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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2012 17:29:28 GMT -5
Nodding slowly, Iris clarifies, "Yes. When something is simply too overwhelming, the mind tends to block it out. But as you're able to handle the memory, pieces of it should start to come back to you. And try not to worry about that too much either - may I point out that, whatever happened, you know how it ends? You know that you ended up here and in one piece, and seem to be in touch with reality, which means that whatever happened you've been extremely lucky. There's no reason to assume that anything has happened that you won't be able to handle." Of course, all the evidence points to something really bad having happened as well, but he seems to be too focused on it at the moment.
But she knows how to solve that problem. "Have you ever tried any relaxation techniques before? Deep breathing, meditation, anything like that?" she asks, knowing just how helpful such things can be to someone in Victor's situation.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2012 20:03:57 GMT -5
Victor nodded slowly as he listened to her speak. It was alot to take in... Or at least it was alot to take in when you were currently trying to remember what it was your mind blocked out. "Ok so..... Are you going to try and help me remember?" He asked trying not to sound combative. "Or are you here to make sure I'm fine?" He was honestly hoping she was here to do both. Help him find out if he was ok because that would certainly go a long way towards calming his nerves. And remember the night before because he was slightly afraid of what might have happened.
He then looked at his hands as they were shaking. "Yes I've done deep breathing before." He said not making eye contact. "but never for anything like this." He said with a slightly weak voice. This was all distressing to him to say the least. Not remembering the night before as well as waking up in an asylum and having lost his best friend. Those three things were hampering his ability to keeping calm.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2012 23:33:59 GMT -5
Listening patiently to his questions, Iris nods slightly as she answers, "Well, right here and now I'm mostly making sure that you're 'fine', though I'd think that being able to remember what you should be able to remember is a part of being 'fine' - don't you?" Especially given how concerned about it he seems to be. There are so many mental issues that are only considered to be an issue if they're upsetting to the person who has it, after all. She can't then ignore it when he seems so focused on it.
Still, that's looking at the end of the road, and here they are at the beginning. And so much of this would probably be easier to discuss if he was a bit calmer, so she forges ahead. Nodding when he mentions deep breathing, she says, "It may seem like such a little, probably useless thing to do when you have a big problem, but deep breathing alone is extremely useful for anything that's stressful. But since you've done that before, I'd like to walk you through a basic meditation exercise - deep breathing calms the body and that helps calm the mind, but meditation calms the body and mind very directly. Would you like to try it?"
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2012 23:45:08 GMT -5
Victor nodded in agreement with her statement. She did have a point after all, being able to remember something would be a strong sign that he was fine. He looked at his still shaking hands. He didn't know why they were shaking so badly. What could possibly have happened to cause his hands to shake like this? He was normally a very calm man. Or if not calm then calm enough to keep his body still at the very least.
When she asked if he would be willing to take a shot at a meditation exercise he looked up at her. It was clear that he wasn't sure if it would work. In his mind that was a good sign, he was being skeptical. That was something he was naturally. That was a good sign right? He looked back to his hands and saw them shake again. He looked back to Dr. Ledford and shifted in his seat. "I guess it would be ok." He said. Then in an attempt to break the tension he was feeling he added. "It couldn't hurt right?" As he added that he forced himself to smile slightly.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2012 19:14:36 GMT -5
When he agrees to give it a try, Iris gives him an encouraging smile. "Okay, to start with, try to make yourself as comfortable as possible. I'm sorry that the chairs in here aren't very good - you can sit or lay on the floor if you think that might help. You don't want to be too much distracted by how you're sitting," she instructs. This would probably be a lot easier if they could have this session in her office where she has a comfy couch, but that's not necessarily the safest course when handling a new patient so recently recovering from an apparent psychotic break. So this will have to be done here, but it's still doable and she thinks it will be particularly helpful for Victor even if he's skeptical about it.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2012 19:54:25 GMT -5
Victor looked at her as she explained what he should do. He shifted around in the seat and looked back at her."Ok..." He said. He still wasn't convinced that this was going to work. But he wasn't going to pass something up if it had a chance of helping out. He clasped his hands together on the table again trying to stop them from shaking. Again he had no success at it. "What do we do now?" He asked. He wasn't meaning to sound combative at all but he wasn't feeling himself. Also he was skeptical about the idea that this meditation thing would work.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2012 8:32:32 GMT -5
Giving Victor a calm smile, Iris says, "We start with some simple, deep breathing." Her voice shifts just slightly now, becoming intentionally soft and soothing. Given how unrelaxing this environment is, she doubly need to at least make her own presence not a hindrance to this. "Close your eyes, and begin concentrating on your breathing. Make sure that you're breathing properly - with your belly and not your chest. In through the nose, slowly; hold it for just a moment; and then slowly out through the mouth," she instructs, reciting that from memory. "In through the nose - even slower, hold..., and exhale," she repeats, timing her words to his breaths to help in establish a very slow, deep pattern.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2012 11:53:55 GMT -5
Victor had to admit her voice did have a relaxing quality about it. But he was still tense and confused and admittedly irritated. But he wasn't going to question something that the Dr. said. Unless it seemed wrong or dangerous. So he took a deep breath in through his nose doing as she said. He held it for a while then let it out. He focused on the action. He didn't look at his hands. He was sure they were still shaking but he was afraid that it would distract him from the breathing. He took another deep breath through his nose and held it. Listening to her voice. He let it out again. He was feeling better. But only in the way that one felt when it was clear that there wasn't any direct danger. Otherwise Victor was still feeling uncomfortable to say the least.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2012 21:32:13 GMT -5
Watching him carefully as he begins to relax, Iris leads him through a few more breaths until he seems to settle into a pattern that he can maintain himself. But this is just the easy part, actually - settling the body. While it does ease the mind a little, deep breathing only does so much. Which is why she next guides him into a more meditative state.
"Begin to turn your focus more towards your breathing. With every inhale picture the good, clean air entering your body, traveling into your lungs before spreading through your entire body. Picture the bad air in your entire body being gathered together into your lungs, and leaving you with every exhale. Think of nothing but your breathing. If another thought comes to your mind, don't try to not think about it. Instead simply notice the thought, remind yourself that whatever it is can wait until you're finished, set it aside, and refocus your attention on your breathing. Don't worry if it keeps happening, simply trying is good enough," she instructs, keeping her tone unobtrusive and calm.
This is actually an extremely basic sort of meditative exercise, though it's actually quite tricky for someone who isn't used to it. But Iris knows that the simple act of slowing down the constant mind chatter that a stressed person has going on in their head is deeply relaxing to the mind even if it refuses to be silenced completely.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2012 22:24:25 GMT -5
Victor was relaxing abit. But not completely, he didn't really like being here or in this situation. He took a deep breath and listened to Dr. Ledford's voice. It did have a soothing quality to it. But not quite enough to make him relax completely. He brought in his breath and then let it back out focusing on it. He had his eyes closed so he couldn't tell for sure if his hands were shaking. But he could feel that at the very least they weren't shaking as much.
He did as she told him and tried not to control his thoughts completely He didn't try to block out any thoughts. He focused on his breathing... As he did this he realized that he was seeing an image... Or rather he was remembering a image. It was of the moon.... A full moon. He didn't focus on it despite how much he wanted to. Instead he focused on his breathing.
He continued on like this for a while but then found his mind returning to the image. He found himself focusing on it. The image changed from just a image to a movie of sorts. He frowned as it played in his mind. He was seeing something through the eyes of someone else. Then this person looked down.... And it wasn't a someone... It was a something! What was this? Was this a memory? Is this what he was forgetting? The fact that his was being rather unnerved by what he was seeing was clear on his face.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2012 1:38:15 GMT -5
Watching him as carefully as she is, Iris doesn't fail to miss seeing the change in Victor's expression. And she has some idea what the problem might be - she didn't think that it was likely that the meditation would stir up something when his mind seemed so keen on keeping its secrets from him. Then again, that's under a conservative estimate as far as the current state of his mind, so it's not completely surprising either.
"Keep breathing, try to stay calm, and let the thought come, Victor," she advises this time, "If the thought wants to be in your mind that badly then you probably need it to be. But remember that it may not be something you should take a face value - fear toxin causes you to see things that aren't real and you may be remembering that." Remarkably, she says all of this with the same calm tone she had before, making it seem as if this is totally normal and expected. Sometimes to be a good psychologist you need to be a good actress.
"And if you have a hard time handling it, it may help if you tell me what it is," she adds. She's not going to insist that anyone tell her anything that seems that deep in a first session, so she'll give him the option even if it may be important simply because trust has yet to be fully established. It's quite rare for a thought that pressing just to come up during a meditation exercise, but in Iris's experience that means that it's really that important. Especially if it's bothering him that much.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2012 22:20:08 GMT -5
Victor couldn't figure out what he was looking at. He was afraid of what it might be. He was seeing this through the eyes of this creature. Which might have meant that he was seeing what had happened after....... No that can't be right. He wasn't a werewolf. He knew better then that. After all... those didn't exist... Right?
He heard Dr. Ledford's voice coming through his head. He listened to what she said and kept breathing and let the image come through. It was strange. What he saw was a wolf creature running. Or rather saw the world through the eyes of this wolf creature. It had such power, and the felling of intimidation was strong with it. He then saw it run into an alleyway and come face to face with some kinda mugger. The mugger was armed with some kind of assault rifle. When the man went to shoot the werewolf the bullets didn't do any harm what so ever. The werewolf then lunged towards the man claws out and.....
Victor jumped out of his seat and took a few steps away from the table. His heart was racing and he had broken out in cold sweat. That wasn't him.... He didn't kill anyone...... That can't have been real....
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2012 0:11:45 GMT -5
Knowing that his mind is lost in something - likely one of his suppressed memories - Iris is patient with him. So long as he doesn't go completely psychotic, they're fine. She doesn't move again until he's jumped out of his seat, and even then it's only to ask, "Are you okay?" She knows the answer to that already (one might say that she's a professional when it comes to that question, after all), but she just wants to be sure that he knows the answer.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2012 23:02:19 GMT -5
In all honesty Victor didn't know if he was ok. He couldn't really wrap his head around what he just saw.... Or remembered... Or what ever it was that just happened. He rubbed his forehead as he took a few steps towards the back wall. He looked at his feet then around the room. He was starting to panic but managed to bring himself back under control when he remembered to breath deeply. He then sat down on the floor with his back against the wall. "What does it mean...." He asked then swallowed. "What does it mean when I have a..... A vision of.... Some kinda monster..." He asked with his voice trailing off.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2012 16:22:45 GMT -5
Iris is patient as she watches Victor tries to recover, giving him the time that he needs to calm himself. And it's a very good sign that he does calm himself - a hint of mental robustness that will likely result in recovery. Even in spite of what he says next, she's optimistic.
"It could be one of the memories," she replies, but is quick to add, "But that doesn't mean that it's real. Like I said, you were exposed to fear toxin. The hallucinations from that drug are supposed to seem completely real to the person, no matter how strange they were. So if you're remembering a monster, you probably did see a monster - one that was never really there. I suggest waiting until you remember more before you decide what it means - once you know what happened both before and after whatever it is that you saw, then you'll be able to know how real it is." Knowing that he's still agitated, she keeps her voice very calm.
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