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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2013 3:43:46 GMT -5
Iris nods thoughtfully as she listens, for what Nathaniel says is all true as well. Not only is the city a mess, there are numerous influences - the source of many of them being the very things that are supposed to stop and prevent its problems - that are not only keeping it that way but actively encouraging it to get worse. She's actually quite certain that very few of those responsible actually want the city to be as bad as it is, but some of them do the wrong thing with all the best of intentions, even more are more concerned with their own selfish desires than what the city needs, and then there are that large swath of humanity that would rather sit back and do nothing than actually put in the required hard work to fix anything.
Iris is none of those, especially not the latter. Which is why as Nathaniel describes his father's... decline, the first part of it strikes a familiar cord with her. Is she not positive and hoping to make a big difference? But there's a fundamental distinction between Dr. Arkham and herself. "The rope bridge swings for all of us," she comments, "Life is not a bed of roses for anyone. The real difference between people is that some handle it well, while others handle it badly - often reverting to whatever thought patterns they're genetically predisposed toward while under stress. And that's the genesis of insanity."
Though she purposely neglects to indicate that she's still talking about Nathaniel's father, she suspects he'll know she at least somewhat meant it that way anyway. Because she certainly does see the signs that the man is going that direction if he doesn't change his course, and she rather doubts that he's going to - it would be well outside her boss's personality to do any such thing.
However, she suspects that Nathaniel doesn't want to dwell on such thoughts, so she quite happily switches gears back to talking about the asylum and city more generally. "I've looked into the history of the city before to see what I can of the reasons for that very thing, actually. And the conclusion that I came to is that the only difference between Gotham and it's neighbors all up and down the coast is that in the beginning the corruption you'd find in any large city was worse. That corruption was large enough to become a self-supporting system, growing so severe that it spawned generations of people who don't believe in the supposedly legitimate government - and for good reason. End result: anarchy and chaos, still disguised as an orderly system. And chaos breeds madness, like a wound becoming infected," she replies, pursing her lips in thought when she's finished, "Or at least, that's my theory." Unfortunately, it's a theory that would be impossible to test.
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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2013 19:55:44 GMT -5
The road to hell is always paved with good intentions. Nathaniel knows this intimately as he speaks to Iris. Amongst the people, it’s like the city. There are just as many who wish to do good as bad; there are those who aren’t sure that what they’re doing is bad. Nathaniel can look at the population of Arkham and know. Not all of them are bad, but enough are. Enough are either only out for their selfish gain or are just going about help the wrong way. Indeed too many are doing more harm than good with the best of intentions. He’ll agree there’s also the lazy, but they are far outnumbered by those who are out to sate their own prides and those who mean all the well in the world, but are misdirected. Nathaniel doesn’t consider himself any of these categories, but he does ponder the possibility that he is. That is why he is so thankful that Iris listens so intently and doesn’t move to cut him off.
Just like her, Nathaniel considers himself an optimist and determined to change the status quo. He wants to make a change in Arkham, in Gotham. His mouth falls grim as he listens to her. He understands that the subject of her focus is his father, though it strikes a chord within him. He tries to shake it off, but being an Arkham, knowing just who genetically predisposed he is towards some sort of…insanity. He taps the desk. “At least I have bi-directionality working for me. Only half of my genes are inherited from the Arkham bloodline, my upbringing was quite warm…still the concern is there,” he admits to her. “Perhaps that will be what saves me, my concern.” He wonders if his father is or was afraid. Does he see the signs that he’ll probably be material for admission if he doesn’t grab the rope and halt his free fall? Yet even as he asks he knows the answer. His father knows and Iris is right. Nathaniel doubts he’ll switch directions. It would take a huge trauma and even then, Nathaniel’s not sure it would work. His father had always been the most stubborn and determined man he’d ever known.
Yet he’s not allowed to center his ruminations on such thoughts for long and he offers Iris a smile of gratitude for it. He needed to be drawn from that darkness and finally someone takes pity instead of trying to push him. She may be curious as to what makes him tick, but she’s also courteous and that means more than she’ll ever know to him. He doesn’t mind the intrigue so long as it’s not followed by imprudence.
“I think it’s a good theory, one hard to prove with actual physical evidence and a bit frustrating in that right, but also frustrating because it was chance. Simple luck caused Gotham in it’s beginning to be so ripe for madness. This city was founded at the wrong time in the wrong place. All it took was for one extreme organization of anarchy to settle here. Cities have their blotches and sometimes the bad is beneficial, inspiring. It’s like the bacteria that settles on our skin. Beneficial, but if it goes unchecked it becomes like a staph infection. Everything looks so sunny on the outside, but within? This city suffers and it’s become so infected the government noticed.” He shook his head. “But even they went about it the wrong way. Gotham good or bad is resilient.”
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2013 0:13:11 GMT -5
As Nathaniel speaks about his concerns for himself, thanks to the unfortunate genetic link between him and his father, Iris can't help but give him a sympathetic smile. "Well, everyone has their demon to fight. Mine is most likely paranoid schizophrenia. Hasn't seemed to touch my immediate family, but few of them have experienced many traumatic triggers yet there's certain relatives on both sides..." she shakes her head and comments, "So anytime it seems like the whole world is against me I have to start wondering about myself. That's why I take very good care of myself - I don't want to go one step in that direction if I can help it." Worrying about your mind breaking into pieces may be troubling, but so is the thought of losing the ability to tell what's real and what's not - which is worse is probably a matter of opinion.
As Nathaniel agrees with her theory on why Gotham has gone the way it's gone she smiles and nods, now idly picking at her food rather than eating much of it. She can't help but forget that technically this is their lunch break simply because the conversation is so engrossing, but eventually she realizes that trying to eat anything substantial is official hopeless at this point and she's plenty full already. Continuing to listen, she closes up the box and pushes it aside - she can either eat more of it later or take it home to eat as leftovers, depending on how soon she gets hungry again.
Giving an extra firm nod to Nathaniel's last statement, Iris says, "Yes - it's a tough city in all ways. And while that's actually a part of the problem, there's actually something to be admired about a city with such a fighting spirit. It's like a particularly stubborn patient - you can want it to change, you can try to fix it, but it will only get better when it wants to. All anyone who would like to turn it around can do is to convince a majority of the people that the city can and should be different, and that it's worth all the work that would be required. Because no outside influence, especially the influence of a heavy-handed government, can do anything to help it when it just plain isn't ready for change."
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2013 23:54:45 GMT -5
Nathaniel’s food is already pressed to the side of the desk and so he’s free to listen. Listening to Nathaniel can have different body postures. He can be bored in which he’ll slouch and have his elbows on the table and then there is his engaged posture. He sits back in his chair, almost completely straight, but he’s leaning back ever so slightly. His eyes are level and intent on the person, perhaps staring into their eyes, but always focused on their face. His entire core is relaxed. This is the stance he has now as he gives his attention to Iris. Secondary motives aside, she’s enthralling professionally: the kind of doctor it would do him well to be friends with despite her thinking outside the box of most of the doctors here. They thought far too much into the box and hid its corners besides.
“And Gotham isn’t ready for change, not on that scale yet,” he said conversationally, “The move to attempt to force it under martial law did more harm than good. Not only did it force the heroes to band together, but I imagine more than not, so did the rogues, the very people they were attempting to do away with. When the status quo is threatened even the lonest wolves will group into a pack,” he says, “but I have hope for it. If you look close enough you can see it, maybe even feel it, the ripples. People are getting braver, maybe because they have no choice, or maybe because they’ve lived here so long they recognize just how hearty they are. Gotham is resilient and one day, I know it’ll find the light again. We just have to encourage it.”
He leaned forward, shifting his feet on the floor and chuckled, “That’s what we should do. Force is a move to use at discretion. We need to encourage like the parent who is trying to get their child to walk. You’re right; we can’t make them do anything. We can talk and talk, but patients, people, a city have to want to change and if they don’t? We might as well speak until we’re hoarse for all the good it would do. You’re a positive realist, Iris…I like that.” He smiles warmly. “You’re so kind and we share something else in common,” maybe it isn’t right to technically joke as he did, but he couldn’t not. “My own demon is also paranoid schizophrenia, anything in the line of schizophrenia and related disorders. My uncle who founded the asylum was a paranoid schizophrenic and I’m pretty it’s hit others in my paternal bloodline with my mom, I’m pretty sure it’s Major Depressive Disorder, but I’ve yet to show signs of either.”
He lets his hands dangle over his knees, “But despite that, I have the faith that even though we’re not from Gotham, we can handle it. We’re resilient too, if not because we have the ability to step back and breathe…but we know what’s healthy and not. You listened to me. It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to talk so much and not…feel like I was boring someone with all my psychology theories. It’s…it’s nice.”
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2013 18:47:54 GMT -5
The way that Iris tends to sit in her chair is actually the opposite of Nathaniel - when she's interested she tends to lean forward, her hand often going to her chin as if her head needs an extra support as she watches who she's speaking to quite intently. Sometimes her eyes seem to grow unfocused when she's thinking deeply about the conversation, but the moment the person she's talking to say something else that's interesting she immediately focuses back on them as if craving more information. When she's bored, on the other hand, she leans back and crosses her legs - her eyes sometimes wandering the room as if looking for something more interesting to think about. Of course at the moment she's very much the former - now that her food is out of the way, both elbows are on the table, and her chin is resting on the interlaced fingers of her hands.
"You know I think that may be a part of the reason, at least subconsciously, that I decided to stay in Gotham. Beyond the sheer 'prestige' of working here, I mean - this city has been struggling for a very long time but with those recent signs that it may be starting to turn around, perhaps this is where I can most make a difference. Or at least more than moving back to Arizona - people seemed to be happier there. And much more relaxed!" she shakes her head at that, thinking about the various things she's seen in the city. If you ask her, the entire city needs to learn how to simply keep calm.
"It was honestly a huge culture shock when I moved here, but I'm like a desert plant - strong enough to survive in the worst places. But you only get that way when you take advantage of every bit of peace and joy you find, especially during times that both are scarce. You need that inner reserve to draw upon," she says, smiling as she adds, "And it always makes me so happy whenever I meet someone whose spirit hasn't wasted away to almost nothing. There's too much of that here - it's like the city bleeds people dry if they let it. And, like you said, there's too few people to ramble about psychology with. Even those in the same field are often too jaded to want to talk about anything that sounds remotely hopeful about humanity."
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2013 22:33:24 GMT -5
Watching the way she pays attention, the act is unconscious, but Nathaniel leans forward as well. His elbows don’t find the table, but instead the meat of his legs. To place his elbows on the table would place him close to Iris, within an intimate distance that would be uncomfortable for the both of them. Attraction aside, he is polite. Yet these aren’t conscious thoughts and the act of resting his elbows atop his legs is done without a thought. Without the food playing the little distraction it did, he can even better focus on her and give her his utmost attention even though he’s aware that break is almost over. He finds the subject of their conversation in more appropriate in this light.
He chuckles and nods, “I know that’s why I decided to take my father up on his agreement to me. I believe we were different men when I first told him I’d come back to Gotham to pursue my Doctorate, and at the time I was more than determined to break it, but coming back every summer seeing the small ways Gotham has improved, California’s too relaxed for me,” he shakes his head grinning, “I need a little stress in my life, or at least…I find myself at home helping people actually deal with it. I believe this city just needs our kind of people. We know how to healthily deal,” he looks around her office again, “in fact I think I’m learning a thing or two about dealing even better. I believe I need to ask for your advice on even better coping.” He doesn’t tell her yet about his own illness, that can be spoken of later.
Besides he’s too busy admiring her as much as he is conversing with her. He agrees she’s a desert plant, strong about to survive the worst places, but beautiful like the blossoming of a cactus. Personality wise he’s interested and physical attractiveness? She may be older than him, but she is stunning: glowing. “You have to take advantage of the little things in life. My own personal experiences told me that. I was in a coma when I was younger for months because of an accident…you don’t come out of that and realize to just let life pass you by or the little things to get you down, especially here. This city can dig into your sorrow and it will bleed you dry if you let it, you’re right.” He smiles a genuine and truthful smile. “I have no plans to be wasted too much to live for and I pray I never become one of those psychologists. I never want to lose hope…I think if you do, it’s time to stop. You can’t be hopeless for the people you treat,” he said and looked down, shaking his head.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2013 2:18:54 GMT -5
As Nathaniel explains his need for stress, Iris nods in understanding. Well, perhaps she doesn't see the need to be stressed herself, but she certainly has a need to be around it - anywhere there is stress, there is someone who is crying out for her help. There were far fewer of those per mile in Arizona. In fact, she suspects that a key part of the city's woes really is something as simple as people not being able to deal. If they were able to deal, then they wouldn't be running around in a costume late at night.
She has to smile when Nathaniel suggests that she might be able to give him some advice on dealing, halfway suspecting that's him conveniently coming up with an excuse to see her again. But, whether that's the reason, he actually feels like he needs it, or both doesn't really matter to her - she's happy to share her specialty with him. "Have you tried yoga? Do you meditate? Or would you prefer something more creative? There's so many techniques I could show you..." she comments, leaving that out there for him to pick up if he wishes. No, she certainly wouldn't mind seeing more of him, given that this is probably the most pleasant conversation that she's ever had at the asylum.
Nodding again as he touches upon some of his personal history. "The trick is to always be a little tougher than your surroundings," she comments with a smile, "Which isn't easy, but it keeps you sane." And quite literally, as she indicated earlier in the conversation. "And no - I firmly believe that there's hope for any patient. Not a cure, maybe, but always improvement - always something that will improve their lives," she adds, her eyes idly shifting to the clock on her desk so that she can note the time. It's that late already? But she doesn't want to be done talking yet!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2013 3:51:21 GMT -5
His own eyes had spotted the clock as she spoke and he’d felt his heart sink just slightly. They had been having the most thorough and intuitive conversation he’d had since he’d left Stanford. His conversations with his father don’t count. He considers those just as fondly, but they are with family and a man he has never lost admiration for, even if his professional respect for him wanes. But beyond the intellect, there was the ease of her company and just how the time seemed to fly. There is no doubt he’d been enjoying their lunch together and he is disappointed to see it ended, but there is the promise of her helping with relaxation techniques. He smiles at that.
“I do some mediation, I find it helps relax me, but I would love to get back into yoga. It’s both very good for you and very mentally rewarding. I,” he rubs the back of his head bashfully, “I did research on it as well attended a class in Cali and it’s often something I recommend to my clients. There’s hope for every patient, maybe not cures, but management and I would rather they learn to cope themselves than find dependence in a drug. That is no life,” and he knew that because of his own experiences: the quivers, the hallucinations some of the drugs he’d been given caused. Until he’d taken up mediation and other such hobbies. “I play violin when I need to relieve stress too. It brings me to a sense of harmony. Maybe I could play for you sometime.” He knows he can thrive under stress, he accepts that, but thriving and being healthy aren’t the same things. If finds himself under too much duress, sure it might feel exciting, but the damage it can cause his body? So he knows how to relax, how to get a taste. He’ll leave the ability to be able to thrive under stress for a moment he’ll need it.
In Gotham and Arkham Asylum he believes he’ll find it adaptive. Yet his request to inquire further into stress management is two-fold. He is very interested in it and knows it will help him better understand his own studies and yes, he’ll admit it’s an absolute excuse to see her again. He knows he needs to bond with her before he broaches the subject of an actual formal date. He moves to begin gathering his leftovers. “I hope I didn’t distract you too much from your lunch. You were really pleasant company. I’d love to do this again,” he smiles, “we can convene in my office next office next time if you’d like.” He places his boxes back into the bag and stands. “Thank you for letting me treat you to lunch.”
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2013 4:11:50 GMT -5
Iris smiles when he says that he already does some meditation. "Good!" she comments, as she considers it to be a fundamental basic of being able to 'deal' - she's yet to find an exercise that better teaches one that they're in control of their own mind and how to do it. And yoga she believes is just as good for the mind as it is for the body - again it teaches self-control. When what is internal is mastered, then the external becomes easy.
And he's not the only one who has hobbies that helps him cope. "I also sing," she comments with a smile, making a mental note to ask him sometime if he knows how to play any songs that she knows on the violin, "And sometimes I paint, but not well." She doesn't exactly thrive under stress, but she's able to handle a great deal of it without it causing her any harm - either mentally or physically. When life gets rough she hunkers down until the worst is over, and then thrives in the good moments. And if there's not enough good moments to balance out her life, then she makes some.
Watching as he starts gathering up his leftovers, she can't help but sigh internally and wish that the time didn't fly by whenever she's enjoying herself. But that's just the way things go, and his words are promising that she'll get other opportunities to talk to him. "No, if anything, my lunch was distracting me from you," she says, her eyes amused since she's fully aware of how cheesy that sounds. But she's not afraid of sounding cheesy when she's only speaking the truth. "And I'd love to see your office - maybe I can treat you back?" she suggests, already pondering what she'd bring. Something simple, but delicious... sandwiches, maybe? She does know a few places that are really good at those... "And you're very welcome - feel free to invade my office whenever you want," she adds with another smile.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2013 4:48:05 GMT -5
Nathaniel is sure his smile can’t get any brighter, but with every compliment and praise from Iris, it feels like it does and he feels his chest warm in pride at being able to please her. He feels almost like a teenager, but he has more control. He doesn’t stutter anymore and he’s more in control. Mind over his hormones has gotten so much easier over the years. He blames that less on the mediation and yoga, though, and more on the fact that his brain has matured. Though, sure the mediation and yoga helped. In using those to help with keep his own anxiety down it allowed his cognition to improve instead of being stunted by the possible effects of his coma and chemical exposure to Fear Toxin. He is certain that had he not found a coping mechanism his psychological health would have suffered and perhaps his maturity had stunted. But he believes that in fact he’s a lot more mature than most, and he doesn’t really feel like he’s bragging by claiming that.
“You sing?” He asks with interest. “Well maybe sometime he can double team. I’ll play violin and you can sing,” he nods, “I’d love to hear you sing sometime.” He is definitely open to discussing if there are any songs they both may know or even learning a few. He’ll not deny jut wanting to to have an excuse to see her even more. “Between you and me, I don’t paint every well either. I can draw alright…if you’re asking me to draw diagrams or maybe the human brain,” he chuckles. And while yes, his is more a thriving, he knows how to take care of himself and not become overwhelmed. His stress threshold is also high. It always had been even before his incident. Maybe that ran in the genes, he doesn’t know. But he knows how much is too much and he worked with exercises to teach him how to retreat instead of overexert himself. Like her, he thrives in the good moments and makes them when they’re too few.
Even though he’s the one gathering, he also wants to complain just a little that he has to go. He really doesn’t want to at all, but she has patients and so does he and they both realize how important they are to those people. The world still turns and her responses give him his own sense of hope. He laughs at her cheesy statement, but rejoins it, “And mine was from you, but it was a great ice breaker. My grandmother always thinks food is the heart of every meeting. You share a good meal, you share good moods and those make good conversations. You have to nourish all of you.” He picks up his bag and sighs. “I’d really like that,” he says to her offer of seeing his office and treating him back. “I’ll keep that in mind. You’re also welcome to peek into my office anytime you want. One offer deserves a return after all.” He goes to the door and opens it.
“Thanks again, Iris…I’ll see you again soon,” he adds before he waves and with a final smile leaves the office reluctantly. There was so much more he wanted to say, but it would have all been to stall his departure. And as funny as it that could have been, he knows he needs to be practical.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2013 15:47:55 GMT -5
"I'd love that!" is Iris's immediate response to Nathaniel's suggestion of a duet, her own smile becoming brighter as she reflects that they've mentioned a lot of things they could do together over the course of the conversation. A very, very good sign that they're highly compatible, which... frankly makes her a little nervous if she thinks about it too much. And she doesn't easily get nervous.
As he gets up, she simply sits and watches - yes, it's much easier to be the one who can stay right where she is and doesn't have to force herself to go anywhere when the desire to stay and keep talking is so strong. But time is always marching forward whether you want it to or not. Yet obviously they'll be able to find plenty of excuses to talk again, so the conversation will just have to be put on hold for awhile. "Your grandmother is a wise woman," she comments with a smile, as she'd definitely agree with the entire sentiment.
Straightening in her chair, she starts to shift gears by retrieving the file for her next patient from the pile next to her desk, but she gives Nathaniel one last smile as she says, "Thank you and you're welcome! And I look forward to it!" She just has to decide when she wants to 'surprise' him with a return lunch. Definitely not too many days, as she doesn't want to wait that long or make him worry that she's changed her mind. But would tomorrow be too soon? She'll have to ponder that one.
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