identified as the source unless something comes up that I'm required to report. And that list is surprisingly small - the law recognizes that I can't do my job properly if you can't speak freely. In fact, if I were to set aside my ethical objections and do it anyway, then I would get into all kinds of trouble. That said, if you want to leave out the details, that's okay. It does mean that deciding how to best treat you will involve a lot more guesswork, but that choice is entirely yours." She's given that little speech a number of times before, but her tone is very sincere.

Having said all of that, her eyes flicker back to her notepad for a moment to bring Selina's list of stressors back to mind. Pondering them for a moment, her eyes turn back Selina and she asks, "Do you know what it means to reframe a problem?"

[Deleted]

What is it that she does? Well, if that's not a loaded question. She knows exactly what Iris is asking. It's a question that not only belies what you love to do...but why you do it. It's more than just a profession, or even worse 'occupation,' or 'job,' but speaks to what..you may have lost in the younger, more formative years.

Cracking a bit of a smile, Selina shakes her head. Those non-major classes are coming back to her, now, even if they weren't art, or art history, or something that was her extra-curricular compendium.

There is more than enough information packed into that simple answer; she hopes. But what she's really not saying is that at night....she does the opposite. She steals. And either way you look at it, she reverse engineers the other gig, and is quite good at it. But the reason why behind that? Now that is where the light is shed. She's always either looking to get something, or vice versa, protect it.

And why? Well, that hearkens back to her childhood, no doubt. As Doctor Ledford offers her a box of tissues, she smiles. It's a harder question to answer, and answer it honestly, and truthfully. "Thank you. I've been to therapy before, but I was much younger. And now that I'm...older, my position in Gotham's papers, and my own company could easily be compromised. And, well, you know what I do, so I value anonymity quite highly." A peculiar thing for someone who relishes the spotlight at Galas, and the notoriety of being Gotham's prima donna thief. "I'd just rather nothing more be taken from me, and need to be ransomed," she adds quietly, removing a tissue and blowing her nose. "I can't imagine this job makes you the millions, but more than likely does afford something non-comparable with those you speak with." She's meaning the Villains. One of those that is her friend, not that she's going to out and out mention that Pamela Isley is someone she'd consider a friend. Or that Harvey 'Two-Face' Dent is another close friend, a man she shares a nearly sibling like relationship with.

Shifting slightly against the cushions, Selina neatly folds the tissue, and lays it gingerly atop her already folded, and damp handkerchief. Nodding, she understands that to a degree, she will have to be truthful. And how truthful, will determine how much peace of mind she'll take from this. "I understand I'll get out of this, only to the extent I put in," she murmurs quietly, a glimmer of a much younger, more naive; yet still defiant Selina shining through momentarily.

"And yes, I do know what that refers to." Selina adds, the life returning to her green eyes as she looks back up at the Doctor. Reframing a problem is what she does at both jobs....it's something that she is able to do, but never thought to apply to this part of her life. And, she calls it something else, but after Iris mentions it, seems like a remarkably smart way to look at the whole scenario.

[Deleted]

Hmm, doesn't want to say what she does? Iris can't not find that very interesting. It could mean so many things... But she's willing to set that question aside for now - doubtless she'll get hints of the answer to that anyway during the session, and perhaps even the full story if she's patient. Like she'd said, there's little reason for trust here just yet, though as they talk that's bound to change. The only question really is how fast that will happen and whether they'll reach that point before the woman decides that she's gotten what she needs from the therapy. But she's one that takes the position that if something needs to come out, then it will, and if it doesn't then it probably didn't need to - at least if the therapist is halfway competent.

So she isn't that phased as Selina explains further about why she doesn't want to say too much about certain things. Instead she gives Selina an encouraging smile and says, "It's okay - I understand. This world we live in can be very ruthless, especially in this city. You learn to be cautious, or you get deeply hurt." A lesson that she's learned herself a bit, though compared to what many of her patients have been through she knows that her own pain and struggles from that only scratch the surface of what could have happened to her.

"And believe it or not, I do this job because I want to help people, not for the money," she says with a smile, but she does add, "Though the money is nothing to sneeze at: millions, no - thousands, yes." Plenty enough to meet her needs, especially since she's currently focused enough on her career that she's not getting out and having fun very much. Well, except for her dates with Nathaniel, but he pays for those. Of course, her idea of a fun date isn't that expensive anyway.

But all of that is an aside to the true reason that they're here: helping Selina feel less overwhelmed and cope better with all the things she's having to deal with. And she smiles when Selina indicates that she knows about reframing - saves on explaining it. "Good! Because I do know a few perspectives that you can take when life seems overwhelming that helps cut it all down to size, so to speak. Why don't we try one?" she suggests. It's a rather basic way of trying to help tackle this problem, but sometimes the more basic things are the most powerful. And they're also the furthest reaching, which is the best she can do when she doesn't know the specifics of the problems she's trying to address - it's a bit like a medical doctor prescribing a broad spectrum antibiotic for a patient with a mystery illness.

"I want you to try to become consciously aware of the present. It is, in all actuality, the only thing that exists. The past doesn't exist - it's already happened, you can't go back there, it can't be changed. Even this sentence I'm speaking exists only as a memory the moment that it's been said. And all the emotions that you feel about the past - the guilt, the anger, and even the joys are based on something that only exists in your mind. And the future doesn't exist either - it hasn't happened yet. It isn't here. And all your worries, anxieties, and anticipations are again based on something that only exists in your mind. What is real is that you're here, in my office, sitting on my couch, listening to my voice and my fountain. And you're breathing in and you're breathing out..." she pauses to demonstrate, inhaling sharply and deeply through her nose before strongly blowing the breath out through her mouth. And then she adds, "And life is pretty good, is it not? Quite peaceful at the moment, really."

[Deleted]

Realizing with a mild bit of horror that she's entirely danced around what she does, and answered Iris' question in her mind, Selina blanches a bit (Total OOC mind-fart, I apologize!), realizing she never quite vocalized to the doctor what she did. "Oh! Shit! I'm sorry. I own my own Security company. A bit like a Private Investigator, but I specialize in ..well, preventing thefts. Or home security, or putting in cameras, that sort of thing." She's rather embarassed about the omission, catching the slight hiccup in the other woman's body language makes sense now. To say that she's not more than a bit nervous is an understatement. Nodding as the doctor answers her own questions, and without abandon gives her much credit. And makes Selina want to pour out everything to her. And by that, she feels that all of her life could be entrusted to this woman. It's not the bevy of plaques and credentials on the wall, but the vibe she's giving off, and her own intuition that is saying good things about her.


And of course, it's the fact that Iris isn't just spouting pop-culture bullshit at her and has some bullshitty name. Even better. So when Selina acknowledges she knows the term, she nods, listening to what she is about to be instructed to do. Taking in all the instructions isn't that hard, but the focusing aspect, is. Exhaling first, she thinks of each word she hearing floating away like an autum leaf. It's not hard to focus on just the words; the voice, the timber, the way they flow. She tries to immerse herself in just what is the now and hopes she is succeeding. While she tends to focus on the myriad of possibilies, and how to get in and out of things, she at times forgets to focus on the here and now. Other times...she over focuses. It all depends on the situation. Adaptability.

Modelling her own breathing after Iris', she feels a bit of tension flow out of her system, before she feels the rush of emotions flood back into her. Bruce, Batman, Eddie, Nina. Her parents. Her life. School. Work now. The benefit. Her body tenses, and she sharply inhales in a truncated cry of pain. As much as she wants to hold on to the peace, and moreso, the peace of mind, she feels that it's going to be taken from her, if she doesn't do something first.

[Deleted]

"Ah!" Iris says as Selina explains her line of work, though she's quick to laugh off the omission and say, "Don't worry about it - it's perfectly normal to forget things when you're nervous." She makes a quick note in her records about the woman's occupation, commenting, "I'm sure you get good business in this city - even I have three locks on my door, and I don't have much worth stealing right now." Not unless there's a thief out there who is interested in a house full of strictly middle-class household goods, very minimal electronics, and jewelry that's very modest amounts and quality. Like she told Selina, her salary is nothing to sneeze at, but she hasn't had this job for that long yet and she's been very busy doing her job - the money has been accumulating in her bank account instead of being used to upgrade her living quarters. Perhaps when she becomes fully licensed she'll take some time off.

As she guides Selina through this exercise, she watches the woman carefully. It actually isn't that hard to see just how well she's succeeding or not, because she the tension gradually leaving Selina's body is very visible in her body language. And then, not unexpectedly, it all comes back in a rush. "It's okay - let it come back," she comforts immediately, keeping her voice as soothing as possible. "You had a bit of it there for a moment - not bad for your first try!" she says with a sincere smile, "It's very, very difficult to hold onto that feeling for very long - even I have trouble with it. That part of your mind that is just too certain that all the stuff you're ignoring is important is really powerful."

Her expression turns sympathetic as she asks, "Are you okay? I know that it can feel a little... intense when you lose your focus and it all comes back - it's always the hardest the first time." For her it's always like waking up too early from a very good dream - you want so much to hang onto the good feelings just a bit longer but it slips through your fingers like water, and before you know it you've got nothing.

"It gets much easier with practice, though - that's called 'centering' yourself. And it's possible to feel that feeling of peace stronger and for longer if you work at it - eventually you can get to the point where you come out of it focused and ready to tackle all the things that were demanding your attention, because they've been put in their place," she explains while she carefully observes Selina. She's not too concerned, as the feelings that Selina is returning to are the same ones that she walked in with, but based on that cry of pain perhaps the load was heavier than she expected? Or, hopefully, she was just disappointed not to hang onto the peaceful emotions for longer.

[Deleted]

Selina laughed slightly at the description of Iris' home. "Interesting business, if nothing more. But you're quite correct. Then again, I was left with a bit of money when my parents died..." The additional tidbit of information is left dangling; no excess words used to describe the situation.

As she follows the other woman's breathing techniques, she's stopped by everything flooding back. "I...don't get it." She murmurs, her head falling forward. "I do yoga, I mediate most times when I wake up," She continues, shaking her head. "My life is just too fucking complicated right now." She finally gets out, the vulgarity punctuating her statement. And while the motions that Iris is trying to lead her are something she herself has done before..she just...can't hold onto it right now. Even when she'd woke; be it in the middle of the night, or with the sun, her peace has been disturbed. Even a few of her clients, as well as Liv had noticed. Even Jasper, and that's saying something.

Shrugging, Selina answers the woman non-verbally. Ok? That's a subjective word if she's ever heard it. Is she honestly ok? Well, she's been through worse. Much, much worse. But right now, no. There is too much going on in both halves of her lives, that she needs to get it out. Especially when both of those lives are about to collide, and attempt amalgamation at the same time. Swallowing, she reaches into her purse, pulling out a small object. It's something that she has found is a 'self-soother.' It's a small combination lock. She is usually able to unlock them; without knowing the combo, just by touch. It doesn't matter what else she's doing, but the focus, or even the distraction of other stimuli; help her focus. It's an odd trinket, but it's worked for her. With a quick spin of the dial, she's visably calmed herself slightly, and back looking at her therapist.


"I...have my own methods of centering, usually. Yoga. I have a bar I use at home; I used to be a gymnast. Music. This." She flashes the small lock to the other woman. "But just...all the events lately that have built up and compounded have just...derailed every single thing that I turn to. And I think the only option at this point, is just being honest."

Taking in a rather large amount of air into her lungs, she hopes it keeps her from spilling all her secrets. She's seeing Bruce Wayne. She's involved with Batman. Or is it seeing Batman, and involved with Bruce Wayne? She sees both of them on a daily basis, but still. The complications that come with just being involved with one man or the other could keep Iris employed for quite a while. But both? and considering who she is? She just feels screwed over. So while those thoughts rush over her, Selina's fingers start their magic, the lock slipping from her fingers to the floor with a soft thud as she is enveloped in a series of deep-seated sobs.

[Deleted]

Perhaps unexpectedly, Iris doesn't immediately pounce on the comment about Selina's parents, instead simply nodding. She does note it down in her notepad because obviously it's an important fact that would have an impact on the woman's psyche, but whether it happened when Selina was young or older it's not relevant to their conversation just yet. Right now she's dealing with the surface level, and since Selina didn't mention the loss of her parents as a current problem then now is not the time. But she's willing to bet it will come up later.

But for now, her expression grows thoughtful as Selina explains that she already does yoga and meditates. Hmm, that means that these problems she's not fully explaining are even worse than Iris supposed, at least if she's using the proper technique for both. With regular practice, such exercises are a great way of training the mind to focus only upon what you want it to, and therefore the fact that she still can't is a bad sign.

Her eyes shift to the object that Selina takes out of her bag but, if only because the fact that she's doing it now would be very strange otherwise, she quickly guesses the purpose of the combination lock. It isn't necessarily a normal object to use to help center yourself further, but then again Iris knows that people simply find the thing that works for them, and anything that doesn't hurt anything is perfectly healthy in that respect. So why not use a combination lock if that's what works?

Listening as Selina explains further, Iris sees that the tears are about to come and responds instantly. It's moments like this where she's in the unfortunate position of having to be a therapist and not a friend - they're different roles and have different behavior associated with them. A friend would give Selina a big hug right now, only letting go when she's calm again. Instead Iris quietly pulls a tissue from the box next to Selina and hands it to her directly - explaining without words that she cares and wants to help, even if she can't wave a magic wand and just make it all better. Instead she does what she can - letting Selina have a few moments with her emotions, patiently waiting out the worst of it with a compassionate look on her face.

"If your methods aren't working, all that means that you need a few more," she says quietly, keeping her voice soothing but making sure that her confidence is firmly behind it as well. Because she is confident - Selina would have to be doing much worse than even this before Iris would worry. So there's all the reason in the world to be nothing but hopeful that things will only get better. "Do you feel like you're not being honest with yourself?" she asks a moment later, as the last thing that she'd said is a definite idea to explore further.

[Deleted]

Well, if it were just that easy, Selina wouldn't be here. She'd probably be in Blackgate, awaiting a lovely expedited plane trip to DC, or wherever they send high-profile criminals with a record like hers. Not that any knows, or is even aware there is a record on Selina Kyle, but still. She had that early one...well, lost. Eradicated. And the few people that do know, well, have their own secrets as risk just as well.

So when Selina takes the tissue, folding it twice before dabbing at her watering eyes, she sniffles, before picking up the opened lock, and setting it back in her lap. She wished Nina was here. Or her mother. Or Grandfather. Or someone that would understand the necessity of secrecy, and at times...the inability to speak.

"I...agree." She first responds to her therapist, not quite trusting her voice quite yet. The waves of strong emotion still have her in it's grips, and she's unsure of her speaking will have her sounding like a shrill banshee, or scared child; neither of which she is at the moment, other than a strongly conflicted woman with a need of release.

"I feel that I am being honest with myself. I just....can't be honest with a handful of people, or more than a handful that I already am honest with." She's speaking cyclically. There is a handful of people she can speak with, its just..they are quite biased. And if she does go to an outside source? Well, that puts her entire life at risk.

Offering her hands up in a dejected way, they drop back to her lap, her entire countenance seeming defeated. "It's more...just....in my line of work, that there are secrets that need to be kept, identities that aren't quite allowed to everyone. Maybe, the stresses akin to a CIA, or FBI agent? And while I want to tell you all about the man I'm seeing...and involved with, I just...don't want to jeopardize his...sense of being, nor mine." She sighs, a deep, quick breath inflating her chest and giving her a bit of worth.

"So..if there is a way we can maybe approach things in that way, it might be able to relieve some of the stressors in my own life. And...you're right. I don't mean that in a condescending way, Dr. Ledford. I just...the avenues that I seem to be trying to utilize to destress in my own life...really aren't working. Increased physical exertion through my workouts, my standard methods of yoga, relaxation, and meditation....it's almost detracting from my more intricate work moments. And usually I'm able to re-focus after added measures."

Her words take on a clinical tone, even if she's being vague in a general way. She's not trying to do it on purpose, but the businesswoman in her is sneaking out in her vernacular.

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Actually, it is that easy. For any problem, there is a way to solve it if you have the right tools. If you don't have the right tools, then solving it may seem to and in fact be impossible. The only hard part is identifying which tools are the right ones for the problem, especially when you're the one currently in the midst of the problem. Hence why therapy can be so helpful, though in this case matters are complicated because Iris is only getting an obscured view of the problem. But she can take that as a challenge, and they seem to be narrowing it down anyway.

She listens very carefully as Selina speaks, gleaning out the details of the problem that she can. "It sounds to me like you're saying that you feel lonely in a way," she comments, clarifying by saying, "When you keep a secret, it's like building a wall between yourself and the person you can't tell - the bigger in number and degree the secrets, the higher the wall becomes. If it becomes a central feature of your life, you find yourself walled off from everyone and you're alone even when you're surrounded by friends." She stops there to see if Selina will agree with that assessment or protest that she's being inaccurate and better clarify the situation.

Pondering a bit, she adds, "Hmm... a person's name and appearance - well, it's not completely unrelated to who they really are as a person, but it's more on a shallow, surface level. As is the exact details of their profession, age, and other things like that. What really makes a person who they are is their personality - their behavior, the sorts of choices that they tend to make, their character traits... Things that don't identify a person to anyone else unless they know them too. I guess what I'm saying is that you could tell me a lot about a person - enough for me to have some basis for understanding how your relationship with them works - without telling me which person you're talking about." Which she thinks is unnecessary, as she wasn't lying in her little speech before about her ability and willingness to keep a secret, but if that makes Selina feel better she can be accommodating to that as she needs to be.

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If she could throw money at Iris right now for her words, she would. Lots of it. Multiples of thousands, all in one dollar bills, because, well, the more, the merrier, right? But the doctor is correct in what she's saying, and the fact that it resonates with Selina is such a strong identifier, she allows the briefest of smiles to pass her lips.

"Quite lonely. And not only that, but trust..it's a hard thing to get past." She exhales quietly, her mind going nearly one hundred miles an hour. "The less I can share...the more I hold in, and get trapped by ...all of it." She muses out loud, before pausing to take in the therapists' next words. It's very true what she's saying. But..when you wear a mask, and that mask is so detailed to the point of being another persona...what then? How does one find the true person, and really, honestly identify themselves? For her, it's almost too easy, and someone would be dumb to not link Selina Kyle, and Catwoman. There are so many similarities; the reverse engineering of the night and day jobs, the animal affinities, the philanthropy. Then again, she does act differently, on some level.

"Hm." Is all she says. Perhaps it's easier for her to act as Catwoman, and Selina Kyle, CEO, philanthropist, and blah blah blah, because her values at the core are...the same. She is loyal to few, and to herself above all, rather than some man made law. But Batman, and even Bruce, Bruce Wayne...well that is different. He is such diametrically opposite..personas..that it's ...puzzling. And she knows both 'men' so well, and gets along with them both....in her own way, no, their own way, that it's uncanny. So as she sits quietly, thinking about how to phrase it exactly, she takes a moment to fixate her eyes on Iris, and take in the woman with minute perceptions, before she finally says quietly, "I'm involved with Batman, and Bruce Wayne." It's a simple, but profound statement. Especially for Selina to speak it out loud, and especially in the very home of Batman's most rivaled, well, rivals. While Iris may not see it as an odd statement, it could be taken as one. Especially if she does follow it up with her own second 'identity' later on. Waiting for the woman's reaction, Selina quietly blinks, the action almost feline in it's execution.

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Iris nods easily, not surprised that she accurately guessed the main feeling behind what Selina is trying to say. "Yes, and like the vast majority of human beings you're a social creature. Meditation, yoga, and things like that all help with stress, but most people also need to feel the support of another person," she comments, partly thinking out loud. That really does explain so much about Selina's problem - you wouldn't think that someone who works with a lot of people would feel lonely, but it's surprisingly common. It takes far more than simply being around people and making small talk with them to satisfy that need.

When Selina stops to think about what she'd said, Iris simply waits patiently for her to finish. Some might consider silences to be a bit awkward, but she knows that they can be quite valuable sometimes - especially in this sort of setting. At times it just takes a few moments for thoughts to settle in or words to be found to articulate something properly, and trying to rush things only causes harm. Though when Selina speaks again, Iris blinks in surprise - because how else is she supposed to feel about that statement. "Really?" she asks, one eyebrow raising slightly but her tone suggesting that she's not doubting the words. But she certainly wasn't expecting that and is curious if there are more details.

Yet, notably, she also turns slightly in her chair so that she can place her notepad on her desk - she won't be taking notes on this portion of the conversation. Partly because she doubts that she'll forget anything that Selina cares to say to elaborate further on what she just said, but also because she does know how to keep a secret. Nobody is supposed to look at her notes on a patient without her permission but... well, sometimes they do anyway and she knows that well enough. Not that it didn't automatically cross her mind that Selina could be delusional - more particularly about the Batman part - but that's simply because she's a psychologist. Further conversation should easily prove or disprove that. "How did that come about?" she asks curiously.

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So when Iris blinks, and shifts to put away her nods, she's at rapt attention, a faint blush and shyness coming to her. "Mhm." Is all she says, thinking on how to proceed about that. Thankfully, Iris prompts her further, by asking how. But how with which one? And how far does she go in explaining just..how it all came about?

"Well, Bruce is easy," she starts. "We attend quite a few of the same functions. Benefits, galas, philanthropist blah-blahs. And during most of these events, well, I danced with him a few times, and we tend to ....put on a face of sorts, while making 'small talk' at the gatherings..and to be honest? We mock people." And it was truth. One of her more favorite past-times was baiting some of Gotham's 'harpies' as she had coined them. The pure-bred socialite wenches who were single, and married who tended to throw themselves at Mister Wayne, vying for his attention. Smiling slightly, she continues. "It just...went from there, I guess. We're not quite public...and decline when most paparazzi ask..because...it's hard to go to a function with another date, if it's called for, and then have to answer all the dumb questions later on. The 'oh, why are they with so-and-so instead of her, or him?!' and that sort of nonsense. So...it's more...private." It's easier to start with how she met Bruce, rather than go into how she met Batman, even though...both happened, quite close together. Bruce, Batman, both were known as household names before she met them face to face.

As she is in the limelight quite it a bit, it just makes sense for her to keep things to herself. Not everything has to be out there for people to have opinions on. Or to judge. And even as Catwoman, she's known by her costume, by what she does. So to have an iota of privacy in what she thinks, believes, or does, is a treasure. And even her relationships, both which are..soon to be more than highly publicized, even though they're quite..out there anyway, are her own, no matter what everyone else thinks, be it Bruce, or Batman.

And as for Batman...well, that is nearly the same. Flirting on the rooftops, the struggles for him to try and restrain her, the subtle give and take...it was a intricately done dance, if anything. But how exactly does she tell her therapist that she met him? At work? ...that's true, to a point, but...does she really want to let on that she's Catwoman, so soon? She's told Iris who she's involved with, but hasn't exactly said that they're the same man. So she will have to address the possible question of...what does each man think of the other? Laughing a bit to herself at that one, Selina smirks to herself, slightly bemused at the thought. She is rather grateful the woman is just...listening to her now. Even if she does divulge everything to her, it won't be on record, thankfully.